In Which I Post the Most 90's Thing I Have Found (so far)

As we exit the smoldering Chicxulub-sized crater that is 2016, I honestly just want to move right on and go right ahead and post my regularly scheduled posts as a cute, funny light in the dark.  To that end, here's something ridiculous I found in an old magazine:



There's a lot going on here.

"Forrest Gump" was a genuine phenomenon in the mid 1990's.  A lot of that had to do with the song score.  The soundtrack was one of the first CDs my mother owned and listened to on a regular basis (Side note: Soundtracks everyone's mom seemed to have a copy of in their car back in the day include "Forrest Gump", "The Bodyguard", and "Beaches".)  It was basically one-stop shopping for the greatest hits of the Baby Boomer era.

So here is an ad for a CD-ROM companion to that soundtrack.  You know how modern blu-ray discs have loads of special features?  This was like a blu-ray without the movie.  Also, you could only play it on your computer.  Also also, it looks like much of the content is now on the "Forrest Gump" 20'th anniversary blu-ray, which is nice.

So there we are.  A nice little post to kick the dust off the tires and get rolling again.  Next up, either drawings of dogs, drawings of frogs, or a review of Darren Naish's Dinosaur book.

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Sketch of the Day!

Live-Blogs Are Always a Good Idea! Trish Live-Blogs the 2012 Golden Globes!

Yes, because my other attempts at live-blogging things went over so very well. Unless something spectacular happens during the Arrival Special Thing, we'll get rolling at 8:00 PM EST. as always, please do not say anything about the spelling.

Until then, here's what I spent my day making:



This is based off a concept that's been sitting around in my imagination since I was a teenager. Yeah, I was a strange person back then. Like anything's changed.

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Award Commentary!

7:17 - I still can't get over this: The Golden Globe nominated "Gnomeo and Juliet".

7:22 - Evan Rachel Wood's dress should be in our upcoming Art Evolved gallery.

7:25 - Walt Disney Pictures presents "John Carter: Based on the Novel 'Nothing in the Title to Do With Princesses We Swear'"!

7:27 - RE: "Big Miracle" First thing I thought of was this, from the very ending of The Animated Films of Don Bluth, courtesy of John Cawley's website:

A SONG OF THE ICE WHALE - This tale... was based on the incident in the arctic when whales were caught in the ice. Countries around the world spent millions of dollars to free the whales before they would perish.

7:35: The imaginary freshmen college girl from 1998 inside Carson Daily is flipping out right now.

7:36: "Yeah, I'm in a genuinely scary-looking Gothic horror film. It's still probably not going to cause as many nightmares as that thing under the bench in 'Deathly Hallows part 2'." - D. Radcliff

7:39 - You don't have to introduce Kathryn McPhee to us, NBC. Please stop doing that.

7:46 - Funny how the prettiest animation goes to commercials about birth control and antidepressants.

7:48 - Well, and the Disney commercials. Derp.

8:06 - And we're off! I am glad I am DVR-ing this whole thing since I missed much of Ricky Gervais' speech. Which, by the way, if anything he says offends you, like deeply, please re-evaluate your life.

8:08 - Man, I need to get my butt in a theater and see "Hugo". And "The Muppets". And "The Artist". And "Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol". Yeesh, I think I may be part of the problem...

8:10 - Christopher Plummer for Best Supporting Actor! This happened while I was typing the above stuff! Now I remember why I hate Live-Blogging! I'm not gonna mention the winners again unless they do something interesting; you can look that up later.

8:13 - Laura Dern better mention "Jurassic Park" somehow...

8:21 - I maintain that the Globes are the most fun awards to watch. There are technical mistakes like crazy and EVERYONE IS FED LOTS OF WINE. (My poison of choice for tonight. Oh, hey Kate Winslet won something!)

8:38 - If you are surprised that "Game of Thrones" didn't win, welcome to being a fantastic fiction fan, kid. It never gets any easier.

8:45 - Adam your music is bad and you should feel bad! Seriously, I cannot wait to only have to hear Maroon 5 on "Back to the Zilches Friday Night".

8:47 - Even Leo thinks "The Artist"'s composer is the cutest thing.

8:48 - Seriously, I can't let it go: THE GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATED "GNOMEO AND JULIET"!?!

8:50 - And as a nice anticlimax of sorts, Madonna won. Have no idea for what movie, though.

8:51 - Wait... wait, so Madonna MADE a movie?!? Well, on behalf of every humoridian from the era of "Shanghai Surprise" and other not-good movies involving Madonna, I say (ahem) HOLY SH*T, AN AWARD-WINNING MADONNA MOVIE!?!

9:00 - Well, thanks, Seth, you just made things way more awkward than they were before. Also, "My Week With Marilyn" is a comedy.

9:10 - Thanks to the Magic of DVR, I can not miss whatever it is that I just missed right now!

9:12 -
(But is it me or did the announcer seriously mispronounce the name of the show and the character?)

9:16 - Congrats, editor, on making "Moneyball" look interesting. Now brace yourselves, here comes the introduction for Animated Film...

9:18 - And the Motion-Captured TinTin for the WinWin. How badly do you think the guys at Cartoon Brew are crapping themselves right now?

9:23 - D'oh, forgot I could fast-forward the commercials!

9:27 - OK, that was adorable.

9:27 - Woah, actors from genre shows are winning stuff tonight! Young fantastic fiction fans, enjoy this.

9:29 - Surreal IRL Discussion of the Night (so far): My dad trying to convince me that when the announcer said that Jessica Lange won a Golden Globe for "King Kong", they actually did mean the Dino DeLaurentas 1970's monstrosity. When I am Queen, I will perform an Inception on everyone so that when they are about to whine about how they hate the Peter Jackson version, the shower scene from 70s!King Kong plays on an endless loop in their heads.

9:31 - Oh shizz, Madonna just Goth-served Ricky!

9:39 - WAAAAAY-after-the-fact cherring over Clair Danes winning for "My So-Called Life". I need to revisit that series.

9:40 - I just realized that I should have based Victoria the Deinonychus Angel's... "wings"... after Madonna's...

9:41 - So now that "Bridesmaids" exists, can we stop seeing everyone in Hollywood being so surprised when it turns out that women like to go to movies with more than three female lead characters? Because I swear I started seeing this as a kid when "Waiting to Exhale" was in theaters and it should have ended there.

9:47 - Confession: Speaking of movies with more than three female lead characters. I have not seen "The Help" in it's entirety. I have only seen the sh*t pie scene. That was enough for me.

9:55 - And now, many kind words about Morgan Freeman. I've nothing sarcastic to say about this.

10:03 - Incidentally, "RED" is a pretty damn good movie if you've missed it.

10:04 - Also, you can tell if a new acquaintance is worth a damn if they start weeping openly if you show them a clip from "March of the Penguins". If they don't, forget 'em.

10:10 - Have to admit, "John Carter" looks pretty badass. I'm actually rooting for it not to bomb.

10:13 - Out-loud "D'aaaaaaw"-ing at Scorscese's win, Leo's reaction, and the well-deserved Brian Selznic shout-out.

10:17 - Pretty sure at this point that the only people who'd classify "Glee" as a comedy are people who have never watched an entire season of the show.

10:24 - Disconcerting Phrase of the Night: "From the UPCOMING film, 'Total Recall'!"

10:36 - Repeat: this is why this is the Best Awards Show.

10:38 - Every endangered species of bird just went "what" at Merryl's mixed metaphor. And Merryl's Mixed Metaphor is a good name for a band.

10:40 - Calling it now: "the Artist" is going to be this year's "The King's Speech". But awww, Uggie!

11:00 - Just realized that "Tree of Life" was nominated for nothing at all. Huh.

Princess Mia meets Carlos the Dwarf - the 2011 Oscars Live Blog!

Oh, why not. Oscar night comes but once a year and I live-blogged the male-equivalent television event after all.

So here's how this is (hopefully) going to work. I will try to start after 6:15 PM EST, which is about the time the award coverage begins locally. I will make no predictions. I am not even that emotionally invested as my favorite movies have no chance whatsoever of winning anything big (for example, Best Picture is essentially a race between "Social Network" and "King's Speech"). I will merely take the awards as they come and make comments that you will hopefully find hilarious.

6:33 - Our local ABC affiliate is airing a fluff piece about a local Oscar party that I can't really badmouth because it is run by the Ellie Fund. Aww.
There are also a few reports from the red carpet and, my God, it's been ten years, please LET BJORK'S SWAN DRESS GO ALREADY!!! (Or, more to the point, unless you can name one Bjork song, stop picking on Bjork for being Bjork.)

6:52 - Yeah, NMH. More H. R. Fluffinstuff about movies set in Boston. Woo.

7:07 - OK, here we go. Aw, I'm rooting for Hailee Steinfeld since she's genuinely appreciative and excited to be there.

7:20 - D'aww, the story of the children's chorus.

7:24 - Ah, we have ads for upcoming movies to discuss. "Limitless" looks kinda nifty... and then it pulled the "we only use blah percent of our brain" cliche. Dammit.

7:29 - OK, between the "mom-inees", the children's chorus, and some other things, this is going to be a very "Aww"-some Oscar night.

7:47 - "Red Riding Hood" = wut

7:57 - "Source Code" looks a little dull and confusing in it's ad, but it's got Jake G. in it and it's by Duncan Jones. "Moon" was my favorite surprise last year, and critics loved it. So... why isn't the commercial mentioning this at all?

8:20 - Somebody tell me how "The Adjustment Bureau" is different from "Dark City".

8:23 - And here's your first notable instance (that I saw) of Mood Whiplash tonight! (Tom Hanks' "Philadelphia" acceptance speech vs. Roberto Begnini's... whatever you want to call that.)

8:30 - It's time it's time!

8:33 - Huh... this is Mtv-ish. I like it though.

8:38 - That was fun! I kinda wanted to see what they'd do with "Toy Story 3" though.

8:41 - Mark's strained smile = priceless.

8:42 - So the much-hyped virtual set is... nice.

8:43 - LEO WAS ROBBED! XD

8:45 - Alright, I'll watch "Alice in Wonderland" already. The art directors were very sweet.

8:47 - Woo Wally Pfister! Also Christopher Nolan's strained smile = saddening.

8:57 - LEO WON!!! (Thank you, I'm here all night.)
Also, essays will be written about Michael Douglas' presentation. Long, long, long ones.

9:02 - Oh, Justin, you so crazy.
Also, you don't know the definition of animation do you?
And we have our first potential running gag, care of Michael Douglas.

9:04 - "The Lost Thing" won! I'm so happy!!! (Seriously watch it. It will make a rainbow in your heart.)

9:05 - And as happy as I am that "Toy Story 3" was nominated, imagine if there were five nominees. Stupid weird Academy rules.

9:14 - I feel we're going to be hearing this over-orchestrated version of the spare, eerie "Social Network" score a lot tonight.

9:18 - And we are going to hear the "King's Speech" music a lot too. The question is, WHICH MUSIC WILL WE HEAR MORE!?!

9:28 - Yay Denmark!

9:32 - Yay! My other website's mascot won! (Honestly, I'm happy. It's been a long, long, long road.)

9:38 - Ugh, the president of the Academy. Here we go...

9:40 - And that was surprisingly painless.

9:41 - Nice, subtle "Fantasia" tribute here.

9:44 - I live in a world where Trent Reznor has an Oscar. This is awesome.

9:47 - Methinks "Inception" will sweep the technical awards.

9:49 - I'm right so far!
Yeah, so why the hell isn't Christopher Nolan nominated for best director again? Or does the Academy just not like him?

9:56 - Don't eff with Rick Baker. He is a legend. The nominees were a little offbeat, but it really wasn't a contest.

9:59 - I only wish there was an award for creature design. *sigh*

10:02 - Thank you for reminding me how I am so Emo for movie songs.

10:13 - Very nice, Jake. That'll show everyone who treats the shorts categories as a bathroom break.

10:17 - Ah jeez, Autotune? Really?
Also, I am a fan of the guy who directed "God of Love".

10:20 - Personal surreal experience of the night: explaining who Banksy is to mom.

10:21 - A-n-d potentially awesome Oscar moment averted. Also, I wanted "Exit Through the Gift Shop" to win. Wah.

10:31 - The Bob Hope tribute was cute, but I kinda wish they'd picked a movie to represent special effects... somehow...
And "Inception" wins! Practical effects for the waffles!
Also, Jude and Robert are so much fun together that I wondered why they'd never done a movie together. Then I remembered they did...

10:35 - Aww, Dave Fincher's editors.

10:41 - KITTY!!! OMG, IT'S SO FLUFFY! WANT!
Ahem.

10:44 - "If I Rise" = Awesome. Every other nominated song = Meh.
But, OK, Randy Newman's fine too.

10:50 - I didn't write anything about the Best Buy ad with Ozzy Osborn and Justin Bieber during the Superbowl because it's just... sad.
Speaking of, here comes the In Memorium part...

10:57 - And thank you cheerful JC Penny and People Magazine ad for the mood whiplash. (But then, what could you air after that?)

11:01 - Home stretch everyone!

11:03 - (Pouts in sympathy for David Fincher...)
Err, I mean congrats to the man who helped my hometown's tourism a lot!

11:15 - I was just saying that I will be astonished if "Black Swan" went home with nothing. Congrats, Natalie!

11:25 - Next movie idea for Colin Firth: "The King's Gallstones". Seriously, aww.

11:32 - "And 'Crash'!"

11:36 - OMG "King's Speech" or "Social Network"?!?
And Steven answered a second after I hit "Publish". Congrats "King's Speech". Nice montage too.

Good night all, may you all get to your homes or other destinations safely, may your speeches never be cut off, and may your dreams be sweet.
D'aww, the little kids are singin'.

Podcast-Palooza!

NOTE: I had to bash this entry out quickly because I was headed to a skiing trip over this past long weekend and was pretty sure I'd feel like crap warmed over after I got back home. But I also thought that I would somehow still be able to update this post before it went live. That... didn't happen. Sorry for the slapdashy nature.

There has been a lot of talk about podcasts in the Art Evolved community lately. So today I will (finally) share a few of my favorites. Some folks like to listen to music to help them not go insane while drawing and painting, others like to listen to people talk about interesting stuff. I switch back and forth depending on the situation, but for the most part podcasts are the thing for me. I can easily divide them in three categories.

ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT

IFC News Podcast - It is with a heavy heart that I have to say that this show has just gone extinct. Fortunately, it may return in a different format and in the meantime, what an opportunity to do an archive binge! They have excellent episodes that focus on one particular filmmaker (ie, Pixar, Danny Boyle, Christopher Nolan, ect.), or one, often overlooked aspect of movies (trailers and marketing, defending "splatter movies" and their right to exist,and the digital enhancement of Megan Fox's face in "Jonah Hex" [really]).

The /Filmcast - By far, my favorite movie podcast (and there are a lot of those out there). The hosts are fun and the show is Boston-based, so the show gets considerable Locality Points.
This is the kind of show that will actually invite infamous critic Armond "It's Popular So It Sucks" White on to defend himself. And, oh my, it covers two episodes and it's something to listen to...

SCIENCE

Science... Sort Of! - I've tried out a lot of science podcasts, but I think I was spoiled in listening to this one first. No other one has been as much fun to listen to. Also, the Brachiolope Gallery needs MOER BRACHIOLOPES! You can help by sending them more!

SciFi Saturday Night - Whereas "Science... Sort Of!" is a mostly factual podcast that talks abotu pop culture a little bit, this is sort of the opposite. The crew is very friendly and a joy to meet with every Boston Comicon. Yes, this podcast gets Locality Points as well.

INDIVIDUAL EPISODES

Billy West is a name (or, perhaps more accurately, a voice) familiar to every animation fan, and The Nerdist has a fantastic interview with him. Hear the voice of Stimpy get downright philosophical!

Maurice LaMarche is another beloved voice actor and he does a fantastic interview at Battleship Pretension. He talks a bit more about voice acting and animation.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Meet David Orr episode of Meet the Skeptics. He mostly talks about subjects that will be familiar to anyone who has followed "Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs", but it's still a fun listen.

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Art of the Day!

Oh, hey, a unicorn!

The weird, wonderful world of Polish movie posters.

(This one's a little slapdash because I was -horrors- Away from the Internet for a few days and had to get this ready to post in a hurry.)

So FARK.com recently linked to this news article, which in turn linked to this website, a online shop providing original movie promotional art from Poland. The story goes something like this: for about fifty years, during the communist era, Polish movie theaters were not able to use the official movie posters or other promotional art from the studios. So they went ahead and created their own.

But never mind the history of the posters or the politics behind the scenes. These posters are beautiful, and the website give you a fantastic array of almost-forgotten outsider art. They run from the surreal, to the whimsical, to the "dang, this movie actually looks watchable", to "here comes nightmares", to "what the hell freaked-out movie did you watch, crazy poster painter guy?"

Man, and here I was thinking it was just some interchangeable '80's buddy action-comedy movie. I think I need to see it now.

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Sketch of the day!
Birds are cool, here are some!

Random thoughts on recently seen fantastic (or not) movies

Just starting with a handy reminder that it's Pumpkinhead and Cocoa Cats season. If you are a Beer Snob and you also enjoy Peeps, good luck finding these.

Coraline - Funny story. Right before I was about to settle down and watch "Coraline", some friends called and asked if I wanted to go see "The Orphan" with them. I declined. I dislike horror movies. They returned and we shared opinions of the films we'd seen.
Turns out that "The Orphan" did not contain anything half as creepy as "Coraline".
"Coraline" is an amazing film, especially from a technical standpoint. (Stay tuned after the credits to see a behind-the-scenes look at one of the cleverest effects.) It is definitely worth watching. During the day. With all the lights on.
Because, you see, Neil Gaiman wrote this story after he discovered a direct mainline to every child's (hell, every person's) creepiest and most Freudian anxieties. (And by "Freudian anxieties", I don't mean "the whole thing is about sex" [which isn't even really what Freud was all about anyway], I mean "I had to read Bruno Bettelhelm's The Uses Of Enchantment in Psych 101 and I can't UN-read it".) In a decade or so, expect to hear the kids whose unsuspecting parents rented this for them saying to each other, "Remember 'Coraline'? Holy s**t, that movie messed with my head as a kid!" (See also my generation's "Return to OZ", "The Mouse and his Child", "Watership Down", and so on and so forth. Mind you, I'm not saying it's a bad thing for a kid to get freaked out by a movie...)

Night Watch / Day Watch - A pleasantly confusing dark fantasy film in two parts. It goes in some refreshingly strange directions. The second film is actually better than the first and is that rare sequel that actually rewards you for paying close attention to the first film. I highly recommend it...
But ye gods, that ending. :(
SPOILER TIME I'm not really cool with long movies that end with the hero going "I wish none of this had ever happened." And then they cut back in time to the beginning where the events of the story were set in motion, only this time they don't and the characters just go home or something instead of on the adventure. So, in short, the entire movie didn't happen.
That's an acceptable ending to, say, a twenty minute episode of a Disney Afternoon series. It's a giant middle finger in my face when it's used to conclude a four-hour-long fantasy saga that I might have been little more emotionally invested in.

Blade Runner: the Final Cut - Every few years or so, you need to watch an older movie to remind yourself how awesome it is, and this new director's cut of "Blade Runner" is the perfect excuse. This is a gorgeous film and if you have somehow never seen it, you've got to go add it to your queue immediately. It's astonishing how well this movie has aged; it's twenty-seven years old and it looks better than some movies made last year. The city in which "Blade Runner" is set is still one of the best fictional cities ever created and I'm fairly certain it was all created with practical effects. It make a huge difference when things that cannot exist in reality occupy physical space. (Yes, I know how weird this sounds coming out of an animator. Once again, I do not dislike CGI. When it's used intelligently and not with and attitude of "ooh shiny, we're using CGI!")
The script is fabulous as well, but this was the first time it struck me how deeply depressing the theme of this movie is. (Sometimes third time's a charm when it comes to finding a work of fiction's Big Theme.) More observant viewers have probably noticed this before, but this was the first time I realized that "Blade Runner" is all about death. More specifically it's about how utterly horrifying it is to be a human, because it means that you're terribly aware of your ultimate demise. Heavy stuff to have in my head right before bedtime after two glasses of White Zinfandel. Anyway, "Blade Runner". Still one of the best fantastic fiction films ever made.

Dark City - It doesn't look like it from here, but I actually gave this and "Blade Runner" a lot more "room". Once again, great fantastic fiction film, great-looking fantasy city for a setting, smart, imaginative story - and another depressing theme.
This time, it's another reason why it's utterly horrifying to be a human: the unreliability of memory. You may remember that awesome place you spent your early childhood with crystal clarity, but what if you go back there and it's not there anymore? How can you ever convince people it was ever there in the first place? And as you get older, how can you form any meaningful new memories at all if everything and everyone seems to change so fast? And if you can't trust your memory, can you ever really trust yourself?
Now, "Blade Runner" dealt with this idea a little as well - in one particularly sad scene and not much else after this. "Memento", another film I adore, dealt with this very extensively. But "Dark City" takes this in a very unusual direction, and if you haven't seen this film yet, go for the director's cut. It lets the story unfold on it's own. The theatrical version (stop me if you think that you've heard this one before) had an opening narration that just explained the whole mystery right up front so the audience wouldn't be scared or confused. 

The Fall - I had no idea what this was about and was pleasantly surprised. The fantasy sequences are very well done and, refreshingly, consist almost entirely of practical effects. The framing story is actually done very well. (Personally, I think the "amazing fantasy adventure is actually just a story being told to/read by some kid" is one of the laziest storytelling tropes of all. If your movie isn't "The Princess Bride" [which basically parodies the concept] or "The Neverending Story" [which gets downright meta with it], don't bother.) It helps that the little girl character is a genuine honest-to-goodness little girl. Everything's new to her; she asks questions about things that adults wouldn't even worry about and the concept of personal space is as alien to her as the concept of personal property. It's incredible how much of a difference this makes.
Incidentally, while this film is by no means okay for young children, it is rated R in America for reasons I can't fathom.

The Bear - I was vaguely reminded of this film by "The Fall"; both films contain nightmares that remind us that stop-motion animation can be the creepiest film technique and both films just step back and let their characters act natural. In "The Fall", we finally get a little kid who acts like an actual little kid. In "The Bear", we have animal characters who act like genuine animals.
I hadn't seen this movie since I was very young and I only remembered being vaguely creeped out by it. The dream sequences notwithstanding, I think I understand why: the bears don't talk. There isn't even a narrator. There's no reassuring human voice calmly putting the animals' behavior in terms we can understand. There's hardly even any music. The film feels practically like a documentary rather than the fictional drama it is and the effect is amazing. It's a stunningly beautiful film and really demands a cleaned-up DVD release.
Incidentally, this film is rated G for reasons I can't fathom. Weird.

Now, of all the rescued LaGremlinLand articles, the following has been postponed and rescheduled the most. It's probably the one I feel the most "meh" about:
Never Mind "Another Brick in the Wall-E", Here's "Little Davey in Slumberland"
(Modified from a feature originally posted at LaGremlin Land on 6/4/02.)

This is pretty awesome for something I stumbled upon by accident in college. (As with all former LaGremlin writings, no drugs were involved. Except coffee. Lots of it.) While this isn't going to be the next "Dark Side of OZ", it might at least be the next "Siamese Fantasia". That is to say, we're gonna talk movie/CD syncs.
What You Need: The CD "Before These Crowded Streets"; the movie "Little Nemo in Slumberland" (sadly, it is very hard to find a good copy these days, but every video store used to have one); a CD player that lets you repeat a CD without screwing up. (I'm a traditionalist here. I'm sure a Magical Tiny Machine That Holds Music would work too.)

Plot Summary: (well, you aren't going to be able to hear the dialogue) For whatever reason, this movie is fairly obscure unless you are a Miyazaki completest. I'm a "Nemo" cheerleader. There really are some fantastic visuals in this movie. The animators managed to get the look of McCay's illustrations spot on. This Total Media Bridge review sells the film very well; I'd thought I was the only one who liked it.
Nemo is a perfectly normal kid by day, but every night he has very strange dreams. After the circus arrives in his hometown, his dreams become more intense until finally the people in his dreams invite him to visit their world, Slumberland. There, Nemo must aid King Morpheus in protecting Slumberland from the Nightmare Demons.
Goaded by a nasty little green gnome/clown/thing named Flip, Nemo learns that Morpheus has a demon imprisoned beneath Slumberland. They accidentally allow it to get loose and kidnap the King. Now Nemo and his friends must journey to Nightmare and save him.

How to Do the Sync: Set the CD to repeat and pause it. Start the video. The Tokyo Movie Shin... Shaw... Somethingorother title card will appear. Un-pause the CD when the red "V" part of the "M" in the studio logo starts to fly offscreen. If you're doing it right, Nemo's room fades into focus when Dave begins to sing in "Pantala Naga Pampa". Enjoy.

So, about the *other* "Avatar" teaser.

"Avatar" as in the 3D animated movie that James Cameron has been working on since before you and I were born, unless it just feels that way. Not the dubiously necessary live-action adaptation of the well-loved recent animated series of the same title. Here's the trailer for you to watch before I share my thoughts:


OK? OK.
So I'm actually of two minds looking at this trailer. Let me explain.
The twelve-year-old in me was thinking, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Floating islands and spaceships and glowy blue catpeople riding dragons!!! DRAGONS!!!"
But the mean old lady in me was thinking, "Is it me or is the animation downright sh**ty when the alien guy starts talking? Why in the world is the guy who directed 'Aliens From the Deep' giving us a movie where the aliens look like weird humans*? And, aside from looking like 'Ferngully: the Spirits Within' and vaguely reminding me of this music video, what is this movie even about?"
Now with all that said, I still can confidently predict that the actual movie will probably kick all of our asses. Do you remember back in the day when everyone was SURE "Titanic" was going to tank?
(OK, so "Titanic" had The Power of Leo going for it, where "Avatar" seems to have only The Power of Catgirls, but still.)

* - I am watching this trailer on the day of the 100th anniversary of the discovery of the Burgess Shale fossils. I've read a lot of positive comments admiring how "REALLY alien" the glowy blue catpeople are. My friend Opabina would like a word with you.

In other news, why in the hell is this happening?!?

One of my problems with cartoon-based movies.

Thus far, we've seen a "G.I. Joe" movie and "Transformers 2: Rollin' on the Floor" "Michael Bay Learns How to Add and Subtract!" Both of these made an obscene amount of money despite the fact that they both strikingly resemble irony-free remakes of "Team America". Later on, we're going to be subjected to another damn "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie, as well as this little brain-tulip, which I saw a commercial for earlier and which inspired this post:

Never mind the insanely sh**ty CGI used on Scooby Doo here. Here's what irked me:
In twenty-five years of "Scooby Doo" reruns, the question of how Scooby and Shaggy met never once occurred to me.
Likewise, I never asked myself, "Gee, I wonder what Cobra Commander was like before he dedicated himself to supervillainry?" Or, "Why are the robots always dealing with kids named Witwicky?"
There's a decent discussion on this very subject in this article, but honestly, I'm just very bitter because the local theater has three screens each dedicated to "G.I. Joe" and "Transformers", yet they do not appear to know what a "District 9" or a "Ponyo" is. Wah.
By the way, were any of you at all aware that the stupid-looking dentist show on Nick-at-Night was produced by Michael Eisner? Cause I wasn't.

Great day for "Up"!

You know, some day Pixar is going to make a movie that totally sucks just to see what it feels like.

Fortunately, "Up" is not that movie. I just got back from the theater (regular format because 3D makes my visual cortex cry after a while) and here are my disjointed thoughts about "Up" and the whole experience:

* - The first twenty minutes made my eyes rain. I wasn't alone. You could hear a pin drop in this matinee full of seven-year-olds and their adults.

* - Hooray for Chuck Jones' obvious influence on Pete Docter! Note the shapes of the rocks during the chase sequences, Kevin's somewhat familiar character design, and the dead-on characterization of Dug. Speaking of...

* - Dug is not only one of the best characters ever, he's a triumph of animal characterization. I kept thinking of what James Gurney talks about in this blog post: the best animal characters are the ones allowed to be themselves.

* - And as a Miyazaki fangirl, I am obliged to go "yay" at the "Laputa: Castle in the Sky" shout-outs as well. Generally speaking, animated films about things that shouldn't be able to fly but do so anyway are awesome.

* - It's a little eerie how much I related to Carl more than any other character...

* - "The Princess and the Frog" trailer got a pretty enthusiastic reaction, which is good given that the other trailers included everything from "Shorties" to "G-Force" (but not, curiously, "Toy Story 3" or "Ponyo on a Cliff".) That gets my hope up.

* - RE: "Shorties". It amuses me to no end that Robert Rodriguez can go from "Sin City" to a crazy "What If" movie for little kids.

* - RE: "G-Force". If this "Not Another Talking Rodent Movie" outgrosses "Ponyo" and "Princess", I may have to say "f*** it" and start studying to be a dentist.

* - I'm a chick, so "Partly Cloudy", which I knew nothing about going in, made me go "SQUEEE!!!" Props to Pixar for seeing the cuteness in Knifefish.

* - As I said before, I'll talk about the Pixar Needs Women debacle later.

All told, "Up" is excellent, go see it.

Also, it is hilarious that Direct-To-Video/DVD companies are still doing stuff like this.

Let's Read _Fairy Dust and the Quest For the Egg_!

Before we get into this, here's some art:

I am trying to develop a better work ethic, therefore I am attempting to finish a new painting at least every Tuesday and Thursday.
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Let's be honest. The "Tinkerbell" movie (I'll eventually get to it) isn't half as interesting as all the "Tinkerbell" movie hoopla. Disney has been planning this Tinker-assault for years now.

One of the first Tinker-thingies to arrive in this world was a book entitled Fairy Dust and the Quest for the Egg, written by Gail Carson Levine. In it, we are introduced to Tinkerbell and her little Fairy friends who are (so I've heard) replaced by an entirely different set of Fairy friends in the movie. Huh.

Anyway, I am now going to read this book. Do read along with me, won't you? When you're done, please answer these semi-rhetorical

Discussion Questions!

1) In "Peter Pan" (not just Disney's film but the original James M. Barrie play), Tinkerbell was a mischievous, mood-swing prone, clingy, jealous girl who deeply resented the new arrivals in Neverland -- especially Wendy. Here, she's suddenly transformed into a sweet, friendly, one-Fairy welcoming committee who greets new Neverland arrivals, flits around the magical tree with the other Fairies, fixes broken cookware, and gets downright Emo rather than resentful when the subject of Wendy comes up. What does this imply about both Disney and society as a whole?

2) One of the new characters is a Fairy named Vidia. Now, Tinkerbell is of course a pretty blond, her BFF Rani is a pretty blond, and the heroine, Prilla, is a cute light-brunette. They all wear the stereotyped little foo-foo frilly Fairy dresses and smile all the time. Vidia, in marked contrast, is a sort of Goth-chick Fairy with very dark hair, and she is -come to think of it- as mischievous and feisty as Tinkerbell used to be. In this book, she is one of the heroes of the story, which would be a welcome change. But she is also the only really mean character; even Captain Hook isn't so nasty. I have heard that she later on turns out to be a villain, and in any case she is largely absent from more recent promotional materials. What does this indicate about Disney's legendary inability to deal with characters with anything more interesting than a "Lawful Good" (boyscout-like, to you non-geeks) alignment?

3)Every Never Land Fairy has a special power or "talent". They range from music to water-bending manipulation to keyhole design. There are also talents, like baking and animal, that have specialized subtalents as well, like cookie cutting and caterpillar herding. Now, aside from the exception that forms the plot of this book, every single Fairy knows what their talent is from the moment they arrive in Never Land. So what happens if a born Water Fairy decides he'd rather bake cookies?

4) Speaking of male Fairies. Here, they are called Sparrow-Men instead. Now, there isn't any way to word this question without it sounding very bad, but you KNOW Disney was desperate to avert this: doesn't the phrase "Sparrow Man" actually sound more gay than "Male Fairy"?

5) Early on, we are told that Never Land is an island that "moves". Later, we learn that Prilla mentally "jumps" from Never Land to different places (and times?) on the mainland. So, who is Prilla's Constant?

6) Rani is a Water Fairy who desperately longs to swim. Never Fairies can't swim because their wings get in the way. Eventually, Rani has her wings cut off so she can swim. Now, this is admittedly more of a heroic sacrifice than anything (she needed to ask the Mermaids for help), but is "you may have to mutilate yourself to do what you want" really a message little girls need to hear?

7) Why in the world is the Light Fairy named Fira on the cover illustration (upper right) if she isn't even mentioned once in the text?

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This is totally unrelated but I had to share it. Because - and this is damn scary - I really can't tell if it's a parody or for real. The caustic attitudes of the three adult campers seems to indicate a parody, but everything else, including the kids' dialogue, is absolutely authentic to the time period. I'm not kidding.

Remember that in the early 90's, people on television actually dressed like this. This is what high-paid television writers actually thought rap songs sounded like:

NOTE: Compare "Creating REM Lazar" and "Teen Witch".

Superbowl Commercials = Serious Business

Therefore, I shall now give my opinions of the various ads that entertained me (or not) during the game (which, being a chick, I wasn't all that emotionally invested in):

"G.I. Joe" trailer - Eh. Actually, I think I'll see if I can rent the "G.I. Joe" animated movie. I have a feeling it'll be better than this big live-action Hollywood version. Now, why would I think that?

"Transformers: Revenge of the Sith Fallen" trailer - Oh yeah.

Pepsi - You are not Bob Dylan, Will I. Am! Shrek is not Gumby! There is nothing about this ad that does not make me angry!

Budweiser - The horses in love one was very nice. The "fetch" game, not so much.

"Land of the Lost" trailer - It doesn't look that funny, but it's bound to be better than the 1991 revival. (I can't be the only one who remembers if. Observe.)

"Star Trek" trailer - It's enough to say that I'm getting excited about an odd-numbered "Star Trek" movie. And did Kirk just run into a smaller Clover?

"Up" trailer - It's Pixar and it involves a cranky old guy and the plateaus of South America. I am sold. But by the way, not one single Annie Award for "Wall-E"? Seriously?
Teleflora - Um... This flower delivery company knows that flowers are the reproductive parts of a plant, right? Because I do, and with that in mind, this commercial just looks wrong.

Cheetos - When did Chester Cheetah turn into a jerk-ass?

ZOMG 3-D COMMERCIALS WTF LOLERCOPTER!!!
OK, I was lacking in the 3-D glasses department so I have no idea if they were better with them, but the "Monsters V. Aliens" trailer didn't look terrible without them. The movie itself just doesn't look all that interesting to me though. And the So-Be ad after it started out cute, got confusing in the middle, and ended with some premium nightmare fuel.

"Heroes" - It's always fun to be reminded that the stars of "Heroes" are fans themselves, so I liked the playful football ad.

Nerf Swords - Every year, there is one commercial that stands out because it looks so out of place. I'm sure all the LARPers out there are excited about this. I do not doubt that there are LARPers who watch the Superbowl (most LARPers are male) it still seems odd.

"Some-Other-Verb-Besides-Escape To Witch Mountain" trailer - Yes, Disney is revisiting the Witch Mountain series for no good gorram reason. With the Rock. Yeah. (Writes a note to add the original "G.I. Joe" and "Escape to Witch Mountain" movies to her Netflix queue...) Oh, hey, remember how in the original, we didn't learn that the two kids were aliens until the very end? Yeah.

Coke - I loved the Coke bugs! Obviously, somebody liked their "Minuscule", but it was still so cute. Best of all, the insects were allowed to be cute on their own terms; they weren't humanized too much. (See the aforementioned SoBe commercial to see how even slight anthropomorphism of otherwise realistic CGI animals can go horribly, horribly wrong.)

Coke Zero - On the other hand, this "LOL, we'll pretend we're angry at ourselves for stealing our own recipe" ad campaign was not, is not, and never will be funny.

Hulu - It's nice that they're hosting all these ads but... WTF Alec Baldwin? Also, the mammalian brain is already of a fairly squishy consistency. I will invite the reader to accept, without questioning, why I know this.
(OK, think high school, anatomy class, and a dozen female students in their early teens being traumatized when the trailer for "Babe" began running the same week we started...)

Legal Seafood - At this point, we're getting into the local ads at the end of the game. Anyway, this ad features the sounds of Presidents slurping clam chowder. This is what the word "squick" means.

Stop N Shop - Nothing much to say here but, "Yay! They are using animated ads again!" (They had a cute and memorable one around 1989-ish. Sadly, YouTube has failed me.)

And those are about the only ads that made an impression on me. How about some cel-shading (click for big as usual):

Yet MORE DCAU thoughts and sad evidence that Warner Brothers doesn't care about its legacy.

Sad stuff first. I'm sure most of you dear readers have rented at least one DVD released by Warner Bros in the past few months, but in case you haven't, you've missed things like this:



I'm speechless. There's a "Casablanca" one too that's even more baffling/openly insulting.

Anyway, "Justice League Unlimited" season one! Good God, this series is amazing. I love, love, love how the series uses some of the more unusual and obscure characters; Question (how's this for an animation challenge?), Huntress, and Booster Gold are awesome and even Vibe, Gypsy, and the Wonder Twins get some love. Most of the episodes in this season involve a terrific story arc with an ending that makes your jaw hit the floor and stay there. "Epilogue" sticks in my craw a little, though I was warned that it would (spoilers galore in that link) and it is nonetheless a very nice episode even though it's kind of an odd one out. Really, I just cannot get over how good this series is. The fact that there's another whole season makes me giddy, but I don't really want it to end either, not least because this is the very last of the DCAU.
I could continue gushing for hours and hours but it's probably enough to say this: I feel sooooo bad for "Heroes"...

I also got around to watching "Kung Fu Panda" and it was..... the character designs were very nice. I loved the hell out of the prologue and I wish they'd had the courage to do the entire movie in that cel-shaded style. Otherwise, I just felt very "eh" about it. It's not a bad movie, the action sequences are quite good and there are some nice character moments. It just feels way too short. Also, it's strange to me that Dreamworks has gotten to the point where people are gushing over one of their movies because it doesn't have a pop-culture cross-reference every five minutes.
But what's especially strange to me is that so many people ask the question, "Do you like 'Kung Fu Panda' or 'WALL-E' better?" It might just be me but I find that issue kind of ridiculous; like the two movies have anything in common at all aside from the fact that they are animated. And you see this a lot. The "Best Animated Feature" Oscar category practically encourages it. Now, do people debate whether "Iron Man" was better than "Dark Knight"? (OK, they do, and while It's Just Some Random Guy makes it funny, it's still ridiculous.)
By the way, "WALL-E". It's hardly even debatable. And I liked both "Iron Man" and "Dark Knight" but for entirely different reasons.
On a much lighter note, if you haven't rented a Disney DVD in the past month or so, it means that you didn't get to see this truly amazing little slice of WTF:

I'd give anything within reason to know what Corbin Bleu's reaction to being asked to do the dubbing was. I also have to admit, as someone who grew up with such madness as "Kidd Video" and reruns of "H.R. Puffinstuff", that I am very happy that there are still filmmakers out there who are not afraid to subject little kids to some seriously trippy eesht.
My gosh, I almost forgot that it is also Feederwatch Friday!!! Eh... N.M.H. (People who are awesome recognize that acronym.) On Sunday, the ubiquitous house sparrows were spooked by a red-tail swooping overhead. I have not seen the big flock of robins from last week. It snowed mid-week, which usually brings a crowd, but this was the slowest snow day I've seen so far.
P.S. - Dammit, leave Jessica alone. >:(

It is time to get *really* serious.

That is to say, it's time to tackle this thing right here:


I am, I will admit, intimidated as hell. But it's time. It isn't like the process is quick either; one can not simply "get a job" in this field. It's time to just shut up and get started.
Incidentally, I just found out about a companion book, The Artist's & Graphic Designer's Market. Does anyone have it and, if so, is it worth it / more up my alley in terms of getting the freelance illustrator career off the ground?
I also, just last night, finally did an archive binge on "Lackadaisy Cats" and... soooooo pretty...
I may actually have to start treating "Fun in the Backyard" seriously...

And while I hate to end on such a bummer, here is another Reasonable (you would hope) Proposal, based on the recent "Tom and Jerry" movie announcement. Dear Hollywood people. Please stop making feature films out of seven-minute cartoons. "Alvin and the Chipmunks" was a one time aberration (and even then, I only say that meaning it was a big hit; I'm not suggesting that it was any good).

Stop doing it. Please. Not everything needs to be a movie.
P.S. - That goes triple for children's books.