We went to Disney World earlier this month! It was wild! I may do a brief trip report next post but for now, we had a lot of fun. And as is tradition, my drawings of the residents of Disney's Animal Kingdom:
I got to watch the Great Argus Pheasant "Peacocking" in real life right in front of me and I'm not even kidding, this was one of the coolest things I got to experience on the whole trip! Right up there with Rise of the Resistance!
The Painted Wolves/African Wild Dogs/Cape Hunting Dogs/Lycaon pictus are, I think, a new addition to the Safari. And they're very cool. (And boy I wish I was not sitting adjacent to a very loud fool insisting "No, those are Hyenas like in 'Lion King'!" 😞 )
"Feathered Friends in Flight" is the latest and maybe the best iteration of "Flights of Wonder"/"Up! The Big Bird Adventure"/"Whatever, IDK What You Call It Or What The Framing Story Is, I Am Just Here For The Birds". Simply because - get this - there is NO framing story, just a lot of cool birds doing cool things! What a concept! I got to see a Harpy Eagle in real life! That's right up there with the Skyliner!
Welcome to what is effectively the Year Without a Halloween. Stupid pandemic. I'm determined to keep the spooky season alive even if I can't pass out candy or keep a running tally of what costumes I see most often, always a fun pop-culture barometer. Here are some mostly Halloweeny (or not) links for you.
* Boundless Realms - I don't think I've met a single foolish mortal, Disney Park geek or otherwise, who doesn't adore the Haunted Mansion. Foxx, of the fantastic Passport to Dreams website, has just written a gorgeous book on the Mansion and it is a must-have.
* You're Wrong About is my new podcast obsession that goes over historical events, famous figures, and urban myths that, it turns out, we got all wrong. It's fascinating, if not exactly light listening. Get ready to scream in anger at various decibels at least once.
* I am so, so happy that people are starting to rediscover "Michael Jackson's Halloween", if only because it proves I didn't hallucinate all those years ago. Have a podcast and a video essay.
* Saturday morning and weekday morning cartoons are coming back thanks to MeTV, who will be airing blocks of classic theatrical cartoons starting in January. Consider this your early DVR alert.
* "Eli Roth's History of Horror" is back for another season and I'd be very happy if we got to do this every year please and thank you.
* And if that wet your appetite for horror movie docs, I also love The Kill Count, which, while it is exactly what it sounds like, is also a surprisingly good kind of a Cliff Notes of gory horror for wimps.
"Trish," you ask, "I know you like sharing the weird vintage Disney Park specials you like to watch before heading down to Disney World to get yourself hyped. But why in the world are you sharing one from 1970 set in Disneyland?"
Oh, boy. Just watch:
So the main point of this here weird vintage Disney Park special from 1970 is to advertise the debut of the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland. And eventually we do get there but not before one of the very oddest Disney specials I've ever seen. The thing is, I know I saw this as a little kid and it almost certainly was my first encounter with nearly all the songs included in it. Including the unforgettable "Oh, Please Be Him", which has to be one of the most hysterical-in-every-sense-of-the-word songs ever created.
And I'm almost positive this was the first time I ever encountered The Osmonds. Whew boy...
Unless you're a huge Osmonds fan, this gang of smiling white 70's boys with unsettling teeth are by far the least interesting aspect of the special. They sing smiling white versions of contemporary songs, they are among the first people to ride the Haunted Mansion (I promise we're getting there), and they emphasize the crucial importance of having a designated spot to meet when your party gets separated. Then again, this is a version of Disneyland where the costumed characters openly kidnap people.
I think this must have been made smack in the middle of what would eventually be unofficially known by Disney nerds as the Walt Disney Presents Weird Sh*t Happening to and/or Around Kurt Russel Series (not to be confused with the John Carpenter Presents Weird Sh*t Happening to and/or Around Kurt Russel Trilogy, which is generally considered better), because Kurt is our host here. And he narrates the very best part of the special where we get a look at the effects and characters that populate the Haunted Mansion. He also gives a STORY for the beloved ride that's much nicer than any business with rings stuck in the sidewalk. We get to ride the ride along with the Osmonds and get a reminder of how mind-blowing those effects must have been for the first visitors.
I reiterate: I like to watch vintage Disney Park specials before heading down to The World. I like to see what's changed, what's stayed the same, and what I missed out on that I honestly wouldn't believe actually happened unless they were documented on film for posterity.
"Walt Disney World's 20'th Anniversary: The Dream is Alive" does not preserve much of the latter (save for a brief glimpse of a Pleasure Island marquee). In fact, this Disney Park Anniversary Special contains almost NO footage of Walt Disney World at all. What it gives us instead is Michael Eisner -a LOT of Michael Eisner- struggling to be as charismatic as possible.
Whew, they really don't make them like this anymore. Look for Eddie Murphy's expression at about the seven minute mark, because I had a similar one watching this.
Side note: Me having to pause and rub my temples at the sight of Michael Eisner's credit in "Bojack Horseman" is the new me having to pause and rub my temples at the sight of Seth MacFarlane's credit in "Cosmos".
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Art of the Day!
Speaking of Especially Weird Disney Things, we recently got a look at "Kingdom Hearts 3" and...
😍😍😍 HEY WOW WOWIE WOW AWESOME COOL FUN PARTY BARBIE BIRTHDAY AWESOME WOW YIPPEE YAY WIZARD WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍💩🍹🍰
😨
Okay, this one is going to take some explaining.
If you spend any significant amount of time in the Disney fan portion of this vast sea we call the Internet, you'll find that one thing Disney Park fans like to complain about is the inclusion of popular established characters in Epcot attractions. This hasn't been bothering me nearly as much as it does others, but after watching "BARBIE BIRTHDAY PARTY AT WALT DISNEY WORLD EPCOT '94!!!" (henceforth, "BARBIE IN EPCOT" because I just... can't) I can see where the dissent is coming from.
The whole "BARBIE IN EPCOT" thing was actually a contractual obligation between Disney and Mattel and ye gods, does it ever look like it. I feel like this must have been the Faustian bargain for all the Mattel characters they got to include in "Toy Story". The stage show lasted a little over a year and a half, and just about the only real evidence that it wasn't some kind of group hallucination is this video. The video was available for purchase with special Barbie dolls for a penny, which seems about right.
On the one hand, it's always neat to get a behind-the-scenes look at Disney stage shows, and the segments about how birthdays are celebrated around the world are very nice. On the other hand, you have the screaming 90's child actors. Do anything you can to prepare yourself, because the screaming 90's child actor hosts of this special are like entire seasons of "Full House" made flesh. I hate them, I hate them so much, and it's as much about the screaming and their being genuinely horrible (get your damn fingers off that beautiful cake you monsters!) as it is that I wish I could get as excited about anything as these screaming 90's child actors get about literally everything.
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Because it's my Birthday and I love you (and also because Faebruary's still in my rear-view mirror and St. Patrick's Day is this weekend) have a Bonus Especially Weird Disney Thing! Let me show you the traditional dances of my people:
This isn't what I saw a few nights ago in Raglan Road after downing two Kilkennys (though it's close). This is "Light Magic". It's from 1997 and was meant to be the replacement, in Disneyland, for the Main Street Electrical Parade. Once again, home videos like this are about the only real evidence this wasn't a mass hallucination.
It's also from that very weird, very specific, and thankfully very over period where Disney Parks defined "parade" as "Three or four floats that ride down the street, then stop and stay still for several minutes at a time to do a long elaborate show, then start moving again to suddenly stop and do another show and so on". It went over even less well than "BARBIE IN EPCOT", not even surviving one whole year.
May the good Fairies draw near to you,
And spread love and luck with their weird little dances every day.
And may a good strong drink
Make the memories of horrible screaming 90's child actors go away.
I am going to celebrate a big momentous birthday in Walt Disney World! And I really like to watch vintage Disney Park specials before heading down to The World. I like to see what's changed, what's stayed the same, and what I missed out on.
And this time, I've found some really weird ones. First up, we have a special celebrating what, in my opinion, was the most awesome Disney Parks anniversary of all, the fifteenth anniversary of Walt Disney World. I think this might have even been one of my family's first trips. Every fifteen minutes, someone entering the park would win a prize, and the decorations were terrific.
This special doesn't focus on that at all. Instead, we get half of the Golden Girls, a really strange tour of World Showcase, a reminder of how 3/4ths of the Monkees were everywhere in the 80's, a seemingly endless patriotic production narrated by Charlton Heston, and previews of upcoming attractions, including something about a "studio tour"...
