So for those of you who dislike "Pokémon" and/or have no interest in it, this is going to be a long-ass post.
For the rest of us, I like Pokémon, you like Pokémon, the fifth generation games are confidently expected to arrive in America sometime this coming late winter/early spring. They are already out in Japan, so, naturally, there are now several small craters where the Pokémon-centric areas of the internet once stood. This is because some fans could not wait a few months and imported copies of "Pokémon Black/White" to play. We're not going to make fun of them, however, (a) because that kind of peculiar glass-houses-and-stones nerd behavior is reprehensible and (b) because these crazy obsessed fans have been nice enough to dole out game information for the rest of us.
Since Nintendo is being a big meanie about screenshots and other graphics, sadly I will not be posting pictures. But here are some of the more intriguing spoilers:
The Plot is NOT "Vision of Escapoké" or whatever.
There was a hilarious-in-hindsight rumor that popped up a few weeks before the game was released that "Black/White" was going to be the "Darker and Edgier" Pokémon game that a vocal chunk of the fandom has desired for years. (For some damn reason, some fans want a "mature" version of "Pokémon". Which is a game series in which a ten year old child is put in charge of beings with phenomenal elemental powers. And where this one guy wanted to reboot the entire universe and got banished to the realm of a cosmic horror dragon thing as punishment.) The plot was said to involve a character that was "a half-Angel", or a cross between a human and a Pokémon, or something else that's terribly... well, the word that's coming to my mind is "fanfiction-y". Seems this isn't the case, thank Arceus.
The Plot is, However, Marginally Different in "Black" and "White".
Somewhat similar to "Ruby/Sapphire", the Not-Team-Rocket you battle depends on the game. In "Black", it's smelly hippies. In "White", it's corrupt corporate executives. There is also a unique area in each game; Back has a city and White has a forest. Furthermore, certain characters will only appear in one game or the other. The identity of the final gym leader, for example, depends on what game you play. I doubt the plot will be all that different in practice, really.
There is an Online Area Called the "Dream World", and in it, it is Possible to Find Pokémon with Alternate Abilities.
This is the most interesting because we know so little about it. The reason is that the Dream World servers have been down for weeks after the release of "Black/White". Yes, the "Dream World" finally takes "Pokémon" out of the Nintendo and onto the Internet. About the only thing I know about it is that you are able to find Pokémon with different Abilities.
(Aside: This is about where I wonder if anyone not familiar with the games got this far.)
Some of these new abilities have the potential to make certain older Pokémon completely broken. Vulpix, for example, gets Drought. Yes, Groudon's Drought, the permanent Sunny Day weather effect. And little Polywag gets the permanent Rainy Day effect Drizzle, which used to be exclusive to Kyogre. Daaaaaamn...
We Finally Have a Maniraptor Pokémon.
OK, so Aaken and Aakeosu are Microraptors, which leaves the pre-teen kid in me a little disappointed. And it boggles the mind that it took five generations. But still, honest-to-goodness 'raptor Pokémon!
Other Pokémon include an electric unicorn, a giant psychic amoeba, a fiery Daruma doll, a cross between a bison and Mr. T, a big badass eagle, a hydra, and a dark/fighting Markie Mark.
My Theory About Mijumaru has Been Jossed.
But at least it was Jossed in the craziest way possible. The little water starter whose character design was criticized as the dumbest thing ever turns into a water unicorn thing with an amazing mustache.
Zubat, Geodude, and Tentacool are Not Appearing in this Game.
Their roles will be taken by three entirely new Pokémon, which is a first. And, in my mind, huge.
That said, I am under good authority that we will be cursing whoever thought of the Electric/Flying squirrel...
Three-on-three battles.
You knew it was coming, I knew it was coming, and here it is.
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Sketch of the Day!
I couldn't resist the pun, but who could?
