Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Princess Project - "Cinderella" Commentary

Tweets originally posted on 1/31/14.

Somebody more familiar with the song write a parody of "Royals" sung by Princesses Kida, Eilonwy, Calla...

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I'll be an Audio Snob again.

There was a twelve-year gap in-between the first two Princess movies. Crazy.

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Mary Blair, Mary Blairin' it up in this. (I will try not to fangirl it up too much.) (Note: Ha ha ha! I lied! I fangirled it up so hard!)

There's a book to be written about how Walt and Ub Iwerks started speaking to each-other again...

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Nine Old Mans plus One!

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Ooh, another giant storybook!

Love the little moment where Drusilla picks her nose in the prologue. Characterization before she's even a character!

So already, given everything we learn in the prologue, I'm going to argue that, just like Snow White...

...Cinderella is not a "damsel in distress" but a victim of circumstance, struggling to cope w/a traumatic upbringing.

Thing is, it's going to be harder to argue that for Cindy, since they're focusing attention away from her and to her sidekicks already!

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Last time I saw part of somebody's spine do this, it ended in tragedy...

Last time I woke up to rodents and birds inside my bedroom also ended in tragedy...

This morning routine doesn't strike me as particularly sanitary.

There's a whole untold story in Cinderella 's tradition of clothing and dressing newly-arrived critters.

Like she has little suits and shoes READY for them! Then again, the animals are the only residents of the house who are nice to her at all!

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Look at this production design! LOOK at it!

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What a Disney Princess Pet actually looks like.

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about: gaze upon Disney Palace Pets in despair. (And note Cindy's blah redesign.)

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Holy s**t, Gus-Gus!

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Me carrying books. Every time.

Especially Gus' "It'll work THIS time!" attitude.

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(Gasp!) Foreshadowing!!!

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Seriously. You guys. This production design.

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This shot. This shot right here.

Lady Tremain and Deloris Umbridge should hang out.

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Lucifer is pure hate on legs, but he makes the best cat faces. The best.

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"Hey guys! Build this in reality!"
"(Sigh) Okay, Walt."

Meanwhile, King -uh- Charming is pressuring his son to get married and start making him some grandkids.

King is all like, "My sons coming back from doing Prince Stuff so have a party with the whole kingdom attending TONIGHT!!!"

So the events of "Cinderella" take place over a day and a half then. Woah...

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This sequence...

Love the sound effect used when the mean sisters hit each other with the flute.

Whole scene is great.
Tremain: "Ah, girls. Self control, remember."
Cinderella: (Knocks on door)
Tremain: (slams keyboard) "YES?!?"

I practically have the "Cinderelly" scene memorized. Thanks, Disney Channel Christmas Special!

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Just one example, but there's a surprising amount of barely-avoided violence in this scene!

Something to keep in mind: the critters are using material that the mean sisters threw away while screaming that they hate it.

The worst part of the Tremains' cruelty is how *calculated* it is!

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So lay off Cinderella. If anyone is a bad role model in this movie, it's Suzy Mouse. Also, the "gimme my grandkids" King.

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"Seriously, guys! Build this in-Oh no, I've died! Well, I still trust you to build this in real life!"
"OK, Walt."

By the way, it's 8:00 PM, movie time.

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"Girls, a toast to being unrepentant sociopaths!"

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"They're MY beads!"
Yeah. That you threw away. Because you hated them. Coldly calculated cruelty.

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Oh my goodness, she's having an argument with the SOUNDTRACK! This girl's earned her happy ending

Hang on, here comes a series of screenshots...

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It's literally just drawing a line bit-by-bit but look at how effective that is!

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Hand-drawn, fools.

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Don't mind Bruno, he just got back from a Kei$a concert.

Yup. Gonna have to frame-by-frame Cinderella 's transformation too.

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Note that the bulk of her changing takes place in only the last few frames! (Also note her hilarious face in the third frame.)

Godmom warns Cinderella about the Midnight time limit at, I'd estimate, 8:30 at the earliest. So she's got 3.5 hours to party.

And Cinderella is totally fine with the time limit because it's more than the poor psychologically scarred dear could ever dream of.

Cinderella is SO broken by the Tremains and yet she's still a good, grateful person. Dare I say it, she's a good role model?!

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I know I'm like a broken record at this point but LOOK AT THIS PRODUCTION DESIGN!!!

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"Ah! AAAAAHHH!?!?!" - Cinderella's brain right now

Note: Cinderella wanted to go to the Ball simply because she wanted to have fun and feel special for one night after decades of abuse.

I wonder if it was even about meeting the Prince for her! As far as she knows, this is just some guy in a flashy suit!

King Charming is pretty hardcore. He told his assistant to watch what happens between Cinderella and his son while he effs off to bed...

"And if ANYTHING goes wrong..." (makes cut-throat gesture)

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Shazamed this gap in my Disney collection. Got a friendly reminder of why I'm doing the Princess Project.

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Anyway, Mary Blair rules.

My suspicion is confirmed! Cinderella says she has to go meet the Prince! Dramatic irony!!!

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Remember that foreshadowing from earlier?

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Duke, I know the King said he'd (cut-throat) if anything went wrong but sending the Nazghul after Cinderella seems excessive.

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More foreshadowing! Damn, Disney really did have mad #StoryTelling Skillz!

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Oh my GAAAWD, King!

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Hell with it, every single human character in this movie is broken to pieces.

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It is a damn good thing Bruno Bettleheim DGAF about Disney versions of fairy tales...

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What I just said times a thousand.

Duke just told King that the Prince said he's crazy in love with the mystery girl w/the weird footwear and MUST marry her.

And remember, Cindy STILL has no idea her dancing partner was the Prince at all.

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"Seriously, you guys must build this isht in real life!"
"Fine, Ghost of Walt."

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So that brings us to the shoe thing.  (And thanks @Himmapaan for pointing out that “Imperial Majesty” is how one addresses an Emperor...)

Fairy tale logic, shmairy tale logic. Strange magical women distributing bizarre foorwear to broken, depressed girls is no basis for a system of government! :D

I'm gonna say that's not something we should criticize Cindy for. She's just caught up in the circumstances.

And anyway, Cinderella *just now* learns that her partner the night before was the Prince!

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She only really falls for the Prince NOW, mostly because marrying him is her ticket outta this hellhouse!

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And Cindy has the "good" luck to react to all of this right in front of Lady Tremain. Oh crap.

Whoever storyboarded the sequence where Jaq and Gus try to get Cinderella the key is a master of suspense!!!

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Oh, God!!!

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"Eh, one last act of pure spiteful b*tchiness for the road."

Tickets to the ball, something dollars. Party dress, something dollars.

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The look on Lady Tremain's face right now, priceless.

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Girl, seriously!

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Interesting, you can't even see the Prince in this shot! It's all about Cinderella finally escaping her old life.

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Our second literal storybook ending!

Checking out the DVD extras...

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Oh. My. God. Whatever conversation led to this, I need a transcript of it immediately.

I count a whopping three videos of women athletes. Watched a bit of one; circa '04 ESPN guy had a "why am I doing this" look

The 2004 #Cinderella DVD also includes this Mooney-era WDW commercial.

For those not in the know, Andy Mooney is why the Princesses are marketed this way.

Like *specifically* this way; never looking at each other and blah blah something memories magic dreams.

I agree w/the part in Cinderella Ate My Daughter where the reason why the way they're marketed that way distresses me deeply is: these are now folklore-derived characters *without stories*.

Part of the point of Cinderella (sticking w/her) is that she earns the sh*t out of her happy ending.

But in the Princess merchandise there's no nods to her story at all so she's just, kinda... pretty and sparkly?


Vyrmis said...

"Hand drawn, fools."


"I agree w/the part in Cinderella Ate My Daughter where the reason why the way they're marketed that way distresses me deeply is: these are now folklore-derived characters *without stories*.

Part of the point of Cinderella (sticking w/her) is that she earns the sh*t out of her happy ending.

But in the Princess merchandise there's no nods to her story at all so she's just, kinda... pretty and sparkly?"

Very good point. These days she's little more than Mickey Mouse: a person in a costume to see at Disneyland.

Grant said...

I don't even understand what all those athletes have to do with Cinderella. Am I missing something?