Friday, March 21, 2014

The Princess Project - "Sleeping Beauty" Commentary

Tweets originally posted on 2/1/14.

"... ... ... ... ...whaaaaaaat?" - every single person I know, including myself, to the "Maleficent" trailers.

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And on that note...

Let's see how few screenshots I can do this in. Seeing as of all the Princess movies, I think this ones the prettiest.

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Gonna be an audio snob for as long as they give me the option.

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O.O Hell yeah, it's letterboxed!

No note of Don Bluth in the credits.

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Pretty sure this is our last Giant Book, but what a note to go out on!

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Jaw, meet floor.

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"I'm destined to be True Love with THAT?!"

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"Yeah, we're the best Good-aligned characters in this movie and we know it."

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Note that Aurora has a mom. (Note also that Aurora is the first Princess whose biological parents live through the whole movie and who is raised by a loving foster family. Interesting.)

Right, I said I wasn't going to do the millions of screenshots thing.

So just take my word for it that the acid trip that happens when the Fairy Godmothers bless Aurora is an amazing effect.

So's Maleficent's entrance.

Here's why Maleficent gets to be the leader of the Disney Villains every time they do a crossover in a few screenshots.

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This face...

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This face...

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And this face. Good luck, Angelina.

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Oh yeah, and the whole "I wasn't invited to a baby's birthday party so I'm going to curse her" thing.

She also inadvertently puts every textile worker in the kingdom out of a job.

There are people who hate the Fairy Godmothers in Sleeping Beauty. I do not trust those people, since I'm sure that's a sign of other, deeper flaws.

Aurora gets the title (sort of), and Prince Philip gets the shining armor, but the REAL hero of the movie is Merryweather!

Here's one of my favorite "secretly dark and edgy" moments in an older Disney film...

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"She always ruins your flowers!" Says Fauna after Flora discusses turning PEOPLE into flowers...?!

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Sadly, Merryweather is destined to be outvoted.

What we really have here is the story of three supernatural beings choosing to live as normal people to save a child.

Sadly, the movie mostly skips over that. THAT is the "untold story" I wanna hear!

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Look at these minion designs! Beats the hell out of yellow lozenges any day.

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This is basically my reaction when someone tells me something incredulous.

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So is this...

The lesson here: never send goblins to do a corvid's job.

The whole scene in the cottage = *^_^*

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These backgrounds!

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"Man, nobody in the Parks' costume department can get my hat right."

I also like how Philip's reaction to Aurora's voice is, "WTF IS that? That can't have come out of a human!"

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"Hey guys! Build this castle in reality! As the first theme park castle you've ever built!"
"OK Walt."

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Aurora's gang of critters; so far every Princess has one.

Also, she remembers Prince Philip from when she was a baby. Folktale Logic!

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"Dude. This is pretty (bleep)ed up right here."

"Yeah, sorry I interrupted your dancing with a bunch of wild animals wearing my clothing, lady."

Weird thing is, Aurora is very not wrong about the "We've met before!" part. Again, Folktale logic!

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This whole sequence is terrific but I suddenly suffer Magic Envy.

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The best.

Weirdest thing about Team Pink vs Team Blue: Flora's color scheme is, really, orange.

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Dear Disney Princess Marketing: I want to be able to buy this dress.

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This whole sequence is fascinating to me. Aurora has just learned her true identity as the lost Princess and just. Can't. Deal.

Remember the "help Aurora's Fairy Godmothers celebrate her Birthday" thing in the original New Fantasyland announcement?

Why do I suddenly suspect that this plot point would have been, err, glossed over a little.

Here's the original New Fantasyland announcement if you're curious. It is damned crazy in hindsight.

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Anyway, I have to admit that this would be my reaction too if I learned I was going to grow up to be burdened with political responsibilities.

Although... THAT aspect of being a Princess, you're a woman w/political powers who is also the "face" of your country, is pretty sweet.

The marriage and privilege parts I could do without; just gimme powers. And an army of snowmen. And a fancy dress. And a pony.

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King Hubert is rad. "Hey, that dragon-b**ch's curse is as good as dispelled! Let's get WASTED!"

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"Oh BTW, I already had our kids' castle built so they can marry tonight and start making us grandkids!" Holy isht, Hubert!

Theory: King Hubert is related to King Charming. Somehow.

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Me, IRL. (Well not right NOW, I mean! It's barely past Noon!)

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It's the 60's! Do this if you are a musician!

Never mind Maleficent I want a movie about the kings.

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These backgrounds, though...

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AAAAAAAANNNGST!!!???!!!

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"Well, it's only a few minutes to sunset, I'm sure we can leave her alone and unguarded now."

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This whole sequence is amazing. And scary as hell.

"Sleeping Beauty" has the attention of my family so I'm going to have to cut down on screenshots. But, my whole family is watching a Disney movie from the 60's. :)

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"This. Exactly this, in reality!"
"Whatever you say, Walt. You're the boss."

Whole putting the castle to sleep scene is effing gorgeous.

Sampson = Encouragement Horse

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"ITS A TRAP!!!"

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"Ah crap we blew it AGAIN!!!"
"And that costume department still can't get the hat right."

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Fairies, you're out of your element!!!

Sh*t, Maleficent, that is ice cold.

Corvids continue to be more competent in every way than goblins.

As pointed out by my sister, the Fairy Godmothers are a little Mary Poppins-esque in appearance.

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"Right. That bird is goin' down."

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"This is for taking out my one useful minion!!!"

Okay. I don't hate CGI. I can't emphasize that enough.

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But compare these thorns, which look like they could tear you to shreds if you look at them wrong...

...to the generic 3D ones in the "Maleficent" trailer. Yeah.

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"Yeah, you're all well and truly f**cked."

Sister: "She says 'Hell'?! In a DISNEY movie?!?!?"

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Best movie dragon.

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The music, the sound effects, the animation -- and six limbs!

Dad: "O_O Uh, can we watch that again?"

There's an essay to be written (by somebody w/a better grasp of color theory) on the use of emotional color in "Sleeping Beauty".

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Awww...

Poor King Hubert's like, "IDK WTF?!" Blame it on the alcohol, Hubert.

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Oh. I thought Merryweather won in the end?

Anyway, another giant book "Happily ever after" ending!

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Next week:  The Renaissance-Era Princesses!  (Except Jasmine because damn the Disney vault.)

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