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Shortly after returning home from the Zoo, I played with my semi-neglected, just-there-to-follow-people Twitter. Just for fun, here are the tweets, reposted in a way where they will hopefully actually make sense:
Trish - And now using my Animorph powers I bring you ZooTweets! Or, "What 'Zookeeper' Would be Like if Trish Wrote it (which thank God she didn't)"
Hooded Merganser - Consarn it, I am not "just a duck"! There's 400 species of us! You got that giant mutant brain, why don't you f***ing learn something?
Tawny Frogmouth - Please, for the love of God, stop hooting at us.
Baird's Tapir - Things I've been identified as today because parents can't be arsed to read the f***ing sign: a pig, an elephant, a bear, Alf...
Green Anaconda - "Ahh, a giant snake!" You know what? I get it. I hear it all the damn day. I know everyone hates me, why remind me?
Ring-Tailed Lemur Couple - Yeah, we're just gonna spoon in front of your kids. Maybe do other things. Hope you parents don't mind.
Christopher the Lion - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Day Gekko - STFU ABOUT CAR INSURANCE!!! I get it, God!
Sleeping African Wild Dogs - So I guess it's cool if I come bark outside your window while you sleep, yah?
Capybara - Capybara don't give a f***.
Red Pandas - The hell we're not "real pandas"!
Ostrich - (Stands right up next to the fence and *stares* at you long enough to realize you are a mammal looking at a dinosaur...)
Trish - This has been ZooTweets! A collection of Tweets based off the most redic things I overheard at the Zoo today.
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In lieu of the Sketch of the Day, I bring you this lovely short film made by a father-son team, shared recently by the usually snarky Topless Robot. It takes a minute or two to find it's footing, but if you aren't misty-eyed after the events that follow the soccer scene, I don't trust you.
(Disclaimer: I was weeping openly by the end and I don't have kids. According to some of the comments on TR, this is much, much rougher for people who do. Just warning you.)
(If you need a laugh after this, one that also involves a little kid with God-tier powers, Everything is Terrible is here for you.)
