Another Crazy Theory, This Time Involving His Dark Materials and "Lost".

Originally posted in LaGremlin Land on 11/16/06. Note that this does not take the "Lost" episodes since that date into account. It also does not acknowledge the "Golden Compass" film. (But then again, who does?)

In Which A Fan of Both Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy and Damon Lindelof/Carlton Cuse/J.J. Abrams' "Lost" Sets out to Prove That the Two Series are Basically The Same Thing

"This is a kid's book series? I can't imagine what kind of pale, boring, morose kids must dig this." - Devin Faraci of CHUD.com

Well, gee, ME for one. >:(
Also, if -for all it's sex and violence- the His Dark Materials series is a kid's book, then so is every other book where the protagonists *start out as* children. So I guess you can go read Lolita, kiddies. What an idjit. (I'm sorry, I read that article shortly before I wanted to post this feature and I just had to rant.)
Anyway, thanks to the title, there's not much left to explain here, I hope. Needless to say, this contains SPOILERS GALORE for both His Dark Materials and "Lost". Both series are wonderful and if you have not watched/read either of them, do so now. Then come back and read this.
As far as I know I'm the only one out there who sees these connections, which is weird cause I know that there are crazy "Lost" fans who want to sniff out every single possible cross-reference ever. I came up with a lot of these after rereading His Dark Materials (I started as soon as it was clear that the film adaptation was out of development limbo; I anticipate it with dread but that's irrelevant for now), and I finished the trilogy on a Wednesday. "Lost" night. And so, my fellow experimental theologians, similarities between His Dark Materials and "Lost":

Well, first, let's get the obvious stuff out of the way:
His Dark Materials: Polar Bears?
Lost: Polar Bears.

His Dark Materials: Science and faith?
Lost: Science and faith.

His Dark Materials: Brings together a disparate group of characters who find themselves in a strange conflict involving forces way beyond human understanding?
Lost: Brings together a disparate group of characters who find themselves in a strange conflict involving forces way beyond human understanding. We think.

Now, here's where things get interesting:
His Dark Materials: The main antagonists in the first book are the "Gobblers". They are a mysterious group of high-ranking people with shady intentions. The Gobblers are, by all evidence, in allegiance with a larger and far shadier organization. We do not learn much about them in the early chapters -- but we do know that they are obsessed with children…
Lost: The main antagonists in the second season are the "Others". They are a mysterious group of islanders with shady intentions. The Others are, by strong implication, in allegiance with a larger, far shadier organization. We don't know much about them by the end of Season Two -- but we do know that they are obsessed with children…

His Dark Materials: Very near the beginning of the first book, it is revealed that the Gobblers have kidnapped countless children. Lyra, the heroine of the trilogy, is stunned to learn that this includes her best friend, Roger.
Lost: By the end of the first season and the beginning of the second, it is revealed that the Others have kidnapped Rousseau's daughter Alex, Claire (who was pregnant with Aaron at the time), the children from the tail end, and Michael's son Walt.

His Dark Materials: The Gobblers operate from a remote location (near the Arctic Circle) which nonetheless has state-of-the-art facilities.
Lost: The Others operate from a remote location (Craphole Island) which nonetheless has state-of-the-art facilities.

His Dark Materials: Here's the kicker. When she meets one of the kidnapped children who has managed to escape, and when she is captured by the Gobblers shortly thereafter, Lyra learns firsthand the horrifying truth of what the Gobblers are up to. Basically, the Gobblers make the children take tests before performing bizarre and cruel experiments on them. It's implied that the point of some of these experiments is to harness a potential power that the children have…
Lost: Here's the kicker. When Michael sets out to rescue Walt, and is captured by the Others, he *sort of* learns firsthand what they're up to when he is allowed to talk with Walt. Walt is able to tell his father that the Others make him "take tests" before Ms. Clue tells him to shut up.
Furthermore, in the episode "Maternity Leave", it's very clear that the Others are performing some kind of bizarre experiments on Aaron before he is even born. A popular theory, backed up by some of the questions that Ms. Clue asks of Michael, has it that the Others are looking for the potential powers that "special" children have…

It really is the same story!
His Dark Materials: At one point, some of the characters must travel through a place that is very like Purgatory.
Lost: A commonly held, though long-dismissed, theory has it that Craphole Island is Purgatory.

His Dark Materials: A certain World in the Multiverse is inhabited by beings called Phantoms. Phantoms are very interested in adults' souls -- by all evidence they eat adult souls.
Lost: Craphole Island is home to a "monster" that looks like a great, dark phantom. "Smoky" seems to be very interested in the contents of peoples' heads -- as evidenced by it’s encounters with Mr. Eko and B'enry, it can basically "read" your soul.

His Dark Materials: In an incredibly sad scene, Lyra encounters Tony, a lost boy who she first takes to be a ghost.
Lost: In an incredibly creepy scene, Shannon sees the lost Walt as a sort of ghost.

His Dark Materials: Creepy Guy In A Boat - "HE (Pantalaimon) can't come."
Lost: Creepy Guy In A Boat - "We're gonna hafta take the boy (Walt)."

His Dark Materials: Climaxes with an epic, apocalyptic battle involving about a zillion characters which sets about several major shakeups in the foundations of the Multiverse.
Lost: Err, well, we still don't know what really happened during the season finale...

Related Links and Sources:
The Wikipedia entries for "Lost", and His Dark Materials are as good enough places as any to start.
"Lost" Fansites: The "Lost" Encyclopedia, Television Without Pity
His Dark Materials Fansites: HisDarkMaterials.org, The Bridge to the Stars
And more recently, This Article that popped up on the Entertainment Weekly website a little while ago and covers several of the more recent seasons. And which also recommends His Dark Materials to "Lost" followers. (As well as the "Matrix" trilogy, which I have just watched again recently and which plays quite differently in a "Lost" world. And I might talk much more about all this later... when I have something much better than a laptop keyboard to tpewith -- err, type with.)

So, about the *other* "Avatar" teaser.

"Avatar" as in the 3D animated movie that James Cameron has been working on since before you and I were born, unless it just feels that way. Not the dubiously necessary live-action adaptation of the well-loved recent animated series of the same title. Here's the trailer for you to watch before I share my thoughts:


OK? OK.
So I'm actually of two minds looking at this trailer. Let me explain.
The twelve-year-old in me was thinking, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Floating islands and spaceships and glowy blue catpeople riding dragons!!! DRAGONS!!!"
But the mean old lady in me was thinking, "Is it me or is the animation downright sh**ty when the alien guy starts talking? Why in the world is the guy who directed 'Aliens From the Deep' giving us a movie where the aliens look like weird humans*? And, aside from looking like 'Ferngully: the Spirits Within' and vaguely reminding me of this music video, what is this movie even about?"
Now with all that said, I still can confidently predict that the actual movie will probably kick all of our asses. Do you remember back in the day when everyone was SURE "Titanic" was going to tank?
(OK, so "Titanic" had The Power of Leo going for it, where "Avatar" seems to have only The Power of Catgirls, but still.)

* - I am watching this trailer on the day of the 100th anniversary of the discovery of the Burgess Shale fossils. I've read a lot of positive comments admiring how "REALLY alien" the glowy blue catpeople are. My friend Opabina would like a word with you.

In other news, why in the hell is this happening?!?

RadioBoston.com Banner Ads!

(Modified from a post originally posted at the old Realm of Mad-Ness on 7/16/02.)

Note: I'm not associated with any bands, musicians, or anything else mentioned here that I didn't invent myself, and the following isn't meant to be an endorsement or the opposite.

You're about to see some of the earliest graphic design work I have ever done. These advertisements originally ran on the front page of RadioBoston.com, a local online radio station from those wild early days of distributing free music over the internet.
I was in charge of creating banner ads to promote several different shows and bands. I never kept track of how many ads I made in all, but I know that this is just a small sample of the ads I liked best. In 2002.
You see, I basically had to rescue these from the RadioBoston servers in a hurry. I didn't really want to get into this (because, frankly, it depresses the hell out of me), but I won't forget the day we all learned that the radio station was being shut down. Those of you who went "oh no..." when I mentioned "those wild early days of distributing free music over the internet" can probably guess what happened. Long story short, our scrappy little online radio station was caught in the crossfire during the spectacular Napster debacle. More information can be found at the RadioBoston website itself, on a webpage that still makes me want to cry.
Ahem...
So here are all of the banner ads I was able to rescue. Remember, this was the first graphic design I had ever done, I was still getting used to Photoshop, and I was experimenting with animated gif files. All of these ads are gif files, and time tends not to be kind to gifs. I'm not going to post them in any particular order.
Comments are open, so if you were a fan of RadioBoston.com -- or one of the bands we played or a former "E.J." -- please share your memories.

In happier news, it looks like we finally can have nice things! (I am guardedly happy about this. I won't be leaping for joy until I actually have it in my hands.) Also, Disney has seen fit to release one of my favorite featurettes on DVD: "Donald in Mathmagic Land". This had previously been put on DVD as part of a limited edition collection, and it is a little pricey, but if you're either a fifth grade math teacher or a Disney Channel Brat who remembers having their mind blown by this short, it is definately worth a look. (Also, hilariously off-model cover art. It looks like poor Donald's head has become a perfect sphere and his right eye is about to collapse into a singularity.)
As of now, I have rescued everything worth rescuing from the old Geocities sites. Some of it will show up here; others are currently readable or scheduled at the New!Realm of Madness. Better yet, new reviews will be arriving at the Realm starting next week (and hopefully every other week at least until the end of the year.)
I may rescue some stuff from my old MySpace blog, but I'm definitely sticking with the Tuesday/Thursday schedule for the rest of the summer. If anyone told me I'd be nostalgic for the unseasonably cold rains back in June...

One of my problems with cartoon-based movies.

Thus far, we've seen a "G.I. Joe" movie and "Transformers 2: Rollin' on the Floor" "Michael Bay Learns How to Add and Subtract!" Both of these made an obscene amount of money despite the fact that they both strikingly resemble irony-free remakes of "Team America". Later on, we're going to be subjected to another damn "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie, as well as this little brain-tulip, which I saw a commercial for earlier and which inspired this post:

Never mind the insanely sh**ty CGI used on Scooby Doo here. Here's what irked me:
In twenty-five years of "Scooby Doo" reruns, the question of how Scooby and Shaggy met never once occurred to me.
Likewise, I never asked myself, "Gee, I wonder what Cobra Commander was like before he dedicated himself to supervillainry?" Or, "Why are the robots always dealing with kids named Witwicky?"
There's a decent discussion on this very subject in this article, but honestly, I'm just very bitter because the local theater has three screens each dedicated to "G.I. Joe" and "Transformers", yet they do not appear to know what a "District 9" or a "Ponyo" is. Wah.
By the way, were any of you at all aware that the stupid-looking dentist show on Nick-at-Night was produced by Michael Eisner? Cause I wasn't.

Captain Eeyore and The Weirdest Disney Thing

"Captain Eeyore"... might just be one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
Never intended for the eyes of people who are not Disney Cast Member Cyborgs, this little slice of happy was created to be the highlight of a cast party. It's since become a cult favorite that has recently gained some new fans thanks to the wonderful Walt Dated World website posting it on Facebook as a tribute to Michael Jackson. It may be the best tribute I've seen so far:


It's a little bit funnier if you know the back-story (here care of Jim Hill Media), particularly the horror stories centered around that walking design flaw better known as the original Pooh costume. (Anyone in the suit was completely unable to use their arms as, unlike in the film, you are not allowed to break character for anything. Think about that for a minute.)
If you're the impatient type, skip to Part Three, which parodies most of the "Captain EO" scenes you actually remember and has Eeyore dancing.

Now, a while back, I was finding and posting several other weird Disney film and television clips from my past that I'd found online. I was hoping to eventually build to the weirdest Disney cartoon I remember seeing but it slipped my mind. Well, now is the time. Now is the best time! Now is the best time of your...
...Uh, anyway.
The weirdest Disney thing (of which I am currently aware at least) is a cartoon called "Plutopia":



Actually, I will make one comment about this cartoon, and it is specifically directed at all the "Oh noes, think of the children" types out there. I saw this cartoon a lot as a little kid. And even back then it freaked me out a little, but I was unable to put into words exactly why. (Until I watched it again in college and realized that Pluto is fantasizing about being overfed by a sadomasochistic cat.) So dark and/or adult things in cartoons will not scar a child for life or anything because it will probably go right over their head. Usually.
Also, the "bone well" is creepy if you think about it.

Showing some love for Phil Tippet's Go-Motion Maniraptors

I unfortunately need to start with a complete downer: Now we'll never know what would have happened in "The Breakfast Club: Monday Morning". :(
Now, If I'm remembering right, I'm pretty sure I have already mentioned one of my favorites from my childhood, the 1985 TV documentary "Dinosaur!" (not to be confused with the aforementioned Epic Fail, "Disney's Dinosaur".) This aired once on one of the (then) big three stations and was hosted by Christopher Reeve as he toured the pre-massive-update American Museum of Natural History in New York City.*
"But, Trish," you ask, "why is this charmingly outdated dinosaur documentary relevant to this art/animation/pop culture blog?"
I was just about to get to that. There are two fun parts to this particular doc. One is that it focuses more on the very unusual "dinosaurs in popular culture" angle. You don't see many people writing about this and it isn't like there's a lack of things to write about.
But more interesting by far are the animated sequences:



Phil Tippett for the waffles.
You think you're unfamiliar with Tippett, but you have, without a doubt, seen his work. And if you read over his very diverse filmography, you'll note that he loves all his "babies".
Most notably, he perfected a variation on stop-motion animation called "Go-Motion". The technique utilizes a slight blur to achieve a somewhat more naturalistic movement. Originally, he was going to use this kind of animation in "Jurassic Park" and that's where the 'raptors come back in:



Woah. (At the same time, um... tongues? Well, it was very early in production and the character designs hadn't been finalized yet.) They did a few tests like this but ultimately decided to do a still-very-awesome-looking combination of (get a cold drink and a comfy seat) stop-motion augmented CGI, elaborate puppets, full-sized animatronics, and even people in suits a la classic "Godzilla". The fact that you really can't tell which is which even now tells you how awesome Tippett and his animation team really is.
Heck, I'm still mourning the fact that we didn't get to see the rumored early proposal of "Disney's Dinosaur" that would have been animated by a team led by Tippet, would have had no dialogue at all, and would have been directed by Paul Verhoeven.
Let me repeat that: a Paul Verhoeven Disney movie.
With animation by Phil Tippet.
And no talking.
At all.
Man, the world missed out on something Epic there. Epic Win or Epic Fail, we shall sadly never know.
It also makes me wonder about this little slice of WTF...

* - I have a great tale of childhood woe to tell now that I've brought AMNH up.
When I was a kid, my family and I visited New York City once. Only once. The post-massive-update Dinosaur Halls at AMNH were the one thing in the entire city I had any interest in seeing.
We get to the museum on the last day of our trip. Guess what one part of the museum is closed? Go on!

Scarred. For. Life.
All you kids who are sad because the things don't really come to life at night can bite me.
And just for fun...

So, let's talk about that "Fantastic Mr. Fox" trailer.

For those who have not seen it:



My quick thoughts:

1) Yay stop-motion!!!
I like how we're seeing more and more stop-motion these days. Seems that many animated films are avoiding the whole "hand-drawn vs. CGI" debate (which, in case I haven't mentioned it yet, is stupid; especially when it is erroneously called "2D vs. 3D") by taking a third option. So far, they've inadvertently proved that normal people (by which I mean people who are not themselves animators or animation fans) don't care what kind of animation you use as long as the characters are interesting and the story doesn't suck.
And I like how the animation in this movie looks a lot like Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion (go add "Jason and the Argonauts" to your queue if you don't know who Harryhausen is). It's hard to explain; I'm old-fashioned and I really like old-school animation techniques, especially their low-tech hallmarks. (And I'd love to do stop-motion animation myself; sadly God did not see fit to bless me with the 3D design talent, but that is a tale of woe for another day.) The fur on the Furries is messed-up slightly in each frame and it looks all the more awesome for that.
What I'd really love to see at this point is a big, mainstream summer action movie done in live-action/stop-motion a la Harryhausen. (A few years ago, there was a rumor of a "Sinbad" movie with animation by Harryhausen himself... but... yeah...)

2) With all this in mind, however, it makes me very, very sad to see many comments already online to the effect of, "NOT ANOTHER CGI AMINAL MOOVEE!!! >:( "
Sometimes, I hate people.

3) Open letter to people in charge of making trailers for animated movies: Unless, say, George Clooney sculpted the little wire skeletons or manned the camera or sewed the intricate little costumes or, you know, animated the movie himself, he has no business being listed in the credits. (More of my thoughts on the "Will Smith is a fish and he quotes old movie lines LOL" school of animated film voice casting are here.)

A Crazy Theory involving "G-Force" and Barlowe's Expedition

NOTE: The following is inspired and elaborated from a brief conversation I had under the Onion AV Club interview with Grant Morrison. (And incidentally, the Clubbers did a wonderful series of interviews with writers and illustrators leading up to Comic-Con International. Check 'em out. The Seth on Classic Illustrators feature is already becoming a bit notorious.)
There is a rumor I have heard among my fellow Wayne D. Barlowe fans. It holds that his dense, strange, beautiful, and wildly imaginative illustrated science-fiction novel Expedition was optioned as a film long, long ago. If you're familiar with the book, you know that this would be sort of like basing a film on a Peterson Field Guide.
(Which is, incidentally, a hilarious idea and I will offer myself as a creature design/concept artist Pro Bono to any filmmaker friends who feel themselves up to the challenge.)
The rumor goes on to say that, after years in development limbo and lots and lots of executive meddling (our favorite thing), Expedition finally arrived in theaters in the form of, err, this:



Now, on the one hand, I have never really seen any solid evidence to support this Expedition --> "Evolution" theory. The only real clues are a vague reference to the original script being a very dark, serious sci-fi film at IMDB.com, and some of the background creatures in the film (visible in the trailer at around the twenty and thirty second marks) who have a distinctly Barlowe-esque look.
But on the other, much larger hand (did I ever tell you I am actually a character in a Michel Gondry dream sequence?), I am cynical enough to believe that absolutely anything is possible in the magical world of adaptation decay. I am sure that we all know that illustrated books (especially picture books and comic books) are hit especially hard by adaptation decay. Three words: "L.X.G." (shudders...)
So how does this relate to "Not Another CGI Rodent Movie" "G-Force"? Well, a fellow at the aforementioned Onion AV Club by the handle of Penguin had a theory that, in light of the Expedition --> "Evolution" rumor, might just be possible. Here it is:
"G-Force" = Years in Development Limbo (Executive Meddling + Adaptation Decay) + We3

----

Time for happier news: Do you like fantastic fiction? Are you a writer? Do you enjoy nice things? There are two big damn conventions you can attend this coming weekend! If you are in Montreal, you should attend WorldCon (coffee with Neil Gaiman!!!), and if you are in Chicago, you should go to Wizard World (the woman [!!??] who played Greedo will be there!) If you are crazy and live equidistant to Chicago and Montreal, why not try to hit up both?
Also, this...