Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Ways "Lost" Could End, as Predicted by Anime!

Well, three Anime series and a movie based on one of said series. Here be SPOILERS GALORE! (But no fanart. None. I am not going to draw Jack as a wolf or Locke with an automail arm. No. Just, no.)
We all know this is a series that's not going to end with the old "main character looks into an empty room with a sad smile and closes the door" option. I will make two real predictions here:
1) A lot of fans are going to be really, really upset. May want to give them a break that Monday morning.
2) This series finale will inspir
e essays. Long, long essays.
Now, the three best complete Anime series I've seen (thank you, Netflix) had exactly those kinds of endings, so let's try to use them to predict how "Lost" will end.
Important terminology note before we begin: Borrowing from "Futurama", the "still stuck on Craphole Island" continuity will be known as Universe A, while the "815 landed safely" continuity will be Universe 1.
"Wolf's Rain": Similar in (very) broad strokes to Watership Down, this series ended it's televised run by wrapping up a major conflict, but it didn't conclude the story. This was "fixed" with four episodes that went straight to video, essentially a four-part series finale. The "W.R."-ish Last Episode of "Lost": Every conflict in Universe A is resolved -- but not before everybody dies violently. Jack is the only character left alive, and even then he lies bleeding to death in the bamboo grove. As he slowly passes on (and a ridiculously sad song gradually builds), he gets to watch Craphole Island return to it's pre-crash, pre-Dharma, pre-Jacob and Not-Locke state.
But before the credits role, we get a brief look at Universe 1. All the Universe 1 versions of the Candidates, no matter where they are, suddenly sense something. And then Jack starts running...

Notes: Change a few of the details and I think this is the most likely ending of all. We are in for a bittersweet as hell ending.
"Fullmetal Alchemist": Great series. Probably my overall favorite out of this bunch. Note that we're going with the series ending, and will be ignoring the "Conqueror of Shamballa" movie. Most people do anyway. (Seriously, Fritz Lang is somehow involved. WTF?). The "F.M.A"-ish Last Episode of "Lost": Sawyer is able to destroy NotLocke after that creepy kid (the one who looks like a possibly older Aaron) shows him NotLocke's weakness. Meanwhile, Jack is killed and somehow "wakes up" as Universe 1 Jack. Desmond is conveniently there to explain what's up. In the end, all the Losties in Universe A mentally merge with their Universe 1 counterparts -- and, as Desmond comments, none of them remember a thing about their Craphole Island experiences. And Jack? He's stuck in Universe A, and starts on the search for a way to cross over... Notes: This may be the best integration of the two Universes. And I'd be surprised if Jack gets off the Island.
"Neon Genesis Evangelion": For the two or three of you who have never heard of this series, it is essentially to the original English-language dub of "Power Rangers" what "Lost" is to "Gilligan's Island".The "N.G.E."-ish Last Episode of "Lost": Forget the various mysteries of the Island, anything about Universe 1, who or what Jacob and NotLocke are, which characters end up on what side, or anything like that. None of that gets resolved. Instead, Jack gets to talk through his daddy issues with some other people. The end.
Notes: You KNOW we're going to hear something about Jack's father one more time for the road. Why not base the whole finale on that and really get it overwith?
The main case against this ending: Carlton and Damon probably enjoy breathing.
"End of Evangelion": After the uproar over "N.G.E."'s... underwhelming series finale, the producers got together again and made this movie. (It was originally how they had intended to end the series, but time and money were uncooperative.) This new ending was.... ye gods, it was somethin'...The "E.o.E."-ish Last Episode of "Lost": The main conflicts of the show are, thankfully, resolved... and then some angelic beings in the form of Sayid come and hug everyone in both Universes, causing them all to dissolve into Slusho. In the end, Universe A Jack finds himself on a desolate shoreline somewhere doing... something inappropriate... to Universe 1 Locke. Locke compares this situation to getting his period.
Notes: Yeah...

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Sketch of the day!
Arrrrrrgh. I was just curious. :(
This will be a Blogger exclusive, as I don't want to stain either online portfolio with this. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sadbeard McJackwolf:



And since I am the kind of person who thinks that any horrible art thing worth doing is worth doing all the way (and Jackwolf needed some friends), here is The Worst Thing Ever:



This is essentially an amalgamation of all the worst kinds of fanart I've ever seen.
Disclaimer: No, I do not for a second regret joining Deviant Art; I've met lots of cool people there and made some great new contacts. But every so often you run into something like this and...
The thing about DA is this: Think about all the art you did in junior high that you loved at the time, then went back to look at it and said, quote, 😭 . OK? Now consider: back when you and I (presuming we're around the same age, dear reader) were just starting out as artists, our embarrassing-in-hindsight artwork was safely hidden in our Sketchbooks, journals, math notebooks, and so on, where nobody else could see them. These kids have their old shames on display for the whole wide web to see. Dang.
So, anyway, "Lost"!

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I am afraid my brain has turned into mush lately. Therefore, I completely forgot to post this lovely Mother's Day song:

1 comment:

Zachary said...

I make no predictions about how Lost will end. Kotaku worries that it will turn into a "boss fight" with the surviving Candidates battling the Locke-Ness Monster (HA! Totally made that up) at the end.

Is it just me, or is the "Alternate Universe" (where everybody's okay) just not interesting? Not only did people not land on the island at all, their lives are completely different from how they were portrayed in "flashbacks" from the first few seasons.

I crave consistency.