Thursday, June 24, 2010

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and... well, Tolerate the Twilight Fandom.

At this point you are aware of this book series known as the Twilight Saga, a magical romp through a land of glittery vampires, cuddly werewolves, epic battles between the two, and some other stuff that is not at all as interesting as it sounds. I read some of the books and watched the first movie all in the interest of science.

And I didn't like any of it.

I have since gotten into arguments over the quality of this series with my friends who do enjoy
Twilight, and that brings us to the real point of this here post: If you have never heard of Twilight, you sure as hell have heard of it's fandom.

This is not without reason, mind you. Some
Twilight fans are... aw, hell with it. Some Twilight fans are nuts. Sparkly vampire bat-sh*t insane, if you will. Several dozen copies of "Cracked Rear View" short of a used CD store. Crazy enough to be screaming for the fictional character portrayed by an actor but *not for the actor himself* (honestly, the vast majority of fans don't seem to give a pair of fetid dingo kidneys for the actors -- they just want the characters they embody, see all those chicks clawing at their jugulars so R-Patz Edward could feed off them.) Yet powerful enough to make the Mtv Movie Awards essentially useless for the next four years.

You know about them because the media loves to focus on the crazier side of fandom. This is why all Trekkers hang out in full Starfleet regalia at all times, all Furries are into the weird stuff, all Anime fans dress like "Naruto" characters and/or something called "Steamy-Punks" or "Lolly", and all "Avatar" fans are depressed over how life on Earth just doesn't cut it and they want to turn into Na'vi and move to Pandora and ride a Leonopteryx doin' barrel-roles and sh*t.

Twilight fans have delivered on the crazy fan behavior like no other known fandom. Boy, have they ever (and that's just from the surprisingly huge arts-n-crafts contingent).

SOME of them -- but not all of them.

As I've mentioned, I have friends who enjoyed Twilight. They are not crazy. They also like things that I can agree with. And they (well, except one of them) don't mind that I don't like the series.

Which brings us to this film that made the Internet rounds when "New Moon" was in theaters. And this, this right here, is how I learned to stop worrying and tolerate the
Twilight fandom.

The first time I saw this, I thought it was pretty funny... for about the first minute or two. And then, when all the fans filed into their theater seats, excited to see the movie they've waited so long for, I got a little twinge of uncomfortable familiarity. Haven't I been in a crowd like that? As a matter of fact, yes I have -- my cousins and I were in exactly this kind of crowd going in to see "Matrix Reloaded".

And we all -- the whole theater -- would have been Bull. Sh*t. If this little bait-and-switch stunt had been pulled on us.*

* - Yes, I know. But imagine having to wait four years between, say, "Lost" seasons and you have an idea of the agonizing wait between the first "Matrix' and "Reloaded". Expectations were a *little* high. (And screw you all, I *like* the whole trilogy.)

But that's not the half of it. It isn't just that this guy isn't going to show the promised movie. He berates the
Twilight fans for enjoying the series. And you and I might not like Twilight -- but imagine if you were brought into a theater as a teenager and told that the thing you love is bad and you should feel bad? Wouldn't that be heartbreaking? Wouldn't you feel awful and alienated?

And so, I give the peace sign to all the Twilight fans I may have offended in the past. I'm sorry.

(But I still maintain that getting into an argument with a Creationist is more fun than getting into an argument with a Twilight fan...)



Amazon's Gold Box deal of the day is the complete series of "Fraggle Rock" for $37.50. If you do not own "Fraggle Rock" on DVD, hop to it! This is less than I paid for each individual season!
This goes double if you are a reader with kids.

Also, I got rid of the embedded video because it was causing problems.

Sketch of the Day!
I believe we need something aggressively silly after all that.

8.29.08 - Silly Giganotosaurus Thing


Kev said...

Ha. I arrived at the same place via the Kevin Smith argument, or at-least parts of it, that this is bringing a new generation of young people into alternative fandom and we should be accepting of that.

Although his assertion that somehow this will grow the geek dating pool is a bit icky. I mean, tolerate, yes, but who wants to date a twilight fan?

Trish said...

^ I'm going to get the quote wrong, but the late lamented Geek satire site "Brunching Shuttlecocks" (I don't know why either) once described this weirdest aspect of geek culture similarly:

"Hey, I might be fluent in Klingon, but that guy over there had a 'traditional' Klingon *wedding*! Let's mock him!"