Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The 25 Weird Days of Christmas Day 15: "The Christmas Dinosaur"

I feel like these horrible children shouldn't be allowed to have pet Sea Monkeys, never mind the probably last baby pterosaur ever.



And yes, let's get the fact that this is really "The Christmas Pterosaur" out of the way, though that isn't the reason why this special is hot garbage.  It is one reason, but there are more and bigger ones.  To wit:

* - I hate, hate, hate these kids.  The last thing I want to experience during anything titled "The Christmas Dinosaur" is siblings whining and fighting.  That sh*t's too real.
* - I hate, hate, hate their parents too.  Crimony, nothing resolves a conflict between your two children like sarcasm and smug-facing.
* - Come to mention it, if nobody reading the script of this thing looked at the writer with concern and asked, "Dude... do you need to talk?" I'll eat one of my festive Santa hats.
* - "Hey, guys, give me some dinosaur names, quick!"
* - You really don't know anything about Quetzalcoatlus, do you?
* - Between the nosy neighbor, the kids having to keep a secret from their mom through increasingly elaborate means, and weird things happening in an ordinary house, this is like a season's worth of a God-awful syndicated afternoon sitcom crammed into about 45 minutes.  (Note: Dear reader, you are either thinking of "Small Wonder" or "Out of This World" right now.)

* - It's damn near the end of the special and we're finally seeing dinosaurs.  Wee.
* - Really, all the humans in this special are awful people.  Especially since they are only mildly interested in the fact that their town borders the freakin' Lost World.

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Art of the Day!
A leathery-winged friend for Christmas, this time without insufferable children accompaniment.

12.3.15 - The Christmas Pterosaur

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