"We were the victims of ourselves!" - Thoughts on "John Carter"

"John Carter" is every bit as good as "Avatar", for good and for ill.  Indeed, it is better in some respects.  It is definitely worth watching if you are in any way curious about it or have enjoyed any works of science fiction/fantasy/adventure created in the past one hundred years.  For indeed, this film is based as reverently as possible the root of nearly all such fiction.  And it had the good luck to be made by people who genuinely love the hell out of the source material.

Right.  So let me try and talk about "John Carter" without screaming and swearing at Disney's almost impressively sh**ty marketing department.

("Cheep, cheep, cheep," go the crickets.)

Yeah, I really can't.  Let me regale you with anecdotal evidence of how impressively sh**ty a job Disney did in promoting "John Carter":

My sister and our best friend are both big fans of "Friday Night Lights".  Tim Riggins is their favorite character, if for no other reason than the fact that he is pretty hot.  Got all that?  Good, because NEITHER OF THEM WERE EVEN AWARE THAT THERE IS A MOVIE WHERE TAYLOR KITSCH GOES TO MARS AND KICKS EVERYONE'S ASS WHILE WEARING ALMOST NOTHING BUT A LOINCLOTH AND A SMILE FOR TWO HOURS! 

Furthermore, our friend loves "Avatar".  A lot.  She isn't one of those "I was a Na'vi in another life; I cry at night because Earth is too boring; I'm going to move to Pandora Landora in Disney when it opens" types, but surely her curiosity might have been piqued if something along the lines of, oh, "From the classic stories that inspired one hundred years of epic sci-fi/fantasy" had been in the trailers.  Maybe more emphasis on the really alien aliens and exotic landscapes.  Maybe mention that the story involves an Earthling going to another planet and falling in love with an alien princess.  You know, like the book's title does.

That's at least two butts that could have been in seats right there.  And they are instead looking forward to "Battleship".

This one's for you, Disney marketing peoples.

(Okay, to be fair, so far they have been doing an awesome job promoting "Wreck-It Ralph".  Though this may be the broken clock being right twice a day.)

So as far as "John Carter" as a movie, it is, as I said, every bit as good as "Avatar".  The beginning drags like crazy, there are a fair number of corny moments, and the ending could most generously be described as abrupt.  However, Barsoom looks fabulous with the production design taking inspiration from all the many and varied fantasy illustrators who ever interpreted Edgar Rice Burrough's imaginary worlds.  The various animated characters are well-realized and -perhaps this is Andrew Stanton being true to his roots- are by far more interesting than any of the humans.  Mad props to whomever decided that Woola shouldn't just be a dog with extra legs but should instead resemble something ugly-cute out of the Permian.  The main antagonists are pretty interesting as they are God-tier beings who long ago decided to use their eternal, all-powerful lives to basically screw with mortals.  This isn't spelled out much, though, hence the abrupt ending.  All in all, this is a movie that did not deserve the fate it got, and hopefully it will gain a cult audience.

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Sketch of the Day!  Who wouldn't want to ride a Chocobo?

A Long-Overdue Animated Trailer Post

It's been a while since we looked at trailers for upcoming animated (or not) films together, hasn't it? Fortunately, there's a huge crop out in the wake of ComiCon and they include some unusual films indeed. And questionable book-to-film title changes. Lots of them.



First off, "Winnie the Pooh", a very unexpected and pleasant surprise in this overall dreadful summer, is in theaters now. This is worth mentioning because it was released on the same weekend as, and has been a teeny tiny bit overshadowed by, another movie based on a beloved British children's book.

By the way, great jarb there Disney.



Here, just to get it out of the way, is the full trailer for "Happy Feet 2: Farewell to the Flesh". You are probably already aware that I disliked the original "Happy Feet", and while I figured the sequel might improve things (this is the same George Miller who gave us the awesomely bizarre "Babe: Pig in the City"), this here trailer is... discouraging. Actually, there are several things I could say about it but I will instead say this: At about the twenty second mark, I figured the makers of this film are, in fact, f**king with us.



I love how this cute teaser for Aardman's "Arthur Christmas" openly acknowledges right from the start that it's hard to get excited about a Christmas movie in high summer. I also like how this reminds me a little of the late, lamented "Cranium Command" show at EPCOT.



One of the overlooked treasures of the young adult novel section at your local library is illustrator Brian Selznick's Caldecot winning semi-graphic novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. The film, directed by no less than Martin Scorsese, comes our way in November. The trailer is a bit heavy on the slapstick (and the love-it-or-hate-it stylings of 30 Seconds to Mars Frozen Embryos), but everything else looks gorgeous.



A second trailer for "Tintin" was trotted around the internet recently and... disappeared mysteriously. Hopefully, this French trailer will stick around for a while. Is it me or does it look like they're still suspiciously reluctant to show the characters' faces?



So... here's "Puss in Boots". After this is over, can we be done with "Shrek" and everything associated with same? Please? I'll be good!



And now for our most far-flung movies. Although the film doesn't hit theaters until March, Aardman has dropped the trailer for "Pirates!" already. You may have heard that they are no longer affiliated with Dreamworks. You may have also heard that Nick Park and company have been wanting to make a pirate movie since at least "Flushed Away" (which originally involved -yes- pi-rats and wound up a bit of a mess instead). I'm getting a distinct "Look at what we can do NOW" vibe from this trailer.



Finally -FINALLY!- we've got our first look at PIXAR's "John Carter" (which anyone reading a blog like mine probably already knows is, in fact, "A Princess of Mars". And yes, that is on my summer reading list.) Obviously most of the "big" effects aren't done yet, so this looks a little generic.

And Fridge Logic: Why not use "Kings and Queens" here instead?



And speaking of PIXAR, here's the teaser for "Brave". Seeing as one of PIXAR's hallmarks is the fact that they like to research their asses off, I am giddy with excitement over this one.



As far as series, and me being giddy with excitement, hey there, "Legend of Korra" trailer!



And just because I can, here's a very special find. A teaser trailer for a film that never saw the light of day. Originally, "Siegfried" was to be a full-length animated feature, but the funding was cut. The story was eventually made into a graphic novel, but the trailer, with a look somewhat similar to early period Don Bluth films, shows us we missed out on something amazing.

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Sketch of the Day!



I said recently I hadn't drawn enough dragons. Came up with this turtle-dragon.