It's the Not-Even-Remotely-Annual Summer Animated Trailer Post!

A lot, an awful lot, of trailers for upcoming animated, kind-of-animated, and "how the blazes are we even defining what an animated film is anyway"-ted feature films have premiered lately, so let's all take a look at them!  Boy I hope you like sequels, franchise movies, remakes...



And here's a damn good example of how long it's been since I did one of these blogs: "Incredibles 2" comes out TONIGHT!?  Like, that's soon!  Really soon!  Oh my God, please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck...!!!

Weirdly, I feel like I haven't seen any excitement for this.  It's almost as if we can't even believe an "Incredibles" sequel is actually happening after Brad Bird denied he wanted to make one for all these years.



Boy I hope "Ralph Breaks the Internet" ends up being better than this teaser suggests.  I'm not the first to point this out but the Internet looks like a hellscape of Brands (I mean, it IS, but it'd be nice if they depicted it as anything else), and I'm having a hard time defending the "We are Disney, look upon our I.P.s and despair" scene.  Still, I can't wait to see that Princess scene in context and at least they're acknowledging that the Muppets exist.

Anyway, speaking of Disney, Brands, and Hell:



It's "Hook".  But, like, a Winnie the Pooh version.  Just what the world needed.  Though I like how most of Disney Twitter (TM) is using this as a teaching moment:

For those of you riding the nostalgia wave on the CHRISTOPHER ROBIN trailer, here’s a friendly reminder that Disney did a terrific new animated Winnie the Pooh movie in 2011 that made exactly $12 because they released it the same day as DEATHLY HALLOWS 2. pic.twitter.com/51waBnx6PZ

— David Daut (@DavidMDaut) March 6, 2018

Note: prepare yourself for a lot of people not understanding what hyperbole is in that thread.



I know a sequel to "Mary Poppins" is a thing that is happening, but why?  I can’t shake the feeling that "Sequel to Mary Poppins" is something that either would’ve been a Disney Sunday movie in the 80’s or would’ve happened somewhere between "102 Dalmatians" and "Chicken Little".

But good on them for remembering those crazy neighbors with the ship house.



Guys.  I am so God-damn tired.

Honestly.  I really can't wait until Disney gets this "Remake everything in live-action (for a given definition of live-action)" thing out of their system.  Hell, this might be more annoying than the era of DTV sequels...

Okay, enough bleakness:



Okay, maybe a little bleakness.  I'm conditioned to immediately dislike any new take on "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", doubly so if it gives Grinch a sad backstory to explain why he hates Christmas.  It's a damn sight cuter than the 2000 version at least, though that's a heck of a low bar to clear.



I like "How to Train Your Dragon 2" more than most but it really does feel like a part two and part three crammed together.  That doesn't leave much for part three to resolve, but I feel optimistic.  At least we're going to get more and hopefully even weirder monster designs.



I've been waiting for an official, actual "LEGO Movie 2" for a long time it feels.  All the theatrical LEGO movies have been very good, IMO, and I can't wait to be unexpectedly weepy by the end of this one too.



And here we have the one upcoming (like, not premiering in a few hours) animated film I'm most excited about.  Look at this; look how cool and creative this looks!  More unabashedly trippy CGI please!

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Art of the Day!

Hey, you know what very conspicuously did NOT get a trailer recently?

It's the Hardly-Annual Summer Animated Trailer Post - Pre-D23 Expo Edition!

Yes, I will have to do an updated edition of this post after the D23 Expo happens and brings us more trailers.  Most significantly, it's anticipated that the trailer for "The Good Dinosaur" will premier there and... yeah, being that it is a "we research our butts off" PIXAR film about dinosaurs, I may already be a little too emotionally invested in that one (please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck...)

Addendum: And that isn't going to be for a while, it appears.  It's been weeks since D23 and the only "Good Dinosaur" tidbits we have been given since are some concept art and some not-terribly-encouraging news.

Anyway, here are the current animated trailers:



Well, first off, New Miyazaki Film! New Miyazaki Film! New Miyazaki Film!



For those of you who think there aren't any good animated films centering on feathered theropods lately (except, you know, that one), behold "Leafy: a Hen Into the Wild". Sadly, there's no news of an American release but I'm holding out hope.



There's a sizable "Legend of Korra"-shaped hole in my life right now, but this incredibly evocative teaser for season two promises to finally fill it in September.



One of the best surprises among recent animated features was "How to Train Your Dragon".  Fans of the film went rightfully nuts over the friendship between Toothless and Hiccup and their acrobatic (if somewhat familiar) flights together.  The teaser for the sequel very wisely promises more of exactly that.



Blue Sky is sparing us "Ice Age 5: Why Are These Even Set During The Ice Age Anymore" for the moment, but giving us a sequel to the underwhelming "Rio" instead. The teasers throw yet more characters into the overloaded cast, so hooray for that? This particular teaser starts by briefly giving us 80's kids bad flashbacks to the "Somewhere Out There" scene in "American Tail"...

...but then...😨

...but THEN...😱

Then you get to the part where they reveal the title and... yeah, these are all interesting visuals for an animated teaser.



A lot of people loved the hell out of "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs". Enough to make me wonder what I missed, since I kind of hated it. The inevitable sequel at least promises some very cool plant-animal designs, along with more awesome food/scenery, more puns, and more insufferable little sidekick characters who scream a whole lot. I'm such a big fan of that last thing, you have no idea.



And speaking of things that are insufferable, behold the trailer for "Turkeys". I mean "Free Birds". I mean, I don't even give a s**t, because look at this thing. It's like they had five or six plot ideas centered around the general pitch, "Blargh, somethin' about turkeys, I guess, whatever."  And instead of picking just one of them like a sane person would have -- and not even a sane person!  Because "South Park" already did "angry turkeys attack humans on Thanksgiving" way-ass back in 1997!?!  Anyway, instead of picking one plot to focus on and develop properly, they mashed together all of them.  Every last God-damn one of them, because that approach always ends well for animated holiday feature films with goofy animals.  In other news, "From the producer/director/studio/whatever of 'Shrek'!" doesn't even look like a real phrase made up of real words anymore.



One of the more unusual features coming soon is "Walking With Dinosaurs 3D".  Which will hopefully not end up being "Spirit: Ceratopsian of the Cimmaron," even though this bored-narrator-heavy trailer is discouraging.



"Box Trolls" is the new Laika joint.  Based on the high concept, gorgeous animation, and "Hey, people who walked out after that one offhand line of dialogue during the finale of 'Paranorman'? Deal with it." attitude, they're obviously remaining as awesome as ever.



The announcement of the "LEGO Movie" a while back made me skeptical, but this trailer got me looking forward to it.  And then there's the awkward moment when I realized this is what it took to finally get Wonder Woman into a theatrical movie...



Here' is what I am assured is an impressively misleading teaser for "Frozen" and... actually, forget this. Have the Japanese teaser instead:



So... pretty...

BONUS: "The Muppets: Most Wanted" trailer just dropped this morning!



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Sketch of the Day!

Kinda-Sorta-Semi-Annual Animated Trailer Post!

Got a pretty crazy variety of animated films coming out in the next year and a half. Let's judge their trailers in rough chronological order.



One of the most unusual trailers I have to share today is "Arjun the Warrior Prince". Apparently Disney has been doing several co-productions with animation studios in India and this is one such film. Sadly, there's no indication whether or not there will be an American release. And there are no subtitles, if that bothers you, but it's pretty easy to figure what's going on.



There are four "Ice Age" movies now. And they have gone long past the point where they should have asked themselves, "WHY are they even set in the Ice Age anymore?"



"ParaNorman" is from the studio that brought us "Coraline", and the stop-motion animation looks similarly jaw-dropping. The fact that it reminds me of "The Goonies" and "Monster Squad" is a plus. Also, it means I am old.



By far the most interesting thing about "Hotel Transylvania" is the fact that Genndy Tartakovsky is involved. And if you are familiar with his work, it'd be basically impossible to tell.



"Frankenweenie" is an extended dance remix of an old Tim Burton Disney short, this time in stop-motion and, in so many words, more Tim Burton.



"Despicable Me" was a nice surprise, and I'm curious to see where they take the characters from there. Not sure if I like this "Here's more! More of that one thing everybody liked!" approach the teaser takes.



Some years ago, there was talk of an animated adaptation of William Joyce's The Leaf Men and the Brave, Good Bugs. Apparently, that mutated into Blue Sky's "Epic". The teaser is a cavalcade of mood whiplash (frisson all up and down my arms and then BAM, goofy-ass chatterbox snail), but at least this is guaranteed to be better than that other "Epic".

And finally, here are the four teasers for "Monsters University"!

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Sketch of the Day!

So here's our "Wreck-It Ralph" trailer! And an Announcement!

I don't think I can embed it so watch it at Jim Hill Media at the highest definition your computer can stand.

Holy crap, this looks beautiful.  Colorful and with an interesting design aesthetic.  There are a ton of great sight gags (Tiny!) and this is shaping up to indeed be the "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" of arcade games.

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So...there are some THINGS happening in real life that are disrupting my posting schedule.  I'll try my hardest to get one up every week.  They won't be long, but they'll be something.

This month probably won't be the best one to start my next Big Ol' Watch and Then Write About a Bunch of Related Animated Films in Chronological Order Project, but I want to announce it anyway because you never know (plus the movies in question are starting to pop up in my queue). I am proud and somewhat apprehensive to announce My Summer of Sequels.  Which is to say, I will be watching every direct-to-video Disney sequel that Netflix carries.  

I reserve the right to skip the genuinely horrible ones and/or add in some technically theatrical sequels to take the edge off.  I will also very definitely not be viewing any non-Disney sequels.  Yes, I know there are some deeply fascinating train wrecks to be seen there, but that would mean acknowledging that there are such things as "The Land Before Time: Time of the Journey to the Mystery of the Secret to Some of the Dinosaurs Turn Out to be Aliens. No I am Not Kidding. That's What 'The Land Before Time' is Now".

I am actually kind of looking forward to a few of these DTV sequels.  Admit it, you want to see how in the hell the "Atlantis" sequel even works too.

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Sketch of the Day!

It's Princess Week, so Here's The "Brave" trailer.

Wow. Wow, this is a hell of a new format, Blogger. This is the first new post I've written since they changed Dashboard and... well, it'll take a while to get used to it but hopefully none of you will notice.

Anyway, here is the trailer at Pixar Portal.   You are going to want to watch this on the largest screen you can.

The exact plot is still unclear, but we learn a little more about the characters.  And we learn that most of what Princess Merida will be doing in this movie is at sharp right angles to Princess Week, which is... a thing... I don't even know.

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Addendum: I am going to experiment with some new formats for this blog, seeing as the aspect ratio of the current format is... a little dated.  I apologize in advance for any hiccups, and to people still using squared-off screens.

Addendum the Second: There's so much ROOM now!  My images don't have to be so cramped anymore!  Yaaaay!!!

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Sketch of the Day!

You know who was the best Princess? Sue.

A Long-Overdue Animated Trailer Post

It's been a while since we looked at trailers for upcoming animated (or not) films together, hasn't it? Fortunately, there's a huge crop out in the wake of ComiCon and they include some unusual films indeed. And questionable book-to-film title changes. Lots of them.



First off, "Winnie the Pooh", a very unexpected and pleasant surprise in this overall dreadful summer, is in theaters now. This is worth mentioning because it was released on the same weekend as, and has been a teeny tiny bit overshadowed by, another movie based on a beloved British children's book.

By the way, great jarb there Disney.



Here, just to get it out of the way, is the full trailer for "Happy Feet 2: Farewell to the Flesh". You are probably already aware that I disliked the original "Happy Feet", and while I figured the sequel might improve things (this is the same George Miller who gave us the awesomely bizarre "Babe: Pig in the City"), this here trailer is... discouraging. Actually, there are several things I could say about it but I will instead say this: At about the twenty second mark, I figured the makers of this film are, in fact, f**king with us.



I love how this cute teaser for Aardman's "Arthur Christmas" openly acknowledges right from the start that it's hard to get excited about a Christmas movie in high summer. I also like how this reminds me a little of the late, lamented "Cranium Command" show at EPCOT.



One of the overlooked treasures of the young adult novel section at your local library is illustrator Brian Selznick's Caldecot winning semi-graphic novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. The film, directed by no less than Martin Scorsese, comes our way in November. The trailer is a bit heavy on the slapstick (and the love-it-or-hate-it stylings of 30 Seconds to Mars Frozen Embryos), but everything else looks gorgeous.



A second trailer for "Tintin" was trotted around the internet recently and... disappeared mysteriously. Hopefully, this French trailer will stick around for a while. Is it me or does it look like they're still suspiciously reluctant to show the characters' faces?



So... here's "Puss in Boots". After this is over, can we be done with "Shrek" and everything associated with same? Please? I'll be good!



And now for our most far-flung movies. Although the film doesn't hit theaters until March, Aardman has dropped the trailer for "Pirates!" already. You may have heard that they are no longer affiliated with Dreamworks. You may have also heard that Nick Park and company have been wanting to make a pirate movie since at least "Flushed Away" (which originally involved -yes- pi-rats and wound up a bit of a mess instead). I'm getting a distinct "Look at what we can do NOW" vibe from this trailer.



Finally -FINALLY!- we've got our first look at PIXAR's "John Carter" (which anyone reading a blog like mine probably already knows is, in fact, "A Princess of Mars". And yes, that is on my summer reading list.) Obviously most of the "big" effects aren't done yet, so this looks a little generic.

And Fridge Logic: Why not use "Kings and Queens" here instead?



And speaking of PIXAR, here's the teaser for "Brave". Seeing as one of PIXAR's hallmarks is the fact that they like to research their asses off, I am giddy with excitement over this one.



As far as series, and me being giddy with excitement, hey there, "Legend of Korra" trailer!



And just because I can, here's a very special find. A teaser trailer for a film that never saw the light of day. Originally, "Siegfried" was to be a full-length animated feature, but the funding was cut. The story was eventually made into a graphic novel, but the trailer, with a look somewhat similar to early period Don Bluth films, shows us we missed out on something amazing.

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Sketch of the Day!



I said recently I hadn't drawn enough dragons. Came up with this turtle-dragon.

Super Bowl Commercial Live-Blog Extravaganza!

This probably isn't going to work, but I said that about the Macy's Parade earlier this (excruciatingly long, it turns out) season, didn't I? Just in case, I will give you plenty to keep you busy.

A Stranger In The Alps, who may just have the greatest online handle I have seen so far this year, recently posted a series of photographs from his trip to the Kenosha Dinosaur Discovery Museum. There is a wealth of reference to be found here, from this museum I hadn't ever heard of and is now a place I desperately want to visit some day.

I-Mockery paid a visit to the famous Cabazon Dinosaurs (as seen in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" and also possibly "The Wizard"!) And it turns out that they are actually stranger in person.



Also, it is the Year or the Rabbit! I am posting Symmetrical Sal here (instead of the more obvious Wild Carl) because he is, get this, my most popular upload ever at Flickr. Seriously, he has had 6,261 views. This is despite the fact that I probably spent the least time on this one drawing out of everything I've posted online. What the heck is going on here?

Anyway, I will have more rabbity things going on this week later.

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5:37 PM - Yeah Celtics! Yah yah yah!!! Also, there is a football game later tonight. (Naughty language in that link)

5:45 - I like how the ads for "Drive Angry" are (a) emphasizing that the thing was "filmed in 3D" because they have to do that now I guess, and (b) neglecting to explain what "Drive Angry" is actually about ("The Punisher" meets "Spawn". Really.)
Meanwhile, FOX has a weird definition of "fun".

5:58 - Today I learned that the Declaration of Independence exists so that we could ultimately drink beer, play football, and anticipate summer blockbuster movies. Yup.

6:36 - (Took a break for dinner.) The Superbowl isn't as important as the Berlin Wall falling, WTF? It is a football game.
Also, looks like I missed the "Kung Fu Panda 2" trailer. <: span="">

6:46 - Glad that "Far Side"-ripping-off Doritos commercial went in the less obvious direction. Also, WTF Audi?

6:51 - WTF Doritos cheese-obsessed guy
And Pepsi has given us this year's Women Are Vengeful Evil B*tches Ad.

6:55 - By the way, I know absolutely nothing about football or how it works. I just got to the part about Tyrannosaurs in Greg Paul's book.
I did enjoy the Bud Light product placement satire and the Chevy "Lassie" parody.
Apparently, there is another "Fast and the Furious" movie coming out "in summer". Actual release date: sometime in April. The trailer actually said, "summer begins this April". I predict that there will still be snow on the sidewalk by then (although I certainly hope there isn't).

7:03 - Once again, WTF Doritos
(They are sponsoring the game, so we're going to get to see a lot of these. Yay.)

7:06 - I guess Quetzelcoatl just wanted that KIA the most.

7:19 - Not sure if this one was just local, but I think we'll be hearing a lot of waargarbling over that Sealy's/Sleepies ad.

7:26 - I like how that last trailer was basically, "They allowed a third 'Bay-Formers' movie to be made; just to forwarn you."

7:28 - I got a Motorolla not-iPad it makes me diffrent an spechul!

7:33 - OK, here we go. LOVED the "World of Warcraft"-ish Coke ad (the look on the dragon = yay!) "Thor" looks pretty awesome. And the much-hyped mini-Vader VW ad was actually really cute.

7:41 - I wasn't the only one who got chills from the "Super 8" commercial am I? Love how it started like "E.T." and ended like "Cloverfield."

7:50 - No. No, no, no, no, no, NO NO NO GODDAMMITSOMUCH WE DO NOT NEED A CAR THAT WILL TELL YOU WHAT IS GOING ON IN FACEBOOK F*** YOU WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THAT WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU GAAAAHHH!
Also, "America! F*** yah!!!"

8:02 - Adorable Android mascot + Grafted-on human thumbs = There isn't enough in the world.

8:12 - You know what? Fergie came up with that "I'm so 2008 / you're so 2,000-LATE!" And she still loves it so much, she isn't going to change it. Good for her I guess.

8:13 - Oh hi, random Slash.

8:16 - If anyone's sick of the Peas, I have for you an alternative in the form of what is STILL the best song Fergie has ever been involved in:



8:21 - God, Chatter!Will.I.Am is terrifying.

8:45 - OK, thus far we've got to see:
* - A dude licking Doritos cheese off his coworkers fingers and pants.
* - A dude reanimating a disintegrated grandpa using Doritos.
* - A cute little CGI robot with realistic human thumbs messily sewn on.
* - An ostensibly cute CGI Will.I.Am with eerily realistic gooey human eyes.
And now,
* - A baby flying through the air and splattering it's face on a glass wall. (We are assured it is a doll, but still...)
What the hell, creepy factor of this year's ads?

8:55 - That last one took forever to write. So... new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. Yeah.
Also, momentarily saving money through groupon is more important than the plight of whales or the people of Tibet.

9:02 - In an earlier and very disappointing stop-motion commercial, Eminem assured us that he doesn't do commercials. OK. He has been in two commercials so far. Just pointing it out.

9:20 - Actual football playing. Meh.

9:23 - D'aww the classic (or not) TV characters watching football montage.

9:33 - I... don't know about "Rango". Nothing has really sold me on it yet.
On the other hand, that Cars.com commercial was wikkid cute.
Obligatory Animals That Think They're People Ad, this time from Bud Light.

9:36 - Eh, I could be sold easily on "Rio".
(Awkward pause.)
It has birds in it, you shut up. >:(

9:40 - And more actual football.

9:46 - Oh, just stop it, GoDaddy. Just stop it. S**t's getting old.
The Bridgestone beaver was cute.
The VW Beetle was freakin' adorable!

9:48 - Ba-hahaha, the "House" Mean Joe Green tribute.

9:57 - Teachers = Bad. Ass.

10:02 - OUR VERY FIRST "TERRA NOVA" COMMERCIAL HOLY CRAP!
And... it looks like "Lost" with "Jurassic Park" dinosaurs. *sigh*
I am still willing to wear a frilly tutu/the most ridiculous thing I find in Garment District/something equally embarrassing and inconvenient if we see a single feather.

10:07 - Oh, the Packers won. Yay, I guess.
Look, the Pats screwed it up again; I wasn't too emotionally invested.

10:11 - The more I see of "Mars Needs Moms", the more... repulsive it's characters become.
And we get to watch the Nightmare Fuel-errific Android with thumbs ad again.

10:34 - "Battle L.A." is DIFFERENT from "Skyline." IT JUST IS!!!
And with that, it looks like we're back to normal ads. Almost time for "Glee"! New post on Tuesday, see you then!

EDIT: Most of the trailers are viewable over at good ol' /Film.
And the rest of the commercials can be seen here.

Where the Wild Silly Old Bears Are

Well, here (via the wonderful /Film as usual) is the new trailer for Disney's "Winnie the Pooh", arriving in theaters this coming summer:



Now, this is an excellent trailer (though the editing is a little wonky at times). It has so far gained lots and lots of positive comments, which bodes well for Disney animation. And while the film is being released in a rather crowded market, it could be considered good counter-programing (unless A. A. Milne ever wrote an extended scene I am unaware of where every third character is violently killed).

That said, for some reason, this trailer felt... familiar...

EDIT: Well, that didn't take long now, did it?



OK, turns out that this trailer remix is kinda old, but even funnier now. And just for fun (and also because this post is a bit on the short side), here's one of my favorite trailer remixes ever: Christopher Nolan's "Dumb and Dumber" (it works out better than you'd expect because you tend to forget how damn dark "D&D" could get):



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Art of the Day! More goopy plein air goodness!

The Big Sit! Also, it appears that somebody got around to making "Gnomeo and Juliet".

(Record-scratch sound effects.)

No, really. Here's the announcement at /Film and the trailer:



I should probably explain why this was a little unexpected. You see, a long, long time ago, when Disney was in the depths of it's Dork Age, whoever was in charge of pitching story ideas there basically said, "You know what? F*** it! We're all trying to make the next movie that will make as much money as 'The Lion King', right? So let's just do ANOTHER loose Shakespeare adaptation with celebrities voicing nonhuman characters who sing lots and lots of Elton John songs."

And this happened back when there was a weird mini-trend, possibly inspired by "Amélie" or warm memories of Rien Poortvliet's art books or the beloved "David the Gnome" animated series adaptation of them, of collecting garden gnomes.

The last we Disney fans heard, the project had been scrapped. This happened back when "Meet the Robinsons" was being reworked. Since that was the last time I had heard anything of it, the sight of a trailer was a huge surprise. I guess another studio must have picked it up, which might explain why this is released under Touchstone. Disney (which is in the meantime working on a movie based on the whole Magic Kingdom because of COURSE they are) has been known to release "weird" movies under the Touchstone banner; the same thing happened to "Roger Rabbit" and "Nightmare Before Christmas". The whole situation was just too strange not to mention here.

What do I think of what we see in the trailer? Well, let me put it this way. I still dream of someday directing my own animated film. And when I do, I will insist that both the trailers and posters must include this or a similar tagline:

"From a person who was not at all involved in 'Shrek'! And while she kinda liked the first movie at the time, she frankly thinks that the 'Shrek' movies have a lot to answer for. (That God-forsaken 'Cat in the Hat' movie for example.)"

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Announcement: This Sunday is The Big Sit! Register your circle and keep track of the birds you see. This instructional video explains the rules further. Skip ahead to the six minute mark to learn why friends don't let friends drink and birdwatch.

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Sketch of the day:

Costumes (already?) and some more trailers

It may still technically be summer, but there's a cold chill in the air at night, the pumpkin beers are out, and the Big Party (I refuse to call it iParty because, come on) is stocking it's shelves with Halloween Costumes! Hooray!

I haven't decided on who/what/where I want to be this year. I briefly entertained the idea of somehow assembling a Neytiri costume and... that plan still seems reasonable. Because the officially licensed "Avatar" costumes, to my astonishment and self-kicking lack of camera on hand, look like crap.

I'd like to say that this is some kind of cash-in. That somebody took a generic bodysuit, sewed whatever leftover tails they had lying around to it, and spray-painted the whole thing blue. But no, this thing right here is apparently the official Neytiri costume,and it retails for $72.00.

It's not the most upsetting women's costume available, however. That award would have gone to this little number here.  What you are looking at is called the "Sexy Cookie Monster Costume". It is real and I have seen it for myself. It reminded me why this old, old, old Infographic from The Onion is getting less and less funny and more and more horribly prescient every year.

However, it isn't the worst. Because in searching for a picture of the Sexy Cookie Monster, I found the worst ever Halloween costume for women. And it is the worst ever, because somebody went ahead and stole The Onion's idea.  Ignoring the brain-breaking reality of an actual non-satire real life Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume for now, here are a few new animated film trailers that... broke my mind for other reasons. (You can read previous trailer reviews here.)

First off, here's a link to Cartoon Brew's reaction to the infamous "Double Tower" trailer for "Tangled". *Sigh...*

And here is the new trailer for Dreamwork's "Megamind", which is, of course, in three-effin'-dee. I wasn't all that excited about and looks... well, it looks like the very definition of "m'eh":



This thing is called "Alpha and Omega", from a brandy-new studio called Crest Animation, and it is -of course- also in three-effin'-dee. I am going to go ahead and pretend that this is, in actuality, "The DeviantArt Movie" (to go along with "The Social Network" "The Facebook Movie":



But really, the only bad things I can say about "Megamind" and "Alpha and Omega" is that they suffer from lack of imagination. Uninspired animation, boring music choices (it says a lot that the music cue at the 1:50 minute mark of the "A&O" clip made me groan instead of cheer), and generally reminding me of older, better films.
And I say that because this next trailer is for "Quantum Quest". It is "a sci-fi action film set in a scientifically accurate rendering of our solar system in 3-D stereoscopic (that) blends computer animation with billions of dollars of fantastic images captured during recent NASA space explorations". While I hate celebrity voices as a selling point in an animated film, it is worth noting that the promotional material proudly boasts that the cast includes "two Captain Kirks, two Darth Vaders, two Jedi Knights, and Neil Armstrong" OMG WTF LOLers!!!
So with all this in mind, it's kind of a tragedy that "Quantum Quest" looks like this:



Oh... oh God...

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Art of the Day!

Speaking of people in costumes:

Lets talk about trailers for upcoming animated films, including the "Rapunzel" trailer for, like, FOREVER!

Yes, I know it's actually called "Tangled". Whatever, go ahead and drop the other shoe and name it "Explosions, Monster Trucks, and Testosterone Galore" for all it matters. For all the sweat Disney sheds over who gets named what, every normal person is going to just call this movie "Rapunzel" anyway. I base this on the fact that I do not know a single person in real life who doesn't refer to "The Princess and the Frog" as "The Frog Prince(ss)".
I suggest you watch this fullscreen.



OK? OK.
I guess the real question is, how badly can *you* tell that this was first conceived of back when the title "Rapunzel Untangled" would have been relevant (dammit)?
That's a wikkid adorable chameleon, though. And I love Glen Keane but I'm not sure I'm seeing much of him in this.
To be fair, and we've covered this before, there aren't that many teaser trailers by Disney that inspire confidence. Still, the "like... FOREVER" bit makes me cringe.

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Our next animated film trailer is for another "Why the hell did they change the title?" case, "Legends of the Guardians: the Owls of Ga'Hoole" (let's call it "Happy Shrieks" or, better, "Owls Who Can Smith Armor. Somehow.") The full trailer can be seen here at Topless (it isn't what it sounds like) Robot, to which I am linking because Rob has, like me, never read this series and lists some hilarious, yet thought-provoking, questions about it. Once again, you may want to watch it in fullscreen.
I'm... surprised that we're getting a Guardians of Ga'Hoole movie before, say, a Warrior Cats movie (which seems to have a far larger fandom) but whatever. I do like when HeroOwl does his Neo in the rain thing and I enjoy that Jared Leto song. I do not enjoy the fact that HeroOwl's parents sound exactly the same and the fact that I am getting the same creepily-almost-human vibe I got from "Happy Feet".
Also, I believe we can all agree that this movie should end with this guy swooping in and kicking everyone's ass.
EDIT: Thank you, Albertonykus (boy I hope I spelled that right without checking) for giving a good summary of the series in the comments. The salient point is that it's basically a straight-up fantasy with owls. And on that note, I am as surprised as he is that we aren't getting a Silverwing movie (or a Warriors movie, or a Books of the Named movie, or a Firebringer movie, or a Raptor Red movie, or a Pick Your Favorite Xenofictional Series With a Sizable DeviantArt Fandom movie) before Ga'Hoole.

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/Film just recently also posted stills and a teaser for "The Smurfs" and... yeah. 

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It's not all bad news from the big studios, though it's odd that the best animated feature (so to speak) might end up being a video game. We got a teaser for "Epic Mickey" finally at E3, showing off the animation and gameplay mechanics. This looks amazing!



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Away from the big studios (and you'll want to go fullscreen on both of these as well) , we have Sylvain Chomet's "The Illusionist" (not to be confused with the pretty-good live-action movie of the same name from a few years ago), and it doesn't really tell us anything about the film aside from the fact that it is very, very pretty:



And of course there's Studio Ghibli's very, very, very pretty looking take on The Borrowers. Sadly, it's not so much a teaser as some footage recorded off a television show where it debuted. Try to ignore the people in the lower-right:



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Sketch of the Day! Old-school Pokemon!


This is as good a time as any to say that the 3Dsi looks totally radical.

You know, I often wonder what the Olympics were like 1,000 years ago in the land of dragons and vikings...

Yeah. So about those "How to Train Your Dragon" commercials that have so far been ubiquitous during the Winter Olympics.
1) I now no longer want to see this movie. Like, ever. Which is too bad, as I was genuinely intrigued when I read that Chris Sanders was involved.
2) I can tell the announcers hate having to segue from the biathalon or whatever to these commercials.
3) Open letter to Dreamworks. If I ever see a poster or watch a trailer where you remind us that you are the studio that made "Shrek" again, I will... do... *something* ludicrous. Point is, we get it. We know who you are; you can stop reminding us.
4) I read the book How to Train Your Dragon a while back. What the hell book did the writers of this movie read?
5) The dragon is cute. :/

Don't get me wrong; I've been more into the Winter Olympics this year than I have since "Skategate" (ask your mom. Or Wikipedia.) Indeed, most of the commercials they've premiered during the Games have been better than the Superbowl commercials. I love the Coke snowball fight ad.
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I seem to recall that Disney ran an ad or something saying that, if you've never seen "Lost" before, you'll still be able to follow the story. This writer has decided to take this statement on. The result is... it is truly a thing of beauty.
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Sketch Of The day! Yet more Great Backyard Bird Count cuteness!

Meet the New Superbowl Ads! Same as the Old Superbowl Ads!

Another batch of opinions, hastily posted by somebody who wasn't all that invested in the game. (Dammit, Bill!) This may not be the most coherent post in the world, since it's almost quarter of two in the morning now, but here goes:

"The Last Airbender" teaser - Uh... eh. I think I've made my opinions on the prospects of a live-action "Avatar: the Last Airbender" movie perfectly clear by now and this teaser didn't really change anything. What strikes me as odd is the fact that, had I tuned in a minute later I would have missed it entirely.

Boostmobile Shuffle - OK, this one got a laugh out of me. For those of you who are to young to get the reference, enjoy the very first time I realized that athletes should never sing. Ever.

Doritoes and Budweiser - Man, their commercials this year were either just plane weird or boring. Doritoes in particular; it looked like they were using the ideas from their contest a while back that came in a distant second.

"Robin Hood: Prince of Some Stuff" - "Gee, Homer, that's a good idea but I think they've already made movies based on A Christmas Carol." "Yeah, well, what about Robin Hood?"
On the other hand, I am hoping they make this movie into another "EXCITING cereal".

"Wolfman" - Team DelToro!!!

Monster.com Beaver - I like the puppetry, but this is a good example of an ad that is really elaborate but doesn't make any damn sense. The Budweiser Bridge ad was like this too. The ur-example of this kind of Superbowl ad comes from 1997. (Bonus: Two or three instantly-dated references for the price of one!)

GoDaddy.com - This may be the greatest and best web-hosting service in the entire Internet, and all most people associate them with are these "to hot for TV" ads. Good jarb ad execs.

Coke Simpsons - Yaaaay!!! I feel like I ought to comment more on this ad as it's the only memorable animated ad. It's wikkid late. I don't want to.

Career Builder and Dockers - To ads in a row with guys in their underwear. Good luck telling them apart.

Teleflora - Hey, I remember this from last year!

"Alice in Wonderland" and "Tru TV Groundhog Day" - I must have mentioned somewhere on this blog that the deepest depth of the Uncanny Valley is inhabited by those staples of Superbowl ads, CGI Babies Who Do Things Normal Babies Don't Do. Well, I was wrong. The real inhabitants are People With Giant CGI Heads (or Normal-Sized Heads On Little CGI Bodies, it's hard to tell).

Universal's Wizarding World of Harry Potter - And I've given so much attention to the history of the Disney/MGM or Hollywood or whatever they're calling it now Studios in Walt Disney World that I feel like I must have discussed the equally strange history of Universal Studios Florida as well. This ad reminds me of the seriously trippy ads used to introduce the park in the first place. I don't think Wizarding World will be open by the time I get to Florida next month (more on that later), but having visited the spot where I think it's going, it's a little hard to believe that this is going to be more elaborate than a retheming of the Lost Continent part of Islands of Adventure.

Dr. Pepper Little Kiss - Ugh. Just... ugh.

"Prince of Persia: the Color Orange!" - With the memory of what happened after "Pirates of the Caribbean" fresh in my head, let me say this: I don't want little girls and their moms suddenly saying they've "Always been a Jake Gyllenhaal fan!" You sit through "The Good Girl" and "The Day After Tomorrow" just for him and then maybe we'll let you in the fan club. Maybe.

HomeAway.com - Here's a depressing trend for you. Commercials for commercials. As in, you had to go online to watch the full version of this. Bah.

Dennys screaming chickens - And here's the most irritating and most impossible to like commercial this year.

"The Crazies" - Interesting and creepy ad for what appears to be an entirely unremarkable thriller. Funny thing is, I would have expected to see an "Iron Man 2" teaser instead.

Google Paris Romance - Awwwwww... See now, this is how you do it.

EDIT: Reviews of ads I have not mentioned can be found at the Onion AV Club. It's funny how the blatant misogyny and anti-intellectualism, especially of the Bud ads, didn't immediately register with me. Then again, I remember when every single beer ad felt like that Duff beer "down with sexism" ad from an early episode of "The Simpsons" (still brilliant but YouTube has sadly failed me).

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Sketch of the day!

I'm also selling a set of ACEOs on Ebay this week, just to see how they do.

So, about the *other* "Avatar" teaser.

"Avatar" as in the 3D animated movie that James Cameron has been working on since before you and I were born, unless it just feels that way. Not the dubiously necessary live-action adaptation of the well-loved recent animated series of the same title. Here's the trailer for you to watch before I share my thoughts:


OK? OK.
So I'm actually of two minds looking at this trailer. Let me explain.
The twelve-year-old in me was thinking, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Floating islands and spaceships and glowy blue catpeople riding dragons!!! DRAGONS!!!"
But the mean old lady in me was thinking, "Is it me or is the animation downright sh**ty when the alien guy starts talking? Why in the world is the guy who directed 'Aliens From the Deep' giving us a movie where the aliens look like weird humans*? And, aside from looking like 'Ferngully: the Spirits Within' and vaguely reminding me of this music video, what is this movie even about?"
Now with all that said, I still can confidently predict that the actual movie will probably kick all of our asses. Do you remember back in the day when everyone was SURE "Titanic" was going to tank?
(OK, so "Titanic" had The Power of Leo going for it, where "Avatar" seems to have only The Power of Catgirls, but still.)

* - I am watching this trailer on the day of the 100th anniversary of the discovery of the Burgess Shale fossils. I've read a lot of positive comments admiring how "REALLY alien" the glowy blue catpeople are. My friend Opabina would like a word with you.

In other news, why in the hell is this happening?!?

So, about that "Last Airbender" teaser...

Here is the YouTube link for those who have not seen it. (And, as usual, the comments. Good God, the comments.)

The story so far: Once upon a time, there was a terrific animated series called "Avatar: the Last Airbender" (in America. It's known by other titles in other parts of the world where --this is true-- you can't say "Bender" on television. I wanna know how they deal with all the in-show dialogue. Or with "Futurama" and "The Breakfast Club" for that matter.) The series was one of the most critically acclaimed television series of the past five years, animated or otherwise, with excellent world-building, a compelling story, and -best of all- an astonishing attention to characterization and character development. (Sokka, Toph, and Iroh in particular are among my favorite characters ever, but I digress.) It gained that elusive thing that I suspect every animated series secretly hopes for: a very loyal and dedicated fan-following that crosses generational and cultural lines.

Unfortunately, the series was also controlled by a company that had no idea what they'd gotten their filthy meathooks on. Nickelodeon shuffled the series around it's schedule at a whim, split the final season into two seasons without any warning (Good God, can you imagine everyone tuning in for the next "American Idol" episode only to see a cartoon based upon "Barnyard"? And this goes on for a month with no explanation whatsoever? Why in the f*** were we supposed to put up with this B.S.? Sorry, I just opened up old wounds right there.), and has pretty much done everything in it's power to keep this series from gaining new fans. (OK, it isn't as bad as how Disney treats "Gargoyles" -- how the hell is a series going to gain new fans if it's only on at 3:30 in the God-damn morning?!? -- but still.)

Aside from all that, "Avatar" is an amazing series and you need to shut up and add it to your Netflix Queue right now. The second season is unreal.

So now this "Avatar" live-action film is on the way and so far fans have harped on M. Night Shyamalan's involvement, the improbability of condensing the story into a couple of hours, and, err, casting. (The last factor has become a bit of a touchy subject.) My reaction is simple, and it is basically the same as my reaction to any live-action adaptation of an animated series, particularly one I really really like:

Why?

Do we need a live-action "Avatar"? Really? Do we?

This is exactly the kind of series whose reputation among non-fans could be destroyed by a bad movie. (I've already read too many comments from people saying, "Well it'll keep the show's ten-year-old target audience occupied". AAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!)

Remember how they tried -twice- and failed -twice- to make an "X Files" movie that doesn't suck? And how it turned out to be nigh impossible to condense the series' storyline into a couple of hours? And the thing is, a lot of people who never watched "X Files" still know at least a little of the basic plot: Years and years ago, Mulder's sister vanished, he's been trying to solve the mystery all his life, and he strongly suspects she was kidnapped by aliens. And that's just off the top of my head. Now ask one of your best friends what the basic plot of "Avatar" is. Go on. You'll probably want to get something to hit yourself in the head with first.

Truth be told, a commenter over at Neon Dragon's blog said it so I don't have to:

"I lost my excitement when it went from 'It's gonna be animated!'... to 'It's gonna be live action!' And then I heard (about) the casting producer's 'open call' and how she said 'If you're Swedish...wear lederhosen! If you're Korean... wear a kimono!' and decided I didn't want to give these people my money..." - KayJKay

In conclusion, if Platypusbears are not involved, the whole damn thing will be a complete waste of everyone's time.

Superbowl Commercials = Serious Business

Therefore, I shall now give my opinions of the various ads that entertained me (or not) during the game (which, being a chick, I wasn't all that emotionally invested in):

"G.I. Joe" trailer - Eh. Actually, I think I'll see if I can rent the "G.I. Joe" animated movie. I have a feeling it'll be better than this big live-action Hollywood version. Now, why would I think that?

"Transformers: Revenge of the Sith Fallen" trailer - Oh yeah.

Pepsi - You are not Bob Dylan, Will I. Am! Shrek is not Gumby! There is nothing about this ad that does not make me angry!

Budweiser - The horses in love one was very nice. The "fetch" game, not so much.

"Land of the Lost" trailer - It doesn't look that funny, but it's bound to be better than the 1991 revival. (I can't be the only one who remembers if. Observe.)

"Star Trek" trailer - It's enough to say that I'm getting excited about an odd-numbered "Star Trek" movie. And did Kirk just run into a smaller Clover?

"Up" trailer - It's Pixar and it involves a cranky old guy and the plateaus of South America. I am sold. But by the way, not one single Annie Award for "Wall-E"? Seriously?
Teleflora - Um... This flower delivery company knows that flowers are the reproductive parts of a plant, right? Because I do, and with that in mind, this commercial just looks wrong.

Cheetos - When did Chester Cheetah turn into a jerk-ass?

ZOMG 3-D COMMERCIALS WTF LOLERCOPTER!!!
OK, I was lacking in the 3-D glasses department so I have no idea if they were better with them, but the "Monsters V. Aliens" trailer didn't look terrible without them. The movie itself just doesn't look all that interesting to me though. And the So-Be ad after it started out cute, got confusing in the middle, and ended with some premium nightmare fuel.

"Heroes" - It's always fun to be reminded that the stars of "Heroes" are fans themselves, so I liked the playful football ad.

Nerf Swords - Every year, there is one commercial that stands out because it looks so out of place. I'm sure all the LARPers out there are excited about this. I do not doubt that there are LARPers who watch the Superbowl (most LARPers are male) it still seems odd.

"Some-Other-Verb-Besides-Escape To Witch Mountain" trailer - Yes, Disney is revisiting the Witch Mountain series for no good gorram reason. With the Rock. Yeah. (Writes a note to add the original "G.I. Joe" and "Escape to Witch Mountain" movies to her Netflix queue...) Oh, hey, remember how in the original, we didn't learn that the two kids were aliens until the very end? Yeah.

Coke - I loved the Coke bugs! Obviously, somebody liked their "Minuscule", but it was still so cute. Best of all, the insects were allowed to be cute on their own terms; they weren't humanized too much. (See the aforementioned SoBe commercial to see how even slight anthropomorphism of otherwise realistic CGI animals can go horribly, horribly wrong.)

Coke Zero - On the other hand, this "LOL, we'll pretend we're angry at ourselves for stealing our own recipe" ad campaign was not, is not, and never will be funny.

Hulu - It's nice that they're hosting all these ads but... WTF Alec Baldwin? Also, the mammalian brain is already of a fairly squishy consistency. I will invite the reader to accept, without questioning, why I know this.
(OK, think high school, anatomy class, and a dozen female students in their early teens being traumatized when the trailer for "Babe" began running the same week we started...)

Legal Seafood - At this point, we're getting into the local ads at the end of the game. Anyway, this ad features the sounds of Presidents slurping clam chowder. This is what the word "squick" means.

Stop N Shop - Nothing much to say here but, "Yay! They are using animated ads again!" (They had a cute and memorable one around 1989-ish. Sadly, YouTube has failed me.)

And those are about the only ads that made an impression on me. How about some cel-shading (click for big as usual):