"Life is a Kumquat!" - Let's watch the Grand Opening of Walt Disney World!

You didn't think I'd head down to the 50'th Anniversary Celebration of Walt Disney World without sharing a vintage Disney Parks special did you?  Well strap in, because what better special to watch for the anniversary of Walt Disney World than the Grand Opening of Walt Disney World?

I love this.  It's not as insane as the Tenth Anniversary special (what could be?) but it is very close.  That running subplot about the campers is extremely special.  So is the catchy song about how, if you think you do not have to visit WDW because you've been to Disneyland, you are very wrong, because WDW has MORE!!!  We get extended looks at the Country Bears and the Hall of Presidents, and rare footage of the Mickey Mouse Review.  Arthur Fiedler conducts a huge marching band, Bob Hope gives a weird speech, Glen Campbell sings existential songs in the woods, and Julie Andrews sings and watches a good chunk of the Animated Canon!  All this and the amazing Vault Disney bumper!

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Art of the Day!

It's still Faebruary, so here's a portrait of the best Disney Fairy.

Roger Rabbit is Our Easter Bunny - Let's Watch the 1992 WDW Easter Parade!

I think it's fair to say that the good folks at Retro WDW.com helped save a very very weird holiday weekend by sharing this particularly good seasonal weird vintage Disney Parks special.



Highlights include:

* - The commercials!  The ads for Sea World ("Make contact!!!"), Kissimmee St. Cloud, and "Adventures in Wonderland" especially slammed a nostalgia button I didn't know I had.
* - Roger Rabbit as a walk-around character!
* - Never mind him, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as walk-around characters?!
* - Never mind them, the Sinclair family from "Dinosaurs" as walk-around characters?!?  I bet you can't guess what song they get to dance to!!! 😔
* - The Spring Break montage!  Possibly cut down from an entire Spring Break at Disney Parks television special I seem to remember and which in hindsight feels ill-conceived.
* - The fabulous finale and musical number!  I don't have enough gigantic frilly dresses in my life.
* - The "Fantasmic" preview.  All of it.  The whole thing.  This is worth watching the entire special for because it is bonkers.  And very definitely something made in the immediate wake of "Home Alone".  Trust me, you'll be able to tell.

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Art!

Random Colorful Dinosaurs

The Triumphant Return of Walter Fozbek!

Few things make me happier than getting to finally tie up a long-dangling loose end. 

You may recall that way WAY back in the summer of 2011, I wrote two long, weird posts about The Double Disappearance of Walter Fozbek by Steve Senn, a short, weird book that I mostly remembered for it's very short, very weird animated adaptation that aired as part of the anthology series "CBS Storybreak".  I strongly recommend reading those posts because there's a lot of information in them.  Like I said, this is a very weird book.  (You'll also get to enjoy some early-installment weirdness.  Who the hell is this person who actually enjoyed the taste of an IPA?  Certainly not I?)

As happy as I was to finally find the book, I still longed to watch the cartoon again.  I figured by now that it was lost to the ages, Lost Media if you will.  But it turns out that there's a small but dedicated contingent of YouTubers finding and uploading as many "CBS Storybreak" episodes as they can find.

And, miraculously, "The Double Disappearance of Walter Fozbek" is among them!  What a great way to kick off the new decade!  Here it is:



Goodness.

I remember practically every minute of this strange little cartoon. It's really close to the book, aside from a somewhat streamlined ending, "Flintstones"-ish prehistoric gags and all.  There's also a touch more existential angst.  Like, certainly "The Last Unicorn" this ain't.  But that scene where Walter (remember he's the only human in a world of anthropomorphic animals) is face-to-face with the fossil remains of another human (remember humans are extinct in this world); that kind of thing messes you up as a kid. 

Between the New Kids on the Block Christmas Special and "Walter Fozbek", this has been a very good time for “Yay I KNEW it was real!  And, now that I can finally watch it after 20-30 years, I completely understand why everyone looked so confused and slightly concerned when I tried to describe it to them.”

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Art! A cute pudgy Unicorn and her tiny Fairy friends to bless our 2020's.

Let's Revisit Dinosaur Pop Culture in 1993

We're finally finished with TV Guide's Summer 1993 Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue!  It's been a wild ride, hasn't it?

Now as we've seen over and over, the summer of 1993 was dominated by "Jurassic Park".  But lest we forget, there was another dinosaur who was damn near inescapable back then.  Now, normally, I'd say, let's not remember "Barney".  But this article is a lot more nuanced than I expected and worth a read.



But this next article, about the wider world of dinosaur pop culture in the early '90's, is far more exciting.  Goodness, just look at this double-page spread illustration!



This is pretty informative but I love how it's a time capsule of what was available to a dinosaur nut at the time and the general public opinion of "the ungainly beasts" (er?)  Also, that bit about the difference between the Triassic and Jurassic...




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Art of the Day!



Not a lot of dinosaurs in this sketch montage but loads of Fairies from "Legend of Zelda", "Final Fantasy" and others.

The Big Summer Kid's Movies of 1993!

Summer, 1993 was the summer of "Jurassic Park" and of other movies that aren't "Jurassic Park".   That's us looking back on it from 2016 with the benefit of hindsight.  And as TV Guide's Summer 1993 Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue printed in the moment proves, when it comes to which movies are and are not going to be popular - especially with children, nobody knows s**t.

I'm going to have to break this one down month-by-month.



May: Okay.  The "Super Mario Bros." movie.  It's specifically described here as a *Disney* movie based on the Mario games, which helps explain why many of us were -eh- juuuuust a little put-off by what actually happens in the film.

But never mind that.  Does anyone remember when Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson were an item?

It's been said that the '90's were our '70's, and I believe it.  Because I swear if there's anything consistent about the entire 1990's decade, it's the moments that, upon being reminded of them, feel more like a shared hallucination than something that actually happened in real life.



Early June: "JURASSIC PAAAAAAAARK"!!!

Also, "The Last Action Hero".  Which, as a reminder, was the cover story for this issue.  Yup.



Late June: You have to feel sympathy for the films with kid-appeal that arrived in the immediate wake of "Jurassic Park".  I could swear I saw "Dennis the Menace" as a kid but what little I can remember of it cannot possibly have been actual events in the movie, right?  (Note: I have revisited enough movies made for children from the '90's to say that oh, they absolutely can.  Even the bit where a very creepy Christopher Lloyd taunts a toddler by slicing up an apple with a scary knife.)



Early July: This was back when Disney was re-releasing movies from that damn Vault of theirs theatrically instead of on home media.  While I'm glad to finally own a copy of "Snow White", I rather miss the days of the high-profile vintage Disney movie revival.

It's weird how many movies that some people have nothing but the greatest nostalgia for while other people... don't... were released in this one summer.  Along with "Last Action Hero" and "Super Mario Bros.", we have "Hocus Pocus".  Full confession, I haven't watched this movie since it was released all those years ago (same with "Coneheads" and "Once Upon a Forest" - the Random '90's Animation movie that got away), but there's no way a Disney movie had so many jokes about a preteen boy being a virgin, right?  (Note: See above note, RE: "Dennis the Menace".)

I haven't the slightest clue why "True Romance" warrants a mention here.



Late July: Seven Hells, what a wasteland!  Only "Josh and S.A.M." sounds intriguing and... damn, I'm going to have to find the notoriously boneheaded "Tom and Jerry Movie" for Random 90's Animation aren't I?  I would like to meet the person who is nostalgic for any of these movies; they'd be bound to be interesting.



August: "The Secret Garden" and "The Fugitive" are the prizes in this pile and "Men in Tights" has it's fans. 

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Art of the Day!



June Fairies of all kinds for JuneFae!  Yes, I know it's August but since when did Fairies conform to silly humans?

What Did Gene Siskel Think of Children's Films in 1993?

There are a lot of great articles in TV Guide's Summer 1993 Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue but I think this one might be my favorite.

I dearly miss Roger Ebert.  His yearly Movie Guides were a huge influence on me, and I'm sure they are how I learned how to write a good essay.  Funny, I wasn't really into the "Siskel and Ebert" show.  In fact, I think this article was my main interaction with Gene Siskel as a critic.  I miss him too, but here he comes across as the crankiest of cranky old men.  I'll let it speak for itself but I really want to see the alternate "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid" he proposes...






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Art of the Day!



More MerMay Mermaids!  Goodness knows what we're drawing for August!

What Other Shows Were We Watching in 1993?

Saturday mornings weren't the only time to watch animation on the networks back in the early '90s.  Remember racing home from school to catch your favorite shows on weekday afternoons?  This Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue article lists some well-loved classics like "Batman the Animated Series", "Reading Rainbow", and even "Mystery Science Theater 3,000".  Honestly, there aren't too many duds in this list, just shows that I remember being very popular at the time that have since been forgotten. 

Let's get that "Avonlea" nostalgia train rollin', girls!






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Art of the Day



The perils of posting art week-by-week is that art I made for MerMay and JuneFae is finally appearing here in the middle of... AngeLy?  Ah well.  That's a pretty rad cliff I painted, IMO.

What Were we Watching on Saturday Mornings in 1993?

Saturday Morning Cartoons were still a thing back in 1993, which is worth noting in itself.  According to TV Guide's Summer 1993 Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue, the shows available ranged from tried and true classics (Looney Tunes compilations), updates of classics ("Tiny Tunes", of course, but also the... less fondly remembered "Tom and Jerry Kids"), attempts at recreating the success of the Ninja Turtles (the insane "C.O.W. Boys of Moo Mesa"; honestly, I'll never get used to minotaurs riding horses), and mostly forgotten oddities like the "Super Dave" cartoon.  And a cartoon with Scooby Doo in it because there has always been a cartoon with Scooby Doo in it.







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Draw of the Day



On an ill-advised nostalgia kick, I watched a few episodes of the all-but-forgotten 1986 Hanna-Barbera series "Wildfire" and it is... something else.  Starring magnificent monstrosities meant to be magical talking horses, droopy-winged fairies, Maleficent-with-the-copyright-cropped-off, and a really boring protagonist.

What Were We Listening To and Playing in 1993?

TV Guide's Summer 1993 Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue had some... interesting recommendations as far as what kids would be jamming out to in the summer of 1993.  Speaking for myself, I'm pretty sure I was still wearing out "Rhythm Nation" and my New Kids on the Block tapes back then.  I didn't really start geeking out on music until a year or two later, then became disillusioned with current popular music shortly after graduating college. 

That's when I really started liking the mentioned bands I grew up with like Van Halen and Duran Duran but they just weren't on my preteen girl radar back in '93 (even though this article is weirdly insistent that we dug those bands because they were cute, to which I can only say "Euw, they're so old!")  Of course now, I really want to track down that Coverdale/Page record.  I also wonder what happened to all these kid-led bands...





You know what entertainment writers really had a hard time writing about back in the day was video games.  This article emphasizes the potential educational value of games, which is fine; parents really did need to be assured that this new media that they did not understand and that their children were obsessed with wouldn't rot their brains.  It also suggests that the big hit games of the summer would be "Bubsy" and "Mario Is Missing".  Um...



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Draw of the Day



This was from the day we all learned about Tyco's short-lived (and I cannot for the life of me imagine why) Little Miss Dinosaur toys...

Celebrity Parents! What Are They Concerned About? Are They Concerned Parents? Let's Find Out!

Moving along in TV Guide's Summer 1993 Parent's Guide to Children's Entertainment Issue, we've an article about the big stars (of 1993) talking about what their kids enjoy watching on television.  And it turns out celebrity parents are just like us!  They are concerned about what their children watch, flip out when their babies catch something inappropriate, and debate when to introduce their work to their kids.  And because it's 1993, they also have a hard time playing video games and will pitch a fit if they have to watch "Barney and Friends" again.

(I'm not ashamed, I would watch Bart Simpson's version of "Dr. Quinn".)





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Draw of the Day




This was from the day we all learned about Tenrecs on Twitter!  How is this even a real animal?  I'm very upset right now!

And Now, Pop Culture in 1993!

I really have saved the best for last.



Oh boy.  This cover is a good place to begin with this treasure trove, with a visibly uncomfortable Arnold Schwarzenegger hanging with some kids, and noted iconic characters of the early 90's like Barney, Wolverine, and... Dennis the Menace?

That's the fun thing when reading these old preview-style magazines from a specific year.  There's a good chance they'll cover every bit of media with equal fervor, since they don't have the benefit of hindsight that we do and can only make educated guesses on what the big hits will be. Hence, "Dennis the Menace" getting a spot on the cover and Arnold rhapsodizing about his surefire hit "The Last Action Hero".  Oof.

First, here's what TV Guide considered the cream of the crop in kid's entertainment, circa 1993:



Dispersed throughout the issue are interviews with children asking what they like as far as books, movies, etc. go.  Turns out Berenstain Bears are as timeless as the Beatles (but we knew that already).  "Saved by the Bell" was once a realistic, down to Earth show.  And I can all too easily imagine a Disney executive at the time losing it at this one article quoting a group of 8-year-olds complaining that their animated musicals were "ucky". Thanks, random kids and Disney exec.






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Draw of the Day!