Long-delayed Thoughts on Recently Experienced Media

I know, I haven't written anything in over a month and it isn't like there hasn't been a ton to write about.  Let's ignore all of that.  What have I been watching/reading/etc.?

Movies

"Jurassic World" - There really isn't much I can say about this movie that hasn't been said before, except that it exists and it's in our world and it's somehow already one of the top five movies ever (???!!!???) and there's going to be a sequel and there's nothing we can do about it.

"Inside-Out" - I'm just so *happy* that this movie exists and is amazing and being *appreciated* for how amazing it is. This movie is going to be a formative experience for a lot of kids.  I know I'd probably be in a better headspace right now if there was a sad movie for sad girls reassuring us that there is nothing wrong with being sad back in the day.

"The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" - (Trish just makes a long, drawn-out raspberry.)

Okay, seriously.  There is no reason at all why this inch-thick children's book had to be three bloated movies long, Wyvern!Smaug looks dumb as hell from the neck down, I cared more about what Beorn was doing during the battle than the filmmakers thought I should (and I cared several orders of magnitude less about Bard's stupid kids than they thought I should).  I could go on, but I can't wait for the reasonably-lengthed single movie fan edit, and if anyone is checking in from the timeline where Guillermo DelToro made "The Hobbit", please tell me it wasn't any better than this.  Look right into my eyes and lie.

"Into the Woods" - And meanwhile, here's a movie that had every reason in the world to be split into two movies (covering acts one and two respectively) but wasn't.  What the hell?  It wasn't that bad, but boy did it ever feel rushed.

"Jupiter Ascending" - I really wish that this was another "John Carter" situation where I could say, "Hey, remember that crazy-looking fantasy space adventure that bombed spectacularly?  It's actually really good and even better, in some respects, than a similar, far more popular movie."  And I just cannot, in good conscience, do that.  It's not even fun-stupid (ladies, let's promise that if anyone wants to make us Queen of Earth where the other option is Normal Girl - especially if we can tell the villains to sod off and leave Earth alone in either case, let's all decide to be Queen of Earth).

I did like the part at the end where Channing Tatum transformed into the humanlike version of literally every unimaginative kid's DeviantArt Original Character.

"Chappie" - Now this movie was something else.  I liked it well enough, and the robot was adorable, but... well, Matt Singer said it best:

CHAPPIE left with me one or two questions about the nature of consciousness and a million questions about Die Antwoord.

— Matt Singer (@mattsinger) March 5, 2015

"Ex Machina" - Great, great movie.  I wouldn't dare spoil it, so watch it already.


"Predestination" - Another really good science fiction Indie.  Honestly, I'm just impressed that anyone managed to adapt "All You Zombies" into a film, and an excellent one at that.

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Television/Streaming

"Bojack Horseman" - This might be the best kept secret in all of made-for-streaming television.  It's weird and hilarious and full of surprising pathos.  Lisa Hanawalt's character designs are incredible and that "Chicken for Days" episode is unreal.

"Sense8" - Get through that first episode.  Trust me, that isn't what this series is.  Like the best science fiction, it's focused more on how the fantastical element affects the characters in their everyday lives.  It's really good.

"Wet, Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp" - It doubles-down on the craziness of the movie, that's for sure.  Some folks will love that; some will hate it.  Personally, my opinion is a little mixed but I *died* during the third episode.

"Rick and Morty" - Do you miss "Futurama"?  Did you enjoy the more bonkers episodes of "Community"?  You might dig this.  It's dark, weird, and God damned awe-inspiring.

"Seigfried and Roy: Masters of the Unbelievable" - There was a rumor going around the Something Awful forums that the "We Hate Movies" podcast was going to do this as part of their Animation Damnation series.  I watched it only because I had extremely vague memories of seeing a commercial for it as a kid.  This show was either (a) a failed pilot, (b) the longest, weirdest early "Final Fantasy" cutscene ever, (c) an entire failed SERIES awkwardly mashed down to one 90 minute special, or (d) delirium tremens.  Anyway, I don't want to make the We Hate Movies crew watch the New Kids on the Block cartoon anymore.  You can watch the whole shebang here.

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Sketch of the Day

I have also been watching many Let's Plays and doodling along.

"We were the victims of ourselves!" - Thoughts on "John Carter"

"John Carter" is every bit as good as "Avatar", for good and for ill.  Indeed, it is better in some respects.  It is definitely worth watching if you are in any way curious about it or have enjoyed any works of science fiction/fantasy/adventure created in the past one hundred years.  For indeed, this film is based as reverently as possible the root of nearly all such fiction.  And it had the good luck to be made by people who genuinely love the hell out of the source material.

Right.  So let me try and talk about "John Carter" without screaming and swearing at Disney's almost impressively sh**ty marketing department.

("Cheep, cheep, cheep," go the crickets.)

Yeah, I really can't.  Let me regale you with anecdotal evidence of how impressively sh**ty a job Disney did in promoting "John Carter":

My sister and our best friend are both big fans of "Friday Night Lights".  Tim Riggins is their favorite character, if for no other reason than the fact that he is pretty hot.  Got all that?  Good, because NEITHER OF THEM WERE EVEN AWARE THAT THERE IS A MOVIE WHERE TAYLOR KITSCH GOES TO MARS AND KICKS EVERYONE'S ASS WHILE WEARING ALMOST NOTHING BUT A LOINCLOTH AND A SMILE FOR TWO HOURS! 

Furthermore, our friend loves "Avatar".  A lot.  She isn't one of those "I was a Na'vi in another life; I cry at night because Earth is too boring; I'm going to move to Pandora Landora in Disney when it opens" types, but surely her curiosity might have been piqued if something along the lines of, oh, "From the classic stories that inspired one hundred years of epic sci-fi/fantasy" had been in the trailers.  Maybe more emphasis on the really alien aliens and exotic landscapes.  Maybe mention that the story involves an Earthling going to another planet and falling in love with an alien princess.  You know, like the book's title does.

That's at least two butts that could have been in seats right there.  And they are instead looking forward to "Battleship".

This one's for you, Disney marketing peoples.

(Okay, to be fair, so far they have been doing an awesome job promoting "Wreck-It Ralph".  Though this may be the broken clock being right twice a day.)

So as far as "John Carter" as a movie, it is, as I said, every bit as good as "Avatar".  The beginning drags like crazy, there are a fair number of corny moments, and the ending could most generously be described as abrupt.  However, Barsoom looks fabulous with the production design taking inspiration from all the many and varied fantasy illustrators who ever interpreted Edgar Rice Burrough's imaginary worlds.  The various animated characters are well-realized and -perhaps this is Andrew Stanton being true to his roots- are by far more interesting than any of the humans.  Mad props to whomever decided that Woola shouldn't just be a dog with extra legs but should instead resemble something ugly-cute out of the Permian.  The main antagonists are pretty interesting as they are God-tier beings who long ago decided to use their eternal, all-powerful lives to basically screw with mortals.  This isn't spelled out much, though, hence the abrupt ending.  All in all, this is a movie that did not deserve the fate it got, and hopefully it will gain a cult audience.

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Sketch of the Day!  Who wouldn't want to ride a Chocobo?

Everyone has an Opinion about "The Tree of Life". Here's Trish's. (And a blog announcement.)

"In the beginning the Universe was created.

"This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

-- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

WARNING For CONCERNED PARENTS Before We Get Rolling: This review will contain language that refers to gross things that happen in nature and that will happen to your children because of nature and that, depending on their age, you ought to have explained to them by now because they are pretty alarming when you aren't expecting them.

Oh, boy. Where do I begin? Where do WE, dear reader, begin with this one? This thing called "Tree of Life", that we are gathered here today to get through?

This is the kind of deeply strange movie that just begs to be discussed. If we are absurdly lucky, such a film gains some mainstream attention and a wider range of discussions. Though one might argue whether, in this case, it is the film itself or the many and varied opinions it prompted that are more fun. (Indeed, some of the online reviews once "Tree of Life" was made available to a much wider audience through it's DVD release are almost sublime. This is largely because you really wouldn't know what you are getting into with this movie unless you've been reading up about it since the beginning.)

There's an awful lot to unpack here. This is the kind of movie where Sean Penn, who is upset for... some reason, travels up an elevator in a tall and beautifully photographed building mostly made of glass. Upon reaching the top floor, Sean finds that he is... dreaming? In Heaven? At any rate, all the people in the story who died are there on a beach. But so are the people who are still alive, sometimes with younger versions of themselves. They all go in the water. There are gulls. There is a carnival mask in the water. Then Sean travels back down the elevator and walks outside the building. And he doesn't say anything but it is easy to read in his expression the sentiment, "Well. That happened."

We all know what those kinds of movies are like, right?

The bulk of the film is taken up by the Sean Penn character remembering his childhood and his relationship with his brothers and especially with his parents. Especially, and in excruciating detail, his relationship with his parents. (If you are wondering, yes, this is where Brad Pitt is involved. The film has a scene that is practically gift-wrapped for us not-crazy "Fight Club" fans.) One parent is loving and gentle and kind all the time with no flaws, the other preaches tough love and Sean-As-A-Lad's opinion of this parent could write the lyrics to a million Linkin Park songs.

You win no prize for guessing which parent fills what roll. More on that in a bit.

"There are two ways through Life," intones the first (audible) narration, "the way of Nature and the way of Grace". But this being a Terrence Malick film, and knowing that Malick loves nature and especially loves showing his sad little human characters wandering oblivious through the beauty around them, I already called baloney on this theory. The film never comes to a definite conclusion on this issue, and all things considered, I guess that's for the better.

Anyway, characters make bold, barely audible or whispered statements like this about Life, the Universe, and Everything all through the movie. And the sh*t-youself gorgeous onscreen images that this narration intrudes on are, I suppose, meant to be taken as Answers. Sure, why not?

Grace, we are assured, is all beauty and faith and kindness and self-sacrifice and emotion and female Other-ness. Nature, on the other hand, is out for itself, is brutal, violent, and Daddy Issues. Once again, given that this is Terrence "The World Is Just Awesome" Malick, this is baloney... up to a point.

So... yeah... whaddaya say we talk a little bit about the sexual politics in this here movie? Because being a viewer with a uterus, they... bugged me a little. Just a little tiny bit. Okay so obviously father represents Nature and mother stands in for Grace. Father never does anything truly awful, but he is hated and almost vilified, while mother... ah, mother, mother, mother. The paragon of female sainthood and the only major female in the whole shebang. She can do absolutely no wrong and exists for no other reason than to LOVE in all-caps, bold typeface, and red crayon. She is a mysterious nurturer, healer, and bringer of life.

As a reminder, we women, we mysterious Others, as part of the whole "bringer of life" deal also, among other slightly more nuanced things than what is portrayed in this film, hemorrhage gore and blood out of our uteruses periodically. During this time, and mostly because this process is as painful and upsetting as you might assume, we can be angry, we can even be violent, and we can be utterly out for ourselves.

I bring this up because I wish that this film, whose title alludes to one of the icons of biology, approached it's characters a little more... well, everything really. Hell, they're barely even characters; they're talking symbols. (By the way, dear male readers who are being utter sissies about that last paragraph. Deal widdit. Cause I do. Every month.)

The flashbacks to Sean-As-A-Lad take up the great bulk of the film.

(Long awkward pause...)

Yeah, I know, right?!? I was made to expect the whole history of life on Earth and maybe a tiny dramatization of the family and how their story measures against the astonishing tale of life! Well, it turns out that History of Life sequence lasts, at my most optimistic estimate, maybe a grand total of fifteen-twenty minutes! And it's only about a half-hour in! So for me, the film suffers from premature ejaculation, a man-problem that is also upsetting and disgusting (but not as gory. Usually.)

Let's talk about that sequence, fellow paleo-geeks. Briefly, Terrence, I am disappoint. Had I know you were just going to do a *shorter* History of Life on Earth than "Fantasia", well...!

Breaking things down, we get about ten minutes of the formation of the Solar System and Earth, a couple seconds each of single-celled life, early multicellular life, jellyfish, corals, ect. There's a blink-and-you-miss-it shot of an early tetrapod -- and suddenly a swan-necked elasmosaurus, some sharks, and the much-ballyhooed CGI dinosaurs.

The dinosaurs are in the movie for a minute. Maybe a minute and a half. They look perfectly fine I suppose, except for the silly-looking, silly-acting Unidentifiable Theropod. But after that minute and a half the film is totally done with them. Actually, it's done with nonhumans in general, and we're zipped forward to modern times and the story of the boring-ass family. Yeah, I had a bit of a problem with this.

So... A film that wants to show how us humans fit in with the entire history of life, except it really, really doesn't, to the point where the gorgeous nature shots end up being just strange. And it takes place in a world where men are tough, women are wimpy, and little boys do really weird things with dresses (do I even want to know what was going on in that whole scene? Cause I don't even know.)

That said, its a truly beautiful film. And I liked the music. And man oh man I wish the History of Life sequence had gone on much longer, because for all its flaws that part is indeed gorgeous. The film is also so relentlessly "arty" that part of me cannot wait to parody it whenever the opportunity comes up.

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Sketch of the Day

The Teal Deer version of this review. Click for huge:



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I am going to be very busy indeed early this winter so this is as good a time as any to make an announcement. When this blog turns three years old (this coming January), I will be changing the format EVER so slightly.

Instead of making myself write at least two new posts a week on specific days, I'm relaxing my own self-imposed schedule. I'll still have at least one new thing per week/a grand total of at least fifty-two posts per year, I promise, but it will come whenever I can write about it.

I should note that the original "Make myself post something every M/W/F or T/Tr every week unless I am very definitely unable to" schedule was to get me conditioned so that NOT having new posts each week would feel weird and wrong. (It worked. Oh boy, did it ever.) And I did this because when I was a young newcomer to the Internet, I would find awesome websites that looked fascinating and unlike anything else out there -- and that never updated. I didn't want my website to wind up like that and I still promise it won't.

So all in all, it will be a little change, but one that will lower my blood pressure a tad.

Veggie, Fruit-Fruit / Veggie-Veggie, Fruit-Fruit / Veggie, Fruit-Fruit / CHA-CHA-CHA!!!

It's spring! It's spring! It finally came! My gosh, it's actually nice out! The snow is gone and the air is full of bird song and frog song and pollen and mosquitoes and the little blackflies. Always the blackfly no matter where you go.

This week and next week will be nothing but gardening posts to celebrate (and also I will be very busy these two weeks). I've got a doozie to begin with.

Last week, my family and I started in on a grand science experiment: we built a raised vegetable garden. It's out by the side of the house and has not yet been eaten by ungulates knock on wood. Here's the tale of it's construction.

We'd been intrigued by the idea of making a raised bed for a while now and decided to start with a very simple one. We just picked out our five favorite plants and were a little overwhelmed by the options. We got a bunch of different tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, summer squash, basil and mint, seeds of nasturtiums, beets, and spinach, onions to deter squirrels and marigolds to repel bugs. Ideally these plants won't know what pesticides even are.

With our "software" acquired, it was time for the hardware. The garden is basically a box full of dirt. We mixed the peat moss in with the garden soil to retain more water. Now for the fun / emotionally satisfying part: placing the plants in their new homes. They got a nice big soaking to settle the dirt. Hopefully, I'll remember to do weekly updates on it. Any advice or suggestions? Sound off in the comments please. Remember, I'm more used to plants who can essentially care for themselves.

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In other news, the Mtv Movie Awards were this weekend and... It'd be easy to say "this generation of young people has failed." But really, Mtv needs to change the "you can vote online as often as you like" policy. My one vote for my favorite movies isn't going to mean squat against fifty Sucklings with lots of free time.

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Sketch of the Day!



And just to get it out of our heads...

Trish (finally) Watches "The Watchmen" and "Dr. Parnassus".

I am temporarily adopting my usual "three times a week" schedule because there is suddenly much out there in the world of stuff I can geek out about arts and entertainment. Had I stayed with my twice-weekly summer schedule, this review wouldn't have seen the light of day until July.
July is when Drawgasmic is happening! Also, I think -I hope- a certain book will be published during that month. Stay tuned...

On to the movie reviews. So I finally got around to watching Zack Snyder's film adaptation of Watchmen.
Well. That was interesting.
I guess if a Watchmen movie has to exist, it might as well look like this. Did that sound weird? This whole blog post is going to come across as weird.
OK, look. I've read Watchmen many times. The first time was the best, of course. If you have read it, you know why. If you have not, then you probably have heard that the novel has a surprise ending. This is a bit of an understatement; I won't ever forget the experience of reading that ending for the first time. And the thing is, the book pretty much hinges on that ending. Reading the book again, you realize how incredibly *tight* it is. There isn't a single scrap of extraneous information in the book, which is phenomenal if you pause to think about it.
I would say that the film-makers agree with me here, because the entire book, save for maybe a chapter's worth of information, is in the movie.
Seriously. The film "Watchmen" feels like sitting down next to Zack Snyder as he reads the graphic novel to you.
...Until around the two hour, eleven minute (!) mark. Whereupon he puts the book down and makes some stuff up for a couple of minutes.
But the thing is, he then picks the book up, flips ahead a few pages, and starts reading right from it again. Hrm...
I have mentioned this before, back when the film was in theaters, but yes, the ending is different. Except when it isn't.
So is the movie good? Well, yes. Actually, it's very good. They pull off some of the things I thought were going to be tricky or downright impossible (in particular, Dr. Manhattan, who in the film looks and acts as alien as he ought to.)
But you know, I wish I had some kind of a control group -- people who had never heard of the book before much less read it. What in the world did they think of the movie?
By the way, that had to be the second most-uncomfortable-to-watch sex scene I've ever seen in a superhero movie...

Shortly after watching "Watchmen", I was finally able to see "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus". You may recall that this film has been at the center of contention here at the Obligatory Art Blog. It is Heath Ledger's final film, and we American fans (a built-in audience for this movie, mind you) almost didn't get to see it. The given reason for this is because the major studios who would have bought the rights to it as it was being shopped around at film festivals believed it to be "too weird". That I read that news during the same week where the number one movie in the country was some crazy jazz about giant robots who are also cars that want to blow up the sun felt like a giant rude gesture in the face of me and anyone else who likes nice things.
Ah, but thank goodness for Netflix, as arbitrary studio b.s. does not affect the DVD market too badly. I say to everyone reading this, put this movie in your queue. Even if you never actually watch "Dr. Parnassus", renting the movie is your vote for challenging, imaginative films.
RANDOM READER: "That's all very noble, Trish, but DID YOU LIKE THE MOVIE?"
Errr...
If I said that this film is, out of all of Terry Gilliam movies, possibly the single most Terry Gilliam-est, would that make sense?
HALF OF THE READERS: "Yeah, OK. I immediately get what I'd be getting into watching this movie and also what you thought of it."
THE OTHER HALF: "... ... ... Terry Who-in-the-what-now?"
OK, then. The Other Half of you might want to give it a shot anyway. I suggest following it up with "Lost in LaMancha", a documentary about Gilliam which is worth watching in it's own right. It's on Netflix instant watch as is, I just found out, all three seasons of "Avatar". So why aren't you watching that right now? Do it!

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Sketch of the Day!
Guess what's finally happening at my hummingbird feeder?!



EDIT: GO CELTICS OMG!!!

But there's one little loose end that deserves to be tied up, isn't there?

The DAC: The Bronze Age part two

Movie #41: "The Nightmare Before Christmas"
I'm fresh from a marathon of Christmas movies and I still feel guilty that I didn't do it during the original Chronological Animated Disney Canon posts.
Like "Roger Rabbit", you tend to forget just how amazing this movie really is. The DVD looks terrific, and I'm sure I saw sight gags that even Henry Selick wasn't aware of. Packed with terrific effects and wonderful music, this is a treasure. Plus everyone needs something a little weird during the holiday season.
The special features on the three-disc "Jack head" (not listed here, though it would certainly fit) are great fun to watch too, though they skip over one of the more interesting things about this movie: back when "Nightmare" first arrived in theaters, Disney had the damndest time figuring out how to sell it. It was actually originally released under their Touchstone banner. Toys were produced very briefly and quickly disappeared from Disney Store shelves. Fans had to wait for almost a decade before Disney woke up to the movie's cult hit status... and now they're marketing the hell out of it. And normally this would not make me sad (my Christmas decorations are sorely lacking in Halloweentown residents) but Disney seems to be marketing "Nightmare" memorabilia to a very specific demographic. That's why I say this year we steal this fandom back from the whining Emo sissypants Hot Topic.

Merry Christmas to all! For more posts in this ongoing series, go here, or click the Chronological Disney Animated Canon tag below.

Something I posted after watching "The Land Before Time" for the first time in a while...

Originally posted at LaGremlin Land on 1/19/07.

You watch one movie enough times and it becomes a part of you. The millionth time was the charm for me and "Land Before Time" and here are some thoughts I had watching it recently:

* - Where are the "L.B.T." fan-websites?
I went out looking for some and came up empty-handed, so I guess I'm filling the niche with this page. I did find some information but it really raised more questions than answers. This has a lot to do with my second thought.

* - Where's the Production Information?
You know, sometimes you wish you *didn't* know so much about a movie's production. "L.B.T." in particular has had a lot of trivia popping up in recent years (particularly on IMDB and animation history books).
Most tantalizing is the rumor of deleted scenes, ten full minutes of them. Watch the movie very carefully and you'll see three scenes where this footage was most likely cut from:
(1) Note that there's no break between Sharptooth's first attack and the Earthquake sequence. Very awkward. I've seen a lot of evidence to suggest that most of the footage was cut out here.
(2) Between the scene where Littlefoot and Duckie meet Petrie and the scene where Cera encounters Sharptooth underground, there appears to be another awkward cut.
(3) I'm convinced that there was some major editing done in the finale. Note that Littlefoot makes it to the cliff overlooking the Great Valley *alone* and that none of the other characters are seen or heard at all. Then we see all the missing characters racing through the rock tunnel towards the Valley and then everyone *including Littlefoot with Petrie riding on his head* stops short on the cliff overlooking the Valley. Very strange.
(4) Miscellaneous weird edits: Listen carefully to the narrator in the scene where Cera gets put in her place at the end of the volcano sequence. Pronoun trouble! Also, there's obvious awkward overdubbing when Cera charges in to save the day at the end of the Sharptooth must die sequence ("Cera! You're back!").
What really frustrates me, and I know I'm not alone here, is that there's almost no chance we'll ever know the whole story here. There are only tantalizing little clues like the commercials (see the Links, below.) And that ties into my third thought.

* - Why do DVDs of Don Bluth movies suck?
My VHS has pretty much had it after eighteen years. However, I'm reluctant to buy the DVD because a little research reveals that they evidently used the same print from the VHS release without cleaning up the print at all or preserving the original aspect ratio. Worse, the few special features lend no insight into the original "Land Before Time" at all, and instead focus on the sequels. Speaking of…

* - THERE ARE NO SEQUELS!!!
There aren't! I can't hear you!
Seriously, with craptacular sequels ruining the reputation of the original, I maintain that "Land Before Time" is the animated world's "Halloween".

November 2008 is the twentieth anniversary of "Land Before Time". Who knows, maybe Universal will get a clue by then.
Though I doubt it…

Many, Many Related Links and Sources:
The Wikipedia Entry, IMDB.com Entry, and Rotten Tomatoes Entry are as good enough places as any to start. I suppose the Official Universal Studios Website is worth a look too (though, again, they are far more interested in promoting the sequels).
Here are two most curious finds. The video trailer and Pizza Hut commercial both feature a few quick scenes of animation that aren't in the film (for example, Duckie makes a face and Littlefoot says, "We'll always be together!") Were they made exclusively for the commercials? That seems like a terribly expensive thing to do for just a commercial. So, are they the last vestiges of the deleted scenes?
The book, The Animated Films of Don Bluth is long out of print. But this online version contains all of the original text (sadly, no illustrations). It has quite a lot of information about the production of "Land Before Time".
Lastly, here are links to the websites of artists who either worked on "The Land Before Time" or clearly had an influence on the look of the film:
Michel Gagne was a lead animator on "The Land Before Time" (not to mention several other great -and not so great- animated films). I recognized his style immediately when I saw his work in the wonderful Flight anthologies. His website is awesome with tons of sketches, and you'll even get to watch his jaw-dropping short film, "Prelude to Eden".
When I found a book of William Stout paintings, I knew he had to have been an "L.B.T." production artist too - but his name is nowhere to be seen in the credits. Still, many of the animals in "Land Before Time" look a LOT like his designs, and there even appear to be "shots" in the movie inspired by specific Stout paintings.
Finally, here's Don Bluth's Website! And… it's very strange. He has almost no information whatsoever about his movies! What gives? On the other hand, you get to watch two of the best scenes from "L.B.T." And you can even communicate with Mr. Bluth through a message board!
And although it's an entirely different movie, anyone reading this article will probably be most interested to know that the long-rumored Special Edition DVD of "The Secret of N.I.M.H." has been released. (With no promotion and a cover design that shows open hatred of the fandom; but it's still excellent.) This gives me some hope that maybe we'll see similar treatments for other Bluth films.
And finally, there's the Don Bluth TV Trope page and this item that popped up, by a happy coincidence, on Once Upon A Win.

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Hey, did you hear about that one giant company that bought that other giant company? (Some naughty words in that link.)

A Crazy Theory involving "G-Force" and Barlowe's Expedition

NOTE: The following is inspired and elaborated from a brief conversation I had under the Onion AV Club interview with Grant Morrison. (And incidentally, the Clubbers did a wonderful series of interviews with writers and illustrators leading up to Comic-Con International. Check 'em out. The Seth on Classic Illustrators feature is already becoming a bit notorious.)
There is a rumor I have heard among my fellow Wayne D. Barlowe fans. It holds that his dense, strange, beautiful, and wildly imaginative illustrated science-fiction novel Expedition was optioned as a film long, long ago. If you're familiar with the book, you know that this would be sort of like basing a film on a Peterson Field Guide.
(Which is, incidentally, a hilarious idea and I will offer myself as a creature design/concept artist Pro Bono to any filmmaker friends who feel themselves up to the challenge.)
The rumor goes on to say that, after years in development limbo and lots and lots of executive meddling (our favorite thing), Expedition finally arrived in theaters in the form of, err, this:



Now, on the one hand, I have never really seen any solid evidence to support this Expedition --> "Evolution" theory. The only real clues are a vague reference to the original script being a very dark, serious sci-fi film at IMDB.com, and some of the background creatures in the film (visible in the trailer at around the twenty and thirty second marks) who have a distinctly Barlowe-esque look.
But on the other, much larger hand (did I ever tell you I am actually a character in a Michel Gondry dream sequence?), I am cynical enough to believe that absolutely anything is possible in the magical world of adaptation decay. I am sure that we all know that illustrated books (especially picture books and comic books) are hit especially hard by adaptation decay. Three words: "L.X.G." (shudders...)
So how does this relate to "Not Another CGI Rodent Movie" "G-Force"? Well, a fellow at the aforementioned Onion AV Club by the handle of Penguin had a theory that, in light of the Expedition --> "Evolution" rumor, might just be possible. Here it is:
"G-Force" = Years in Development Limbo (Executive Meddling + Adaptation Decay) + We3

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Time for happier news: Do you like fantastic fiction? Are you a writer? Do you enjoy nice things? There are two big damn conventions you can attend this coming weekend! If you are in Montreal, you should attend WorldCon (coffee with Neil Gaiman!!!), and if you are in Chicago, you should go to Wizard World (the woman [!!??] who played Greedo will be there!) If you are crazy and live equidistant to Chicago and Montreal, why not try to hit up both?
Also, this...

So, about that "Last Airbender" teaser...

Here is the YouTube link for those who have not seen it. (And, as usual, the comments. Good God, the comments.)

The story so far: Once upon a time, there was a terrific animated series called "Avatar: the Last Airbender" (in America. It's known by other titles in other parts of the world where --this is true-- you can't say "Bender" on television. I wanna know how they deal with all the in-show dialogue. Or with "Futurama" and "The Breakfast Club" for that matter.) The series was one of the most critically acclaimed television series of the past five years, animated or otherwise, with excellent world-building, a compelling story, and -best of all- an astonishing attention to characterization and character development. (Sokka, Toph, and Iroh in particular are among my favorite characters ever, but I digress.) It gained that elusive thing that I suspect every animated series secretly hopes for: a very loyal and dedicated fan-following that crosses generational and cultural lines.

Unfortunately, the series was also controlled by a company that had no idea what they'd gotten their filthy meathooks on. Nickelodeon shuffled the series around it's schedule at a whim, split the final season into two seasons without any warning (Good God, can you imagine everyone tuning in for the next "American Idol" episode only to see a cartoon based upon "Barnyard"? And this goes on for a month with no explanation whatsoever? Why in the f*** were we supposed to put up with this B.S.? Sorry, I just opened up old wounds right there.), and has pretty much done everything in it's power to keep this series from gaining new fans. (OK, it isn't as bad as how Disney treats "Gargoyles" -- how the hell is a series going to gain new fans if it's only on at 3:30 in the God-damn morning?!? -- but still.)

Aside from all that, "Avatar" is an amazing series and you need to shut up and add it to your Netflix Queue right now. The second season is unreal.

So now this "Avatar" live-action film is on the way and so far fans have harped on M. Night Shyamalan's involvement, the improbability of condensing the story into a couple of hours, and, err, casting. (The last factor has become a bit of a touchy subject.) My reaction is simple, and it is basically the same as my reaction to any live-action adaptation of an animated series, particularly one I really really like:

Why?

Do we need a live-action "Avatar"? Really? Do we?

This is exactly the kind of series whose reputation among non-fans could be destroyed by a bad movie. (I've already read too many comments from people saying, "Well it'll keep the show's ten-year-old target audience occupied". AAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!)

Remember how they tried -twice- and failed -twice- to make an "X Files" movie that doesn't suck? And how it turned out to be nigh impossible to condense the series' storyline into a couple of hours? And the thing is, a lot of people who never watched "X Files" still know at least a little of the basic plot: Years and years ago, Mulder's sister vanished, he's been trying to solve the mystery all his life, and he strongly suspects she was kidnapped by aliens. And that's just off the top of my head. Now ask one of your best friends what the basic plot of "Avatar" is. Go on. You'll probably want to get something to hit yourself in the head with first.

Truth be told, a commenter over at Neon Dragon's blog said it so I don't have to:

"I lost my excitement when it went from 'It's gonna be animated!'... to 'It's gonna be live action!' And then I heard (about) the casting producer's 'open call' and how she said 'If you're Swedish...wear lederhosen! If you're Korean... wear a kimono!' and decided I didn't want to give these people my money..." - KayJKay

In conclusion, if Platypusbears are not involved, the whole damn thing will be a complete waste of everyone's time.

Great day for "Up"!

You know, some day Pixar is going to make a movie that totally sucks just to see what it feels like.

Fortunately, "Up" is not that movie. I just got back from the theater (regular format because 3D makes my visual cortex cry after a while) and here are my disjointed thoughts about "Up" and the whole experience:

* - The first twenty minutes made my eyes rain. I wasn't alone. You could hear a pin drop in this matinee full of seven-year-olds and their adults.

* - Hooray for Chuck Jones' obvious influence on Pete Docter! Note the shapes of the rocks during the chase sequences, Kevin's somewhat familiar character design, and the dead-on characterization of Dug. Speaking of...

* - Dug is not only one of the best characters ever, he's a triumph of animal characterization. I kept thinking of what James Gurney talks about in this blog post: the best animal characters are the ones allowed to be themselves.

* - And as a Miyazaki fangirl, I am obliged to go "yay" at the "Laputa: Castle in the Sky" shout-outs as well. Generally speaking, animated films about things that shouldn't be able to fly but do so anyway are awesome.

* - It's a little eerie how much I related to Carl more than any other character...

* - "The Princess and the Frog" trailer got a pretty enthusiastic reaction, which is good given that the other trailers included everything from "Shorties" to "G-Force" (but not, curiously, "Toy Story 3" or "Ponyo on a Cliff".) That gets my hope up.

* - RE: "Shorties". It amuses me to no end that Robert Rodriguez can go from "Sin City" to a crazy "What If" movie for little kids.

* - RE: "G-Force". If this "Not Another Talking Rodent Movie" outgrosses "Ponyo" and "Princess", I may have to say "f*** it" and start studying to be a dentist.

* - I'm a chick, so "Partly Cloudy", which I knew nothing about going in, made me go "SQUEEE!!!" Props to Pixar for seeing the cuteness in Knifefish.

* - As I said before, I'll talk about the Pixar Needs Women debacle later.

All told, "Up" is excellent, go see it.

Also, it is hilarious that Direct-To-Video/DVD companies are still doing stuff like this.

The DAC: The Dork Age (well, mostly) part two

#54: "Treasure Planet"
As far as I know, this is the last film so far that features animation by Glen Keane. Tellingly, Long John Silver is the most interesting character in the film; his growing relationship with Jim Hawkins is especially poignant. So it has that going for it. Which is nice.
The first hour or so of the movie, full of Wayne D. Barlowe-style creatures and giddy steampunk schizo-tech, is awesome and worthy of the best of the Bronze Age. The effects are amazing and the sheer imagination onscreen is inspiring. It's too damn bad that once the initial "Wee! Space Pirates!" glee wears off, this here movie gets really annoying really fast.
For one thing, this is a Disney movie that saddles it's young hero with three annoying comic-relief sidekicks. Of these, B.E.N. is easily the single most annoying Disney sidekick in the menagerie (finally, the Canon gets it's JarJar.) The cute, pink squishy thing comes a close second.
And, once again, if there's any doubt that we're stuck in a Dork Age, it will vanish when we are introduced to the character who communicates entirely with fart noises.
Seriously.
A character in a Disney film.
Who communicates entirely through farting.


#55: "Brother Bear"
Raise a pint to the Florida Studio. This is their last movie and, certainly, their finest hour.
This movie is gorgeous. So gorgeous. The story is incredibly moving, the characters are adorable (yay Terryl Whitlatch!) and the music is terrific (yay Bulgarian Women's Choir!) I'm glad to see that this has a growing cult following online. It's another movie that's high on my good underrated Disney movies list.
Honestly, if the story of Disney Feature Animation had a happier ending (as of right now), this film would have been the beginning of a second Bronze Age (or whatever metal comes next in this metaphor [E: Iron Age, according to Ovid]). Too bad it's their last traditionally animated film.

#56: "Home On The Range"
Repeat: "Brother Bear" is their last traditionally animated film.
Welcome to the deepest, darkest doldrums of the Dork Age. Remember way, way back when I said that if some of the shorts from the Anthology Films were feature-length I'd have to consider them flops? This is what one of those flops would have looked like. I fell asleep during this movie.
It's about cows for cryin' out loud! They're not even cute; none of the characters are visually appealing at all and it is really REALLY hard to mess up the cute factor in farm animals. These creatures are all weird sharp angles and pointy bits. You're afraid you'll cut yourself.
And did I mention the country music? I'm not a big fan. As in, I abhor it the way old people fail to understand the appeal of hip-hop.
I have to admit, if this was made way back in the early fifties and (let's just talk hypothetical here) Tex Avery was the director, I'd probably be praising it as a lost classic... And then I remember that a hypothetical Tex Avery feature would actually probably be really funny, so forget it.
You know, I really ought to be nice and watch this again, so that it has a fair fight. But isn't it enough to say "I fell asleep during 'Home on the Range'?" Especially considering that I have watched some *bad* movies here, and none of them bored me to sleep. Oi.
Rumor has it that the Disney executives, anxious to shut down the traditional studio and move entirely towards CGI, purposefully switched the release dates of this and "Brother Bear", then moved this release date to an overcrowded market, and basically made a sh**y movie on purpose to prove their point. So, did making their next film in CGI magically get their quality and audience back?

#57: "Chicken Little"
"Chicken Little" opens with a Disney studios logo that is very, very like the one used for PIXAR movies. Nice try, guys.
Because this is very clearly quite a few notches down the quality-o-meter from any PIXAR movie. Again, just because you CAN render with excruciating accuracy every single feather/hair/scale/whatever on your characters doesn't mean you SHOULD (just to get an idea of what I mean, head over to Google video and compare an earlier Geico Gekko commercial to one of the most recent ones. Poor little feller got slapped with the Uncanny Valley Stick.) Also, we're still in the Dork Age. Check out the whole "frozen pee" exchange.
But on the other hand, while this isn't a classic by any stretch of the imagination, I liked it a whole lot more than I expected to. It runs all over town with Furry Confusion based humor (we need more of this), and it's kind of cute. The music is pretty good, if the fact that it's all old songs doesn’t bother you too much. Not sure what's up with the hyper-dramatic Five for Fighting song about twenty minutes in though. Good thing one of my favorite songs ever is right after it.

#58: "Meet the Robinsons"
Rumor has it that, as of right now, this is our best indication of what direction Disney Animation will be going in now that John Lasseter is head of the company. (Long story.) You can really tell right from the studio logos in the opening!
It isn't perfect. The lead characters aren't *quite* likable enough and there's some lag in the story. However, it looks like they're going in the right direction.
Many of the supporting characters are very fun, especially Bowler Hat Guy. He is the most downright fun villain they've had in a long time. The story gets very sweet at times. William Joyce for the waffles!
And was that a W.E.D.-Way Peoplemover/Tomorrowland Transit Authority cameo?

#59: "Enchanted"
It speaks volumes the fact that I still had the songs from this movie in my head since the Oscars. The songs really are terrific, and the "That's How You Know" number is a sheer triumph.
Oddly, the rest of the movie didn't get me as jazzed up. I guess I was hoping for Disney to lighten up and make a seriously funny self-inflicted affectionate parody. "Enchanted" does have some funny moments but for the most part, it holds back too much. I guess it's the same problem "Hercules" had; you can't really parody the Princess line out of one side of your mouth while going crazy with marketing the Princesses out the other side. It is sweet, and it is a fun movie, and it is like a big prize at the end of this project (I got every single reference), but it's not really a laugh riot.

#60: "Bolt"
See, here I am at the end of an animated feature and once again, I'm wondering if it would have been more appealing to me if the producers had the guts to do the entire film in the same style as the closing credits.
Because once again, Disney is in it's "let's render every scale of skin on our characters' faces because we can!" mode. And here, it looked really distracting to me. I think it's because it's the first time human characters were subjected to it. They end up looking freakish and we're stuck with them until the animals finally take over. And it's too bad that this ruined the movie for me, because the story was actually kinda neat.But I came into this movie knowing full well the extreme, shall we say, birth trauma it suffered. I can tell you this. I don't know a single "Lilo and Stitch" fan, myself included, who isn't the least bit curious to see what "American Dog" would have been like.
(Incidentally, it seems there's a special edition DVD release of "The Black Cauldron" coming soon. Sure as heck never saw that coming.)

So... Perhaps I shall pick this thread up later? "The Princess and the Frog"? "TRON 2? "Rapunzel"?

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I'm done? I'm really done! For more posts in this ongoing series, go here, or click the Chronological Disney Animated Canon tag below.

The DAC: The Dork Age (well, mostly), part one

#47: "Mulan"
Now already I'm being unfair in dubbing this the Dork Age (but look at what's coming up). I am so glad I gave this movie another look. Very sweet and with truly gorgeous art direction, it's now one of my favorite underrated Disney movies.
Mulan herself deserves her own paragraph. She's easily the best Disney heroine since Belle in "Beauty and the Beast" (once again, dark-haired smart girls for the waffles). In fact, she's one of the best Disney heroines of all. Why in the world is she not a part of Disney's new Heroes line? Damn long-ingrained sexism.
It is well worth it to note that this is the first movie that was almost entirely finished at the Florida studio. (The supplemental materials cheekily note that the animators frequented Epcot's China pavilion for inspiration and "mental health breaks".) Note that most of the better and more interesting movies in this chapter all come from Florida. Man, I'm officially depressed by what happened to the studio.

#48: "Tarzan"
I promise you, I watched this movie earlier this morning. But I can't remember a thing about it except for a few sweet moments, an awesome prologue, gorgeous, gorgeous backgrounds thanks to the new Deep Canvas effects technology, and... and Rosie O'Donnell singing. This last item does not reflect well on the movie as a whole.

#49: "Dinosaur"
It all comes down to those damn lemurs, doesn't it?
If there was any doubt that we're now mired in Disney's Dork Age, it will vanish entirely at around the ten minute mark. This is where one of the monkeys is peed upon by baby Aladar (and we get to see dribbles of urine, so there is absolutely no question as to what happened. Whether dinosaurs could pee [a surprising number of animals don't produce liquid wastes] or whether babies are ever born with full bladders are both subjects I'm happy to know nothing about. But if neither is true, then the scene is just worse.) Did I mention that the only reason there are monkeys in this movie is because the executives thought we stupid primates in the audience wouldn't go and see a dinosaur movie unless there was something cute and furry for us to relate to? No, really.
I can't outdo Mr. Cranky's review, which absolutely nails everything worth complaining about in this movie. But I'll give it a try because in my opinion, "Dinosaur" gets the unhappy distinction of being Disney's Worst Animated Film. And when I call it the worst, I really mean it. Like I've said before, watching all these movies in order emphasizes just how incredible Disney's reputation has grown over the years. Seeing a crappy movie come out of them at this point is just embarrassing. And one must consider how much time and money was spent on their latest crop of movies. I don't think "Robin Hood" is the worst -though it's close- simply because it was so very obviously cheap. "Dinosaur", like "The Black Cauldron" before it, cost so much time and effort that it nearly sank the studio. That makes it much worse than a flop. Other studios have flops. "Dinosaur" is, as the kids say, an Epic Fail.
I can't remember who, but another review called this the Disney version of a Michael Bay movie and that nails it too: it is a ninety-minute long effects reel. The story is boring and a complete rip off both "Land Before Time" and "The Lion King" and every "Wah wah I don't fit in" Disney story ever told. The few original plot elements are absolutely ridiculous (we're supposed to buy the idea that a troop of bouncy tree-dwellers successfully raised a very large and heavy quadruped to adulthood?) And the characters are almost impressively unlikable and some of them are just downright ugly. Just because you *can* render every single scale of dry skin flaking off of a monkey's face doesn't mean you should.
I will say this: on DVD the movie looks and sounds very impressive. Here's the thing. You can have the most amazing animation, visual effects, music, and sound design ever to grace the eyes and ears of a mere Earthling, but if your story sucks and I don't give a pair of fetid dingo's kidneys about the characters, then you have made a bad movie. You FAIL. Simple as that.
This was the first movie to come out of the CGI and special effects studio called "The Secret Lab". Disney owned and operated this new studio and (well now this is thought-provoking) is rumored to have planned on using it exclusively if they found themselves in competition with PIXAR, who were reconsidering their distribution deal with the mouse. And who were kicking the Disney movies' butts at the box office because, you see, their scripts don't suck. This plan did not end well.

#50: "Fantasia 2000"
But how's this for a saving throw?
"Fantasia 2000" goes back to the kind of things Disney is deservedly known for: it's experimental, it's groundbreaking, it has downright amazing animation, and it makes you totally forget where you are for a while. This is easily the best Disney movie of the Aughts (Aughts? Nadas? Zilches? This decade needs a catchy nickname.) and is now my favorite under-appreciated Disney movie ever.
I have to get the bad stuff out of the way first. This movie took SIXTY YEARS to get into the theater and -here's the kicker- we almost never got to see it. You see, Walt Disney's original plan for "Fantasia" was for the film to be released every decade or so with entirely new sequences. While this is technically more like an "upgrade", it does mean that this is the only movie Disney himself ever wanted to have a sequel. And this plan didn't ever get off the ground until the early 90's. (That actually goes a long way in explaining why it feels a lot more like it belongs in the Bronze Age.)
My good old VHS copy has a lovely prologue hosted by Walt Disney's nephew Roy; totally awesome because this movie was Roy Disney's baby and he personally fought to have it made and released. He explains the legacy of the "Fantasia" films and gives a very moving overview of some especially revolutionary Disney features.
I like "Fantasia 2000" a hell of a lot more than the original "Fantasia". There. I said it. Not to knock on the original's animators (and it is an amazing movie) but this has a lot more "zip", it's funnier, and -thank goodness- it isn't so damn pretentious. (Remember back in the first post? "Fantasia". Serious. Business.) Someday, others will come to appreciate it as well. Right now, it just suffers a mean "Little Sister Complex", despite the fact that everything people complain about in this film can also be found in the original. Taking all the new material segment-by-segment:
"Symphony #5" - Trippy, man. But a little easier to take than the original's Obligatory Trippy Bit as it isn't as long and has a rudimentary story.
"Pines of Rome" - I forgot to *breathe*. This must have been unreal in IMAX. Re-release, please? Or at least another DVD release?
"Rhapsody in Blue" - A workout for later-Bronze Age animator Eric Goldberg and, rumor has it, originally a stand-alone short that rapidly mutated into "Fantasia 2000" (funnily enough, the same thing happened with "Sorcerer's Apprentice" in the original). It's very, very funny with truly gorgeous character animation of a quality we haven't seen since the heyday of the Bronze Age.
"Piano Concerto #2" - Oh, Bette Midler. Why the Dali hate? Anyway, I'm not sure if this was done by the Secret Lab. In any case, it's the nicest fully-CGI piece to come out of Disney Animation proper. The cell-shading gives it a unique look, lovely and storybook quality. (Of course, anyone surprised by the radically altered happy ending needs to watch more Disney movies.)
"Carnival of the Animals" - Very cute and funny, but way too short. Eric Goldberg headed this segment too.
"Pomp and Circumstance" - I won't get too crazy here. Donald > Mickey. Also, that blink-and-you-miss-it bit with Donald and the normal ducks is just about the greatest laugh-out-loud scene in any Disney movie ever. Bonus: Frank the Frilled Dragon is in it! ("Rescuers Down Under" director Hendel Butoy supervised much of "Fantasia 2000".) So is Donald's intimidating fighting stance!
"The Firebird" - Gorgeous. The Brizzi brothers, who directed this sequence, were rumored to have their own feature in the works. Whatever became of it? And what does the River Spirit have to do to be one of the Princesses? Or Heroes...?
I have to say, if we have to wait another sixty years for the next "Fantasia", I will be sorely p*ssed. The "Smashing Pumpkins" trick works here too.

#51: "The Emperor's New Groove"
A fun little movie that, sadly, almost nobody above the age of twelve remembers. Disney does well by movies set in South America, don't they? "Emperor" is upbeat, snappy, and a real treat. Major, major props to story contributor Mark Dindel. Disney could use a lot more of his kind of humor.
Now, although I was happily surprised by how much I liked this movie, I have to say this: don't you just wish Disney would let "The Sweatbox" out of the vaults?

#52: "Atlantis: The Lost Empire"
I forget who it was, but I like the reviewer who said that, "this is the kind of movie that opens with a quote from Plato and closes with a dedication to Jim Varney. And we all know what those movies are like, right?"
Fortunately, and even with it's flaws, "Atlantis" is now on my list of good underrated Disney movies. On DVD, it looks and sounds absolutely amazing. It moves very fast, and you have to love Mike Mignola, who inspired the film's production design. The story is very derivative of every adventure movie ever made, but it's still entertaining. It's fun to see Disney experiment with a movie that doesn't fall back on their old tropes, which were worn out at this point.
It is, to my knowledge, the only feature completed at the Disney animation studio that used to be in Europe. When it failed to make as much money as "The Lion King" had (85 million vs. 330 million; Disney has a very, very warped idea of what a flop is) the Paris studio was shut down. Class.
I am apparently obligated to point out the fact that this is possibly a totally accidental and not on purpose remake of "Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water". And to that I say, whatever. Look, I've never seen, nor even heard of "Nadia" until just now reading Wikipedia. If it's true, than yes it's very bad on Disney. But, honestly, and remember how this is coming out of a dedicated cheerleader for Anime, does anybody really care? (And let's not even get into the "Lion King"/"Kimba" thing.)
Anyway, "Atlantis" is great and I'm glad I gave it another chance. Now what does Kida have to do to be a part of the Princess line? (I will keep complaining until I am told to stop it.)

#53: "Lilo & Stitch"
Here's the last Disney animated feature I saw in theaters. It isn't one of my favorites, but it's a terrific movie nonetheless. I think I related a little too well to Lilo… You know, let's just leave it at that.
You tend to forget how emotional "Lilo and Stitch" is. Everyone remembers the twisted humor; and the movie is absolutely funny as hell. But there's a darkness there too: consider how every character in this movie is messed up somehow. And yet, they're likeable. Once again, all the emotional moments are deserved. Stitch's character arc is incredibly moving. His little "Ugly Duckling" scene at around the fifty-five minute mark is just about the single saddest Disney moment ever. (While it would have been wonderful to have Disney's "Ugly Duckling" short among the special features, at least we get the teaser trailers and they're hilarious.)
"Lilo and Stitch" was the brain child of Chris Sanders, who had mostly done character designs and storyboards. His is the kind of story that reminds me why, while I love Disney movies, it's the Disney company that I have an incredibly ambivalent relationship with. For heading the most popular of the recent Disney animated features, Disney recently rewarded Sanders by kicking him off of the production team of his planned next film "American Dog". Oh, and they also rewarded the Florida studio employees for making "Lilo and Stitch" by firing them all and shutting down the studio. Oh yeah. Totally makes sense.
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We're almost done! Next post: more disappointment and the latest Disney films at the time of writing. For more posts in this series, go here, or click the Chronological Disney Animated Canon tag below.

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Off-topic, I just finished "Wolf's Rain" (I love Netflix) and... those last four episodes. My God. (It's very dusty in here...)

And I'll probably have a longer post about this later but here's the teaser trailer to the already polarizing M. Night Shamalian live-action adaptation of "Avatar".

The DAC: The Bronze Age part two

Well, first off, it's been a while since I shared some art. It's because I was working so hard on my portrait of my "Pokemon Platinum" team. I finally finished it. Click for huge:

Have I mentioned how much I love my Wacom tablet? Anyway, Disney movies!

#40: "Aladdin"
I have to comment on the "Aladdin" teaser trailer that appears on my copy of "Beauty and the Beast". It doesn't say a WORD about Robin Williams. Instead, the clip promotes the animators (there's Glen Keane again) and the directors as the stars of the movie. Can you imagine? I hate to pick on Dreamworks again -they really are awful about this- but consider how "Flushed Away" lists the voice actors in the opening credits as if they ever appear on screen - or had anything to do with the film other than providing voices. And then look at the end credits for "Aladdin", which puts all the animators on equal-footing with the actors.
The roots of the "guess the celebrity voice-over" trend start here with "Aladdin". This is also the first Disney movie with of-the-moment cultural references as the jokes. With these unfortunate facts in mind, I was expecting I'd have a hard time watching the movie again.
Well, forget all that. "Aladdin" is the most downright fun movie of the Bronze Age; it doesn't feel dated at all, the characters are wonderful, it's bright and full of sight gags and parental bonuses. The action scenes are amazing as well; props to PIXAR! I had forgotten how much fun it is.
It's hard to say which movie in this set is the best. At this point, they're all the best!

#41: "The Nightmare Before Christmas" - Reviewed as a Loose End in 2009.

#42: "The Lion King"
If the Box Office Numbers count for anything, then this is the most popular of all Disney animated features. Being the most popular, of course, "Lion King" has gotten a lot of backlash through the years. Some of it isn't exactly unfounded; this is indeed when they started going a little crazy with the celebrity voices. It's especially distracting when they start singing - there's no way anybody could have thought that other guy sounded anything like Matthew Broderick. Some of it is a little nuts (my favorite is the "it's a big, long pro-neocon tract" theory). And then, of course, there's the "Sex in the clouds" thing. (How come we weren't more worried about the guy who spent so much time going through Disney movies looking for stuff like that?) With all this baggage, how does "The Lion King" hold up?
Very, very well. Sure, it's an epic, mythic masterpiece with fart jokes, but the prologue is easily the greatest piece of animation Disney has done since the tracking shot over the village in "Pinocchio". "I Just Can't Wait to be King" is a wonderful Mary Blair tribute, and all of the songs are terrific.
Unfortunately for Disney, this movie set a standard that they've never been able to top...

#43: "Pocahontas"
You see, this is right about where Disney started believing the hype. Ouch.
This has the dubious distinction of being the most disappointing and boring of the Bronze Age movies (less generous fans consider "Pocahontas" the start of the Dork Age). It was also the first movie I watched after my surgery. The painkiller they've got me on is a mild narcotic, so at least the stuff about the "Colors of the Wind" and the talking tree make some sense now.
Actually, no. They really don't. This is the kind of movie that turns a historical figure into a smelly hippie chick with amazing hair (woo dark-haired girls), and has such clearly drug-induced imagery as talking trees and Mel Gibson singing. The songs are actually pretty good and the production design takes many a cue from good old Mary Blair. But really, it's amazingly, embarrassingly boring.
It didn't help that "Toy Story" would arrive this same year…

#44: "James and the Giant Peach" - Reviewed as a Loose End in 2011.

#45: "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"
Now this is more like it. I'm one of the six or seven people who like this movie. But then, there you go: six or seven people.
I thought this was brilliant, especially coming right on the heels of "Pocahontas", which was engineered not to offend anyone. It may seem an odd book for Disney to adapt but, really, have you ever sat down and read any of their other source materials? ("Sword in the Stone", I'm looking at you again.) It is essentially a rock opera, one that acknowledges that everything is better with Latin chanting. The songs are amazing. Once again, it's emotional (the use of emotional color gets a workout here), but once again the emotion is well-earned.
There is one big flaw, however: whomever came up with the gargoyle comic relief characters really needs to sit and think about what they've done. I find them a little easier to take if you assume Quasimodo is hallucinating everything they do. Of course, that makes the movie even darker than it already is. Thankfully, the next movie's a light one.

#46: "Hercules"
Lighter than a feather, really. Disney fans debate when the Bronze Age turned into Disney's Dork Age. For me, personally, it was with this exact movie. Tellingly, "Hercules" was the last of these films I saw in a theater. It left the worst taste in my mouth, and I wouldn't see another Disney movie in a theater in earnest until "Lilo and Stitch" ("Dinosaur" couldn't count even if it wanted to - my fiends and I went to that movie purposely to make fun of it.)
"Hercules" isn't that bad, really. The songs are very good and it's nice to see the Pastoral Symphony scenes in "Fantasia" get knocked down a few pegs. I also like how they took the theory that the "Superman" mythos is based mostly on the tales of Hercules and run all over town with it.
On the other hand, the weird, heavily stylized characters (by Gerald Scarfe of all people) take a long time to warm up to. More importantly, this is the kind of movie where they have a joke about overenthusiastic self-promotion with Hercules' officially licensed sandals and fast food... And then I walked through the mall on your way out of the theater and saw those EXACT sandals and fast food toys for sale in reality. Talk about trying to have your cake and eat it too.

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Next post, the disappointing films of the late-'90s and 2000's. For more posts in this series, go here, or click the Chronological Disney Animated Canon tag below.

Some thoughts on "3-effin'-D!!!"

3.28.09 - 3-effin'-D!!!
Originally uploaded by Babbletrish
Click for big (and legible).

Now, I lurk in a lot of discussion boards (and post in... two or three of them). Every so often, you catch a moment of sheer brilliance. I was inspired to draw this parody of the "Monsters v. Aliens" poster after reading this exchange at FARK.com. Full comments and the related article can be read here:

Cold1s: "I love puppetry... Gesture and posture are the game here. Big Bird's bowed head after (his memorial performance of 'It's Not Easy Bein') Green' spoke volumes.
In an age of digital whatever-you-want-to-see-you-see, I hope true stage performances like puppets and Muppets come back."

Dokool: "I had similar thoughts when I saw the Wallace & Gromit link two rows below this one.
In an age where we're bored of CGI-based films because there's so many of them (imagine anyone taking you seriously if you were to predict that around when 'Toy Story' came out!), nobody even considers returning to the older methods. If you watch an average episode of the 'Muppet Show', or 'Fraggle Rock', or even 'Sesame Street', the level of the craft is astounding.
The fact that articles (and threads) like this even exist is testament to the fact that they connected with us in such a meaningful way that even 20 years later people remember it. I was only born in '85 but I remember all of my 'Sesame Street' and Muppet-related VHS tapes like I'd just watched them. Will they say the same about any of the stuff kids watch these days?"

Note that, although I think the "CGI vs. Hand-Drawn" debate is stupid as hell (so where do stop-motion, cut-paper, pixilation, and so on fit into the debate?), I have no problem with CGI films.

When their scripts don't suck. When I actually end up caring about their characters. When the people making the films do so with intelligence and heart and creativity, rather than an overall attitude of "Ooh CGI, shiny!!!".

Actually, why don't I just direct you to this, by way of Cartoon Brew (of course. And, yikes, they really all do that one eyebrow thing.)

As far as animation that does not suck goes, the Onion AV Club has posted a lovely review of "Spirited Away" (which you are not allowed to read another word of this blog unless you promise me you will add it to your Queue immediately). It's sparked a lively discussion as well.

Am I hearing Orioles already? Seems a little early given that the trees haven't leafed out yet.

The obligatory "ZOMG they actually made a _Watchmen_ movie and it actually came out within our lifetimes!?!" Post.

Happy Chuck Norris Day! As usual, art first. As always, click for the big version. This is Viserion from the "Song of Ice and Fire and Please Finish The Last Book Before my Dad Goes Bananas K Thnx" -um- trilogy. Meaning, of course, there's four of them. Like the earlier painting of Safira, he begs the question, I know this is a portrait of someone else's character, but is it still called fanart if (to my Dad's dismay incidentally) you tried to read the books and didn't like them?
Never mind that now. I really like the flatter look here. It's different.

Here Be Vague Spoilers! Also, rambling. Lots and lots of rambling.

Well.
I haven't seen the movie yet. Not at the time of writing anyway (last Friday). I've heard a lot of word-of-mouth of course. You probably have too, even if you never heard of the book before and really don't care one way or the other. It's been pretty inescapable.
And the thing is, honestly, I think I'd rather just read The Watchmen again. This'd be the fifth time, I think. I am sure there are still details I've missed on the previous go-rounds. This book is dense and intense and it still boggles me that a film actually exists now. (All that said, if my friends wanted to get a group together and see the movie, I wouldn't say "No".)
But the fact that I really have a craving to read the book actually worries me. I had that feeling before. I felt it strongest a couple of years ago when the "Golden Compass" movie came out. I went into the attic and read the whole trilogy in a couple of days - still one of the most intense reading experiences I've ever had. Thus, according to the reviews, I skipped seeing that most dreaded of film adaptations: the kind where the filmmakers just completely fail to get the book.
I realize that I'm starting to sound like One Of Those. The kind of fan that will b*tch about even the slightest little changes. ("Wahhh Wolverine is too tall WTF!") I'm not really One Of Those (usually), it's just that reading is SO important to me. Little changes irk me ("Prisoner of Azkaban" is easily the best "Harry Potter" movie, but would it have killed them to put in a quick line of dialogue to explain the significance of the deer?) But I can deal. It's big, "they just didn't get it" changes that stoke my Nerd Rage.
Let me put it this way: The fact that the long in development limbo "Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy" film wound up entering this world as a fun-for-the-whole-family Disney movie still makes me deeply sad in a way that's damn hard to put into words.
Mind you this applies mostly to movies where I read the book first. "Secret of N.I.M.H." is my favorite movie. (Um, I'm not One Of Those either. Ok, all my characters are animals, so technically I am -- but I'm not into the weird stuff!) It's the movie that made me want to learn how to draw and animate. But is it a good adaptation of Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of N.I.M.H.? Hell no! Likewise, Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" is a better, closer adaptation of Roald "Most Impossibly Hard Name to Have to Try and Spell" Dahl's original, printed page Charlie -- but "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" is a much better movie.
Really, my feelings on book-to-film adaptations are very ambiguous, even contradictory. But generally, if you alter the story ("Let's turn the whole epic 'Pheonix Saga' into a fourty minute long subplot in an already crammed movie!") or the characters (poor Deadpool) to the point where it's clear you didn't understand the source material at all, I will probably wind up hating your adaptation.

Which brings us, finally, to Squidgate.

The rumor making the rounds in Internet-land for the past few months is that the producers of the "Watchmen" movie have changed the ending. Somehow. Nobody seems to agree how. But it's different.
Note that the book's ending was one of the very few "shocking twist" endings that actually shocked me. You could have slapped me. It's heartbreaking and astonishing and ballsy and... damn. I'm not going to describe it. I don't want to ruin it for you. Suffice it to say, however, it is a horrifying atrocity in which a squid is involved (sort of).
Now I was going to go on an even longer ramble on how, if one of the rumored changes is true, it would completely alter the tone of the story at large. And, worse yet, it would also be a sad reminder of -really- how little executives think of us stupid viewers and what we can handle seeing onscreen. In a fantastic fiction film set in an alternate history crawling with costumed heroes and this one guy who can bend the forces of nature to his will. Yeah. >:(
This website beat me to it.
Wah. <:( Man, that was probably the worst post I've made so far. But I'd be remiss if I didn't include this perfect parody:

Hey I forgot Feederwatch Friday last week. As per usual, nothing interesting happened... but the birds are starting to sing...

Yet MORE DCAU thoughts and sad evidence that Warner Brothers doesn't care about its legacy.

Sad stuff first. I'm sure most of you dear readers have rented at least one DVD released by Warner Bros in the past few months, but in case you haven't, you've missed things like this:



I'm speechless. There's a "Casablanca" one too that's even more baffling/openly insulting.

Anyway, "Justice League Unlimited" season one! Good God, this series is amazing. I love, love, love how the series uses some of the more unusual and obscure characters; Question (how's this for an animation challenge?), Huntress, and Booster Gold are awesome and even Vibe, Gypsy, and the Wonder Twins get some love. Most of the episodes in this season involve a terrific story arc with an ending that makes your jaw hit the floor and stay there. "Epilogue" sticks in my craw a little, though I was warned that it would (spoilers galore in that link) and it is nonetheless a very nice episode even though it's kind of an odd one out. Really, I just cannot get over how good this series is. The fact that there's another whole season makes me giddy, but I don't really want it to end either, not least because this is the very last of the DCAU.
I could continue gushing for hours and hours but it's probably enough to say this: I feel sooooo bad for "Heroes"...

I also got around to watching "Kung Fu Panda" and it was..... the character designs were very nice. I loved the hell out of the prologue and I wish they'd had the courage to do the entire movie in that cel-shaded style. Otherwise, I just felt very "eh" about it. It's not a bad movie, the action sequences are quite good and there are some nice character moments. It just feels way too short. Also, it's strange to me that Dreamworks has gotten to the point where people are gushing over one of their movies because it doesn't have a pop-culture cross-reference every five minutes.
But what's especially strange to me is that so many people ask the question, "Do you like 'Kung Fu Panda' or 'WALL-E' better?" It might just be me but I find that issue kind of ridiculous; like the two movies have anything in common at all aside from the fact that they are animated. And you see this a lot. The "Best Animated Feature" Oscar category practically encourages it. Now, do people debate whether "Iron Man" was better than "Dark Knight"? (OK, they do, and while It's Just Some Random Guy makes it funny, it's still ridiculous.)
By the way, "WALL-E". It's hardly even debatable. And I liked both "Iron Man" and "Dark Knight" but for entirely different reasons.
On a much lighter note, if you haven't rented a Disney DVD in the past month or so, it means that you didn't get to see this truly amazing little slice of WTF:

I'd give anything within reason to know what Corbin Bleu's reaction to being asked to do the dubbing was. I also have to admit, as someone who grew up with such madness as "Kidd Video" and reruns of "H.R. Puffinstuff", that I am very happy that there are still filmmakers out there who are not afraid to subject little kids to some seriously trippy eesht.
My gosh, I almost forgot that it is also Feederwatch Friday!!! Eh... N.M.H. (People who are awesome recognize that acronym.) On Sunday, the ubiquitous house sparrows were spooked by a red-tail swooping overhead. I have not seen the big flock of robins from last week. It snowed mid-week, which usually brings a crowd, but this was the slowest snow day I've seen so far.
P.S. - Dammit, leave Jessica alone. >:(