Thursday, May 10, 2012

"No, What Are You DOING?!?" - Let's Continue Reading _If Dinosaurs Were Alive Today_

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When last we left off in the big barrel of insanity that was Dougal Dixon's If Dinosaurs Were Alive Today, we saw a monstrously huge and very 90's Tyrannosaurus attacking a herd of longhorn cattle. This brings us into the chapter about how Theropods would have to deal with modern times.

We're going to ignore for the moment that, uh, there are theropods dealing with modern times, but we'll have to wait a while to get to them. For now, enjoy the above implication that if there were nonavian theropods around, we'd all be reenacting "Reign of Fire". Reason being that big theropods ate everything, including animals that hadn't even appeared in the fossil record yet:

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Even the Hartbeeste is like, "I don't even know..."

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Note: not an image from that one Animorphs book with all the dinosaurs.

This is as good a time to note that obviously Dixon isn't attacking the "what if dinosaurs were still around" premise from the same angle he did in the New Dinosaurs. New Dinosaurs is the "Primer" of alternate universe nonavian dinosaur survival fiction compared to this. With this book it almost looks like they started out with the basic idea, "Let's compare dinosaurs to modern animals" and then things went south.

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I like how they just drop in the "warm-blooded" issue with no elaboration at all. Also, what?  No!  WHAT?!?

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These "Gorilla suit" Troodons are all like, "We got your low metabolism dinosaurs right here!" More importantly, these guys are the first feathered theropods we see in the book. Brace yourself for a bunch of brain farts, including this strange looking "adult Troodon":

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Sticking with the maniraptors for a bit, here's a small flock of badly rendered crab-eating Oviraptors:

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This is a particularly strange Oviraptor behavioral theory that I've seen exactly twice; the other instance was illustrated by no less than Wayne D. Barlowe. I hate to be a spoilsport but wouldn't Oviraptor habitat be lacking in seashores and crabs?

And then we see this:

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Alright, let's ignore the hilarious sight of a flock of Struthiomimids joining a horse race (like so many wild animals who like to run do today). "Struthiomimus resembled today's large, flightless birds... and were the ancestors of all modern birds."

What? WHAT? No. But... WHAT?!?

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Sketch of the Day!

5.4.12 - Sketchbook Page

3 comments:

Albertonykus said...

Also, Struthiomimus "lived alongside... Giganotosaurus". So Struthiomimus lived 34 million years in at least two different continents, wow! XD

And that's a horrible Troodon. Even worse than those maniraptor depictions with hands glued onto the rest of the wing, this one has the entire forearm glued to the wing!

Isn't there a Ceratosaurus vs. lions picture in there somewhere?

raptor_044 said...

Good to see a multi-post review of this book. The only thing I didn't like about Vincent's review was that it wasn't longer.

"Even the Hartbeeste is like, "I don't even know...""

I'm guessing that Dixon was referring to the evidence for Ceratosaurus eating both aquatic & terrestrial prey ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceratosaurus#Paleobiology ), but you're right in that it wasn't explained well.

"ew Dinosaurs is like the "Primer" of alternate universe nonavian dinosaur survival fiction compared to this."

Out of curiosity, what do you consider "the "Primer" of alternate universe nonavian dinosaur survival fiction" period?

"I like how they just drop in the "warm-blooded" issue with no elaboration at all. Also, what? No! WHAT?!?"

To be fair, non-maniraptoran theropods were probably mesothermic & thus not as "warm-blooded" as most living mammals. However, you're right in that it wasn't explained well.

"Brace yourself for a bunch of brain farts, including this strange looking "adult Troodon":"

I've seen that Troodon in at least 1 DK book. Unfortunately, I don't remember which 1.

"I hate to be a spoilsport but wouldn't Oviraptor habitat be lacking in seashores and crabs?"

I'm guessing that Dixon was thinking of Conchoraptor ("Its name was given based on the idea that it was a shellfish-eater (small clams are known from the deposits in which it was found)": http://www.geol.umd.edu/~tholtz/dinoappendix/HoltzappendixWinter2011.pdf ).

"Sketch of the Day!"

What species is that? I'm especially curious b/c when I think "fish-eating deinonychosaurs", I usually think "unenlagiines".

-JD-man

Albertonykus said...

Took me this long to realize that sketch is a red-faced dromaeosaurid eating fish to get carotenoids from it. D'oh!