Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Crazy Theory involving "G-Force" and Barlowe's Expedition

NOTE: The following is inspired and elaborated from a brief conversation I had under the Onion AV Club interview with Grant Morrison. (And incidentally, the Clubbers did a wonderful series of interviews with writers and illustrators leading up to Comic-Con International. Check 'em out. The Seth on Classic Illustrators feature is already becoming a bit notorious.)
There is a rumor I have heard among my fellow Wayne D. Barlowe fans. It holds that his dense, strange, beautiful, and wildly imaginative illustrated science-fiction novel Expedition was optioned as a film long, long ago. If you're familiar with the book, you know that this would be sort of like basing a film on a Peterson Field Guide.
(Which is, incidentally, a hilarious idea and I will offer myself as a creature design/concept artist Pro Bono to any filmmaker friends who feel themselves up to the challenge.)

The rumor goes on to say that, after years in development limbo and lots and lot
s of executive meddling (our favorite thing), Expedition finally arrived in theaters in the form of, err, this:



Now, on the one hand, I have never really seen any solid evidence to support this Expedition --> "Evolution" theory. The only real clues are a vague reference to the original script being a very dark, serious sci-fi film at IMDB.com, and some of the background creatures in the film (visible in the trailer at around the twenty and thirty second marks) who have a distinctly
Barlowe-esque look.
But on the other, much larger hand (did I ever tell you I am actually a character in a Michel Gondry dream sequence?), I am cynical enough to believe that absolutely anything is possible in the magical world of adaptation decay. I am sure that we all know that illustrated books (especially picture books and comic books) are hit especially hard by adaptation decay. Three words: "L.X.G." (shudders...)

So how does this relate to "Not Another CGI Rodent Movie" "G-Force"? Well, a fellow at the aforementioned Onion AV Club by the handle of Penguin had a theory that, in light of the Expedition --> "Evolution" rumor, might just be possible. Here it is:
"G-Force" = Years in Development Limbo (Executive Meddling + Adaptation Decay) + We3

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Time for happier news: Do you like fantastic fiction? Are you a writer? Do you enjoy nice things? There are two big damn conventions you can attend this coming weekend! If you are in Montreal, you should attend WorldCon (coffee with Neil Gaiman!!!), and if you are in Chicago, you should go to Wizard World (the woman [!!??] who played Greedo will be there!) If you are crazy and live equidistant to Chicago and Montreal, why not try to hit up both?
Also, this...