Wednesday, April 2, 2014

The Princess Project - "Mulan" Commentary

Tweets originally posted on 2/9/14

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"Tomboy"?

Does "Tomboy" even have an agreed-upon meaning? I've heard it maybe 6 times total in my life, mostly in the early 80's which implies the word was already on it's way out.

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I know I say "This opening" a lot but... This opening.

It's hard to say why but already this is way better than "Pocahontas".

Maybe cause they decided not to make the Chinese absurdly perfect and instead just made the characters engaging and fun to be with.

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Take a drink (of coffee to nurse our "Pocahontas" hangovers) when this dude makes a Red-tailed Hawk cry.

Two shots for when she does that generic cartoon eagle/pterosaur cry.

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What an actual Disney Princess Pet looks like.

In the Princess Palace Pets line, Mulan has a pet panda. They actually give the Chinese woman a panda. It's 2014 by the way.

Anyway, Little Brother looks like Stitch (Little Brother was also designed by Chris Sanders, it turns out)....

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LOOK AT THESE HENS!!!

Better yet, look at the SMEARS on these hens! The second-to-the-right's already eating the grain as she's still looking at it!

O_O Grandma is AWESOME!!!

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"All marketing should have Mulan in this dress!"
"You mean the one she's miserable in, Mooney? I'm fired aren't I?"

A big deal was made of somebody calling Mulan "too skinny". If you guessed that line was actually said by an antagonist, have a no-prize.

Anyway, four-limbed but otherwise non-anthro Orthopterids look weird.

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This scene...

I hadn't noticed this before but, weirdly, Mulan's father is kind of antagonistic in the first quarter of the film.

Or more accurately, it's SOCIETY that's the antagonist here. Paraphrasing from an old Demotivational image (of all things)...

...the theme here is, "Tradition! Just cause it's 'always been this way' doesn't mean it's going to be okay to do it forever."

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This. Whole. Sequence.

Okay, so if you didn't get the "Traditional ways aren't always right" subtext, the ancestors are here to emphasize it.

And then, enter Mushu. Uhhh...

There are Disney sidekick critters I'm immediately sold on, those who have to grow on me, and those that are just, no.

Mushu's one of the latter two; it's hard to tell at this point. I like his design but Eddy Murphy's voice so far is a bit much.

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Holy sh*t Shan Yu!

I recall Disney movies were kind of moving away from Big Bads and towards more conceptual antagonistic forces in the 90s-00's.

Shan Yu here is caught in that transition and it's almost as if he's like super-evil in response to the shift.

In other news, my drinking game should've been "Drink when Shan Yu's falcon actually makes falcon cries." Because HONESTLY!

"I'll Make A Man Out Of You" is seriously great.

Especially since it turns out Mulan is just the latest sorry arrival to the Camp Of Misfit Soldiers. Great supporting characters!

I'm... just going to say there are a LOT of reasons I am happy this movie was made in the Time Before Tumblr and leave it at that...

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I'd like to think Mulan adopted this panda as her Palace Pet.

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Moment of silence for the Florida studio.

Oh man, the animation in this whole song!

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Oh. Oh, damn...

It's violent mood whiplash but damn if it isn't effective.

This whole battle/avalanche sequence... O.O

It's a good thing General Shang is an honorable man. Otherwise this could've gone all Game Of Thrones-y...

Dammit, Mushu, Mulan is having an emotional crisis stop being such a lull distraction!!!

Shan Yu's falcon just made the sound of the freaking Pterodactyl Megazord what in the actual f***?!?

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Oh, we're all effed...

"You trusted me when I was Ping, why is the real me any different?" Mulan, laying down sick feminist burns in Imperial China.

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And then, this happens.

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And then, this happens...

"LOL, Shang, you got your big burly ass kicked by a girl! Repeatedly!"

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Attention Dragon vs. Wyvern Debate Team: Go for it.

Mulan just blew Shan Yu the f*** up with weaponized fireworks!?!?!?

The Emperor just put Chi-Fu in his place. Chi-Fu just got Goth-served.

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Awww...

Hmm... Looking at this and the avalanche battle, I wonder how big an influence "Mulan" had on Jackson's "Lord of the Rings"?

"The greatest gift of all is having you as my daughter."

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And now, since it's the Aughts (or close enough), DANCE PARTY ENDING!!!

At least the song's really good. Nick Lachey and Stevie Wonder shouldn't work this well, yet they do.

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