It's the Not-Even-Remotely-Annual Summer Animated Trailer Post!

A lot, an awful lot, of trailers for upcoming animated, kind-of-animated, and "how the blazes are we even defining what an animated film is anyway"-ted feature films have premiered lately, so let's all take a look at them!  Boy I hope you like sequels, franchise movies, remakes...



And here's a damn good example of how long it's been since I did one of these blogs: "Incredibles 2" comes out TONIGHT!?  Like, that's soon!  Really soon!  Oh my God, please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck...!!!

Weirdly, I feel like I haven't seen any excitement for this.  It's almost as if we can't even believe an "Incredibles" sequel is actually happening after Brad Bird denied he wanted to make one for all these years.



Boy I hope "Ralph Breaks the Internet" ends up being better than this teaser suggests.  I'm not the first to point this out but the Internet looks like a hellscape of Brands (I mean, it IS, but it'd be nice if they depicted it as anything else), and I'm having a hard time defending the "We are Disney, look upon our I.P.s and despair" scene.  Still, I can't wait to see that Princess scene in context and at least they're acknowledging that the Muppets exist.

Anyway, speaking of Disney, Brands, and Hell:



It's "Hook".  But, like, a Winnie the Pooh version.  Just what the world needed.  Though I like how most of Disney Twitter (TM) is using this as a teaching moment:

For those of you riding the nostalgia wave on the CHRISTOPHER ROBIN trailer, here’s a friendly reminder that Disney did a terrific new animated Winnie the Pooh movie in 2011 that made exactly $12 because they released it the same day as DEATHLY HALLOWS 2. pic.twitter.com/51waBnx6PZ

— David Daut (@DavidMDaut) March 6, 2018

Note: prepare yourself for a lot of people not understanding what hyperbole is in that thread.



I know a sequel to "Mary Poppins" is a thing that is happening, but why?  I can’t shake the feeling that "Sequel to Mary Poppins" is something that either would’ve been a Disney Sunday movie in the 80’s or would’ve happened somewhere between "102 Dalmatians" and "Chicken Little".

But good on them for remembering those crazy neighbors with the ship house.



Guys.  I am so God-damn tired.

Honestly.  I really can't wait until Disney gets this "Remake everything in live-action (for a given definition of live-action)" thing out of their system.  Hell, this might be more annoying than the era of DTV sequels...

Okay, enough bleakness:



Okay, maybe a little bleakness.  I'm conditioned to immediately dislike any new take on "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", doubly so if it gives Grinch a sad backstory to explain why he hates Christmas.  It's a damn sight cuter than the 2000 version at least, though that's a heck of a low bar to clear.



I like "How to Train Your Dragon 2" more than most but it really does feel like a part two and part three crammed together.  That doesn't leave much for part three to resolve, but I feel optimistic.  At least we're going to get more and hopefully even weirder monster designs.



I've been waiting for an official, actual "LEGO Movie 2" for a long time it feels.  All the theatrical LEGO movies have been very good, IMO, and I can't wait to be unexpectedly weepy by the end of this one too.



And here we have the one upcoming (like, not premiering in a few hours) animated film I'm most excited about.  Look at this; look how cool and creative this looks!  More unabashedly trippy CGI please!

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Art of the Day!

Hey, you know what very conspicuously did NOT get a trailer recently?

In Which We Kick Off The New Year by Playing Kill/Refurb/Marry!

A new Year has dawned and with it is the desire to blog more.  And to that end, I've decided to -why not- join the Kill/Refurb/Marry Blog Hop created by Mouse on the Mind and This Happy Place.  This party has been going on for a few months but this month's topic was so oddly specific that I could not resist joining in.

The idea is that the K/F/M founders pick a topic and participants decide which relevant things at Walt Disney World they would get rid of, give an overhaul, or live inside if they could.  And the topic of discussion this time out is that most wondrous and unique of Walt Disney World Experiences, the Aerial Spinner Ride.  Or, "You know, Dumbo and the various less popular Dumbo substitutes".  Nothing says "I am having fun in a theme park" then riding around in a circle inside a thing that is shaped like another thing.  Let's get right into this shall we?  The first choice, at least, is wikkid easy.

Kill: TriceraTop Spin

Right.  So, I will admit that my vote to demolish Dumbo-But-They-Are-Triceratops-For-Reasons-That-Are-Unclear-Until-You-Notice-The-Pun-And-Thereafter-Wish-To-Punch-The-Person-Who-Came-Up-With-That-Because-Honestly is due to my larger issues with Dinoland USA as a whole in general and with Chester and Hester's Dinorama specifically.  (But also because of the pun thing, because, I reiterate, honestly?!?)

New readers, I have to level with you.  'Round here at the Obligatory Art Blog, we love dinosaurs.  A lot.  (About as much as Disney, theme parks, and animation.)  And I think they deserve a much, much better themed land in the Disney parks than... whatever the hell this is.

And, yeah, I "get" it.  I "get" the theme of Dinoland/Dinorama.  I "get" it, and I really, really hate it.  I maintain that there is something very wrong with your theme/concept when it is decades later and most visitors still need to have it explained to them.  Doubly so if the explanation boils down to, "But it's SUPPOSED to look just like your town's cheesy local county fair except it's in Disney World and taking up space that could be better occupied by something totally amazing and unique!  Listen..."  You know what the only non-terrible thing in Dinoland is to me?  That walk-through exhibit of modern species of Mesozoic plants.  The best part of this Dinosaur themed land in a Disney theme park built by Disney Imagineers is a *garden*.  I'm not even angry (I like gardens), I'm just very disappointed.

So yeah, plow over Dinoland USA and start the whole dang thing over.  (Hint: There's already an awesome attraction elsewhere in Animal Kingdom that just so happens to involve dinosaurs of the modern flight-capable persuasion, so let's start by bringing Flights of Wonder over from Asia and take it from there.)  This will, naturally, take TriceraTop Spin down with it.  Oh well.

Refurbish: The Magic Carpets of Aladdin... I guess?

I have to be honest, I have little to no emotional investment in the non-Dumbo Dumbo-type spinning rides in Disney World.  I'm giving this one a refurb because it's kind of awkwardly placed, probably the least interesting idea for an "Aladdin" themed ride (Where the heck is our Cave of Wonders thrill ride?), and Astro-Orbiter is much prettier and has a better view.

Marry: Dumbo the Flying Elephant

Because it's freakin' Dumbo, duh.

Okay, seriously.  One crazy trip around Thanksgiving, my whole grown adult family rode Dumbo, the Mad Tea Party, and Cinderella's Golden Carousel Super-Manly Testosterone-Fueled Spinning Horse Ride For Boys Prince Charming's Regal Carousel and we were about a million times giddier than we were before, for reasons that had nothing to do with Dole Whips.  From Dumbo, we got a few decent seconds-at-a-time tantalizing looks at the New Fantasyland, which was under construction at the time.  That and the new "Dueling Dumbos" version is gorgeous.

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And for extra credit, why not catch up on the other Kill/Refurb/Marry topics?

Resort Hotels

Kill... well, no.  Kill is a little strong.  But Seriously Reconsider: The All-Star Resorts.  The theming over there was decided by a crazy person.  For example, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I learned that the Mighty Ducks building, covered in hockey stuff and with a hockey rink shaped pool, was part of All Star Movies rather then Sports.  (And yes, I know the answer, as it so often is for weird Disney things of that era, is "Because Michael Eisner..."  Look, he doesn't work there anymore.  Move the Ducks/Hockey to Sports and retheme their Movie building to something more timeless, like "Mary Poppins" or "Victory Through Air Power".)

Refurb: The Pop Century Resorts.  Again, the theming is crazy and they look really sad next to their sisters over at Art of Animation.

Marry: Can I be a Polyandrist here?  Because between childhood favorite Beach Club, gorgeous Wilderness Lodge, Animal Kingdom Lodge, and Polynesian, and our DVC home resort Contemporary/Bay Lake Towers, I just can't choose. 

Crescent Lake Restaurants

Kill: ESPN Club.  I get the need for a sports bar in Disney World, it's the fact that this dad oasis wants so desperately to be a restaurant as well that... just, no.

Refurb: Toss-up between Big River Brewery, which either needs to commit fully to being a brewpub where you go in for beer tastings and to drink beer and eat pretzels, or have more room inside to be a full-on restaurant, and Kouzzina which I desperately want to retcon back into Spoodles.

Marry: Il Mulino.  New York.  Trattoria.  Oh goodness, yes.  Most underrated restaurant in the whole World and my family's little secret.  I can't wait for that Risotto Con Funghi and homemade Limoncello.

Thrill Rides

Kill: Dinosaur.  We're plowing over Dinoland anyway, but really the most entertainment I get out of this obnoxiously loud, dark, and buggy mess is hearing Bill Nye trying to tell us with a strait face that Carnotaurus -adorable little gonk-faced Carnotaurus- was "the fiercest and most terrifying predatory dinosaur of all time".  Um...

Refurb:  Splash Mountain.  This is one of my favorite rides ever and by Walt's mustache it needs an awful lot of love.  And I don't mean the seemingly yearly upkeep, I mean updating the animatronics, soundtrack, and the landscaping.  I'm sure they can take a full year or two off from adding new stuff to Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean to give poor Splash Mountain an overhaul.

Marry:  Star Tours.  All versions.  I'll be riding this awesomeness until my thirty-something year old back can't take it anymore.

For more opinions on this blog hop, head on over to the list at Mouse on the Mind.  The next topic is Live In-Park Musicals!  It's the dream we all dream of: Nemo vs. Ariel in the World Series of Blacklight Sensitive Puppetry!

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Sketch of the Day!

Seriously, Carnotaurus was adorable and a sweetie. WTF, Disney?



Bonus much more recent art of a weird-looking prehistoric hoofed mammal! This handsome, hopeful holiday Unitatherium was the result of some Twitter shenanigans and the very last drawing I made in 2013.  I... am okay with this.

The Chronological Animated Disney Canon - The Golden Age part 2

Loose End #4: "The Reluctant Dragon"

Film #5: "Dumbo"
It cracks me up how I had to watch "Snow White", "Pinocchio", and "Fantasia" on VHS but that I can watch "Dumbo" on DVD. According to legend, the only reason why this movie exists is because…
Well, let's just say that even Disney's biggest fans at the time didn't really understand where he was trying to go with "Fantasia" and the film didn't become an appreciated hit until it's re-release in the 60's (tellingly, a great number of experimental animated features were made and released that decade). "Dumbo" was a small-budget feature basically made to recoup the studio's financial losses!
The movie is about as lightweight as Dumbo would have to be in order to fly (heh). I like it, it's fun and it's cute but it's also admittedly not as memorable as it's predecessors. This is all except for two key sequences that make "Dumbo" more memorable than it otherwise would have been:
The first is the "Baby Mine" sequence and the events leading up to it. If you can make it through this without feeling anything, you have a problem.
The second is the infamous Pink Elephants scene! You gotta love it. Bonus points for being the center of one of those showbiz legends that's too good not to be true: It seems one of the animators who produced the sequence was asked, during an interview, "just between us, what were you on when you came up with the Pink Elephants?" And he answered, "Nothing. That's just how my mind worked normally."
Frankly, that scenario is a bit more unsettling.

Film # 6: "Bambi"
As close to a subtle tone poem as Disney has ever done. There's barely any dialogue at all, and much of the story is told only through music, color, and amazingly good characterization and animation. (Dear Dreamworks PDI, you're doing it wrong.)
And it's short! It tops out at only five minutes more than one hour. As with "Dumbo", you barely notice until it's over.
It doesn't take a genius to surmise that this is the favorite, favorite Disney film of Osamu Tezuka and Don Bluth. And I have to say, the courtship of Thumper is just about the funniest Disney moment ever.

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Next Post: We dive into the first of Disney's Anthology Pictures: "Saludos Amigos," "Victory Through Air Power," and "The Three Caballeros". For more posts in this series, go here, or click the Chronological Disney Animated Canon tag below.

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And tomorrow is Drawing Day! If you are going to be online tomorrow, help the Drawing Day team reach their goal of one million drawings uploaded in one day!

I'm still sick and feeling like hell. Thankfully, as far as my doctor can tell, it isn't the Dreaded Overhyped Flu of the Year. It's just a sinus infection. A sinus infection that is making me feel miserable like a cold hasn't made me feel since I was a little kid. My fillings hurt.
But I am enjoying the antibiotics. If you are also sick, here is an extra: raise a mug of herbal tea and relate too hard to Goofy in this cartoon where his creepy earless Anthro George Geef persona fights 50's era chemical warfare against whatever outbreak was going on back then.