Saturday, February 14, 2009

Merry Single People Awareness Day!

Ha ha ha.

Seriously, though. This gives me an opportunity to confess my love for one of those random weird things I like: Hilariously Inappropriate Valentine's Day Cards.

This year I found some discount Valentines in a crazy bargain store known as Mardens. (Here comes one of my legendary tangents. Ah, Mardens. Expect to hear about them a lot. Unfortunately, nobody can be told what Mardens is like; you have to see it for yourself.) These "Pagemaster" Valentines aren't particularly inappropriate aside from reminding us all of the worst catchphrase ever foisted upon a character ("This is NOT good! Definately NOT good!"). Also, Why does Macauley Culkin have gigantic Bratz doll lips?

But then I found Valentines based upon that celebrated romance classic... "Street Fighter 2".

What's great about these "Street Fighter 2" Valentines is that, like so many inappropriate Valentines before them, they inadvertently act like Anti-Valentine's Day cards. You have to love the Chun-Li card. There's off-model, and then there's this:

Yargh!?
Now, these are hilarious but the most legendary Inappropriate Valentine's Day Card I have ever seen, I found within this somewhat innocuous-looking package:

Granted, every popular movie is going to have some tie-ins that are... misaimed, shall we say. Thus, the most Inappropriate Valentine's Day Card Ever is this little brain tulip, which I will post without comment:


I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the legendary gallery of terrible Valentine's Day cards at Captain Wacky's Boatload of Fun. Not to mention this lovely Onion editorial. Enjoy, and turn this track up as you do.
P.S. - Craw.

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